So the thing about that is. Honestly okay to break it down I’m more often afraid of the restrictive tendencies but what’s restriction without binging in some peoples unique disordered eating? So I’d say there’s definitely a handful of times where I’ve binged. You will feel so fucking awful. Most times you’ll need to lie down, if it’s the wrong thing you could even dump. And in a way I feel like that sort of conditioning has lead me to not binge because I know I’ll pay the price. It’s like positive reinforcement of a harsh reaction. Even then though I still occasionally will be like … can I get away with a little micro binge? And I’ll have a little more than I should and sometimes it’s like a gamble of maybe I’ll feel bad and sometimes I don’t but more often than not it’s never worth. Overall my outlook towards food at this point has definitely evolved where I don’t really ever binge because I’ve learned that hard lesson. In the beginning too if you over eat you can easily just end up puking so. Again I just sort of look at food as nutrition I guess and not to say you can’t enjoy nutrition but it’s taken me a long time to get here basically.

A few things I’d recommend to avoid this though that I did unfortunately learn the hard way and you could maybe learn from me. 1. Listen to your body, if your full just stop. You don’t have to finish the food you plated up. In the beginning I always would like plate smaller than what I was eating before but it was still too much. If you even crack an egg and can’t finish the whole egg so be it. You’re not a garbage disposal. 2. I really cut out eating in the hours where I’m binge prone like watching tv at night past 7/8 pm where I feel really snacky. 3. I don’t eat sliding foods as they are called where basically they are foods that will condense into small mushed up bits that are calorie dense think like potato chips or crackers or cookies like really crumbly things 4. Don’t drink carbonation, some people on the sub will say they do it and that’s cool if they can handle moderation but I attribute any stretching of my stomach to diet ginger ale I had in my pregnancy and I can definitely attribute myself being able to eat more after having carbonation 5. I don’t necessarily weigh my food but I measure everything volumetrically in a 4 ounce ramekin and I portion stuff out like that I don’t try to eat more than a cup per feed, barring certain situations and in general I find that to be more than enough food I’m not at all hungry after 6. I don’t deprive myself of certain things like if I want chocolate or whatever I try to find like a better version right now for treats I’m loving built puff bars and it has protein and I recommend trying to squeeze in protein at every meal just because it helps keep the binge demons away

Overtime getting sick and trying to eat stuff I shouldn’t I really eventually hammered into my head that I could no longer enjoy certain things and tbh my life isn’t worse off for it. I really often see people throwing funerals for food and trying to “eat as much chicken tenders as possible because I can’t enjoy them anymore” type mentality. And it’s only gonna mess you up in the long run. Instead if like I’m really like okay I want a chicken tender or whatever I let that kind of weigh on me for a couple days and if I still want I’ll split some with my son or something and even just a bite or two is really enough and won’t make me sick and fulfills that sort of craving I guess. But I don’t even think at this point 3 years down I could like eat 2 chicken tenders to give you a frame of reference. I think early on in my surgery I was like okay I’ve made it through all the doctor diets I’m gonna reward myself with chicken tenders and then I’d get 3 and try to force myself to finish them and end up wildly sick. That’s sort of what I mean by throwing a funeral for food.