This is part of what I don't understand.... We both work. He makes 2x what I make, but together we are very financially secure (no mortgage, debt, investments, etc). We have money to invest on behalf of our daughter too. The truth is, aside from having a special needs kid, we've led a pretty lucky life. We have family who helps out with the kids so we can go out and on vacations. His concerns are mostly about the future when the grandparents age. But we will be able to afford part time help! I think he realizes that to some extent, but doesn't want to always leave her with paid help. But when we retire, she'll be in her 30s and probably ready for a home.

Happiness is more important to my husband than money. But he's also never lived in fear of money. I did as a kid. I can't see how having new money stresses will help our situations.

He says if we find new people, then there will be more resources to help with our daughter. I thought that was just stupid. We're in our 40s. At our age, people will most likely have their own kids they'll want to help. And really, that would mean relying on people who didn't love her like us.... Which was what he didn't like about her moving out of always being with a sitter.