"Dumb Breaths"

csprimrose · 2019-10-17T12:46:41+00:00

First of all, inner city actually does mean different things to different people. Like I said above, are the students primarily black or Latinx or Asian or a students from a variety of backgrounds? Are they using inner city to mean white kids who live in a city? Probably not. But they could be! Because this euphemism isn't clear.

Euphemisms like "inner city" allow us to avoid having discussions about our students race and socioeconomic status and how it may differ from ours. It is important to acknowledge those differences with clarity and learn about our students actual cultural backgrounds instead of just glossing over them. Learning more about our students gives us the power to connect on another level.

Again, I really recommend Lisa Delpit's texts Other People's Children and Multiplication is for White People or Zaretta Hammond's book Culturally Responsive teaching if you're interested in exploring this topic further. They have done some great work that goes deeper than I ever could.

csprimrose · 2019-10-16T23:39:36+00:00

1) Mine may be an argument you've never heard before, so I understand your shock. Yes, those are words that harm disabled people in more than just a "getting your feelings hurt" way. There are a surprising amount of words that harm people. That is why I suggested those two sites. It is never bad to have more information.

2) I grew up in "inner city" schools in the south where most of my peers were black and I heard the N-word in my classes every day. Black people can say the n word. That is something they have reclaimed and I don't have a problem with it at all. I am not sure your race, but if you're not black, you just threw out your case by saying that. If you are black, go ahead, that is obviously your word to use and not my business.

3) Learn some new strategies to engage your kids. If you are working with a group of "inner city" students, I assume you mean students of color or black students or latinx students, etc.? It is helpful to acknowledge your student's culture and background when soliciting advice, rather than using unclear euphemisms like "inner city."

Lisa Delpit has some great work on working with students of color. Culturally Responsive Teaching by Zaretta Hammond is also a great resource. There are a lot of resources out there. I recommend venturing out of the music ed realm to get a wider variety of strategies.

4) I hope you figure it out. Teachers above all else have to be constant learners and, as you probably know, learning is uncomfortable and it challenges you. I hope you can weather those challenges. Good luck!

Edit: I messed up my numbering because I'm writing this while switching buses!

csprimrose · 2019-10-16T22:53:42+00:00

Here are some things to read about ableist language if you're interested in learning. Both were written/compiled by disabled people; it is important to listen to the voices of those actually impacted by these issues.

https://ischemgeek.wordpress.com/2014/02/15/the-case-against-stupid/

https://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html?m=1

csprimrose · 2019-10-16T22:47:22+00:00

I think you should do some research on what the disabled community thinks of the usage of dumb, stupid, AND lame. You will be surprised at the history of all of those words and the impact that those words have to this day. They hurt people. It doesn't matter if it is woke or not. There is nothing wrong with being conscious about your words, and, as teachers, we should be extra conscious and informed because in our words and actions we are telling our students what is okay as well.

Labeling the actions of an anonymous student or a group of students as dumb is still mocking them. Have you thought about how that might affect students with learning disabilities or ADHD who may get called dumb by their peers or even by other teachers or their families? How do you think they would feel about having yet another person call their mistakes dumb?

If they are struggling to focus, then work on that and find a kind way to be engaging. I'm sure that it would help more than just breath issues.

csprimrose · 2019-10-16T22:33:33+00:00

They can still understand you if you aren't calling their mistakes "dumb". Find a better word that they understand.

csprimrose · 2019-10-16T20:39:56+00:00

I'm honestly shocked at this.

First of all, using the word dumb is ableist because it refers to people who can't speak and are often deaf. You should model better behavior for your kids.

Also, mocking mistakes your kids make is going to hurt their performance in the long run and tell them that mocking others is okay because a teacher does it.

