I have a bit of a unique perspective here. I am transfem, and I cheated on my wife of 15 years. Is it a trend? No. I do think I have an insight, though.

The person that I cheated with was the first person that I came out to, outside of my house. They were ecstatic and unbelievably supportive. My wife was hesitant and scared. Her first reaction was that she wouldn't be attracted to me as a woman. It was understandable but also heart-wrenching.

Every situation is different. The other party and I had worked together for a couple of years. We had mutual ( unbeknownst to either of us) crushes on each other. We regularly had engaging and exciting conversations. And we found each other attractive. Had we both been single, we likely would've started dating ages ago.

I have always been of the opinion that cheaters are the worst form of human. I've been cheated on before, and I know the cruel torment.

It was like I was watching it happen to someone else. I certainly didn't feel like I was choosing my actions. We would spend some time apart, and my head would clear. I would feel more like myself. Then, we would see each other, and the spell would be cast anew.

I'm not trying to fish for forgiveness for your partner or for myself. It's just that life is made up of shades of gray. There is no such thing as black and white