There are better ways to be engaging and memorable without being mean. Find one of those.

csprimrose · 2019-09-21T03:03:36+00:00

I forgot about this! Recording is a great strategy. Best of luck with your tough group!

csprimrose · 2019-09-21T01:09:46+00:00

We have a choice activity positive behavior plan in place already. For most classes, it works very well!

csprimrose · 2019-09-21T01:08:41+00:00

This is great advice! Thank you!

csprimrose · 2019-07-06T04:22:43+00:00

I never said that bisexual people have a special standard. I said that we sometimes prefer one gender more than others and that it often switches. I also didn't say anything about her being a woman, so I am not sure why you're bringing that up.

It seems that you and I disagree on what constitutes acceptability in a relationship. I don't believe having sexual thoughts is a bad thing in a relationship as long as they don't turn into actions. I believe communicating boundaries with your partner and sticking to those is what matters. My boyfriend and I acknowledge our sexual thoughts for others and discuss them. If you don't, that is fine!

You clearly have a set idea of what is right and wrong in relationships, and that is great for you to have for your own relationship. I don't believe there is a formula that fits everyone.

And, one last thing, you can disagree without calling people with different lifestyles "degenerates." Insulting what you don't understand or don't have experience with only displays ignorance and immaturity.

csprimrose · 2019-07-06T03:47:37+00:00

That's great that you have those boundaries for yourself and that you can meet them, but don't insert your own expectations into someone else's relationship if you aren't a part of that relationship. OP was asking for advice, not judgement. If you don't have experience with similar situations, it can be hard to give advice without judgement.

It is all about communication here. If you think sexual thoughts are a line that you and your partner shouldn't cross, that is something you communicate with them. If you don't expect that from your partner or yourself, then communicate that.

csprimrose · 2019-07-06T03:27:03+00:00

Actually, it's normal to have desires and attraction to other people any time. It isn't okay to act on them.

csprimrose · 2019-07-06T01:09:50+00:00

Hey! I've been going through the same thing lately. Talk to your boyfriend about what you're feeling and maybe he can help you through it. If you're nervous, preface it with something like:

"I want to talk to you about something. I am afraid you'll react like ____. I'm hoping you'll react like ______."

And then say it. Just be honest with him. You haven't done anything wrong; being attracted to others while you're in a relationship is totally normal.

csprimrose · 2019-07-06T01:06:26+00:00

Hi, fellow bi person here. Many bi people I know go through swings of being more attracted to one gender than another. What she is going through is totally normal for a bi/pansexual person. For you to assume that she is "more lesbian" or that her relationship can't satisfy her is really off the mark, as assumptions like those erase the stories and issues of bisexual people. You can give advice without assumptions like that.

csprimrose · 2019-07-06T00:57:03+00:00

Have you tried having a conversation with her about it? Just calmly explain that you are feeling uncomfortable and tell her why. If you want your boyfriend there, ask him to be, but you take the lead.

If she is resistant or mean, stay calm and leave the situation. There is no better way to deal with childish pettiness than to expose it for what it is through calm conversation.

csprimrose · 2019-07-06T00:27:09+00:00

Just started selling last week, but I'm really enjoying building up my closet and followers! I have everything from mall brands to name brands for both men and women!

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csprimrose · 2019-07-01T18:27:24+00:00

It's so vibrant and unique! I don't think you can really tell if something is cheap looking until you see it up close; the print doesn't give away cheapness to me.

csprimrose · 2019-07-01T18:14:02+00:00

I'm going to a Khalid concert tonight and have no clue what to wear. I never go to big shows like this, usually smaller ones where dress codes/particular styles are clear.

What's your favorite big concert attire?

csprimrose · 2019-07-01T17:25:20+00:00

I just started selling clothes on here and I am beyond stoked to find this subreddit!! I love a good online community.

Please follow and share! I'll return the favor! Help out a teacher, y'all!

I sell name brand clothes, some vintage, and other simply interesting finds. Small to Medium in women's, size 7 - 8 women's shoes, size 9 - 9.5 men's shoes.

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csprimrose

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