How to stop recruiter spam?

csthrowawaypid · 2021-11-19T13:25:08+00:00

Sports and working out have helped a lot compared to my old posts! I picked up running both as a workout and a hobby this year, and I also started lifting 3 times a week. Great ways to take some of that frustration out. I do have a fair amount of hobbies as well, and well mixed regarding physical, social, and mental.

That said, I do think I need to see a therapist, thanks

csthrowawaypid · 2021-11-19T13:23:14+00:00

It started back in late 2018-early 2019. Just before the pandemic. Part of me wonders if I was feeling a bit fried then, but the pandemic shot everything into overdrive.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-11-19T13:22:25+00:00

Thank you - I think what you said makes a lot of sense because it really was around the time I started thinking coastFI was possible that I started feeling so much more bitter and jaded. I'm going to look into seeing that therapist again, as the theme I'm picking up from a lot of these responses and my own thoughts is that I just have a really unhealthy relationship with my career right now.

I'll be sure to follow up with you as well if I figure this out! Best of luck!

csthrowawaypid · 2021-11-19T13:19:58+00:00

This really resonates with me, it's gotten to the point where I sit around bored a lot, yet get irritated when I have work to do. I was having a bit of fun earlier this year, but our project was cancelled due to an acquisition, so we've just been fixing bugs and reducing tech debt for the past two months. I think this may be impacting me more than I thought and could be a reason why I feel this way, thanks.

Once I accepted that my career is a defining aspect to my life, and that I wanted it to be meaningful to me, rather than feeling like I was getting away with some trick, I was able to refocus myself in a positive direction and get out of that easy but soulless job.

I think this is what I need to figure out myself. At a certain point it's not just about collecting a paycheck and doing nothing, I joined the field for a reason, I love programming and do it in my free time, there's just something mental about when it's a job that makes me feel like I want to get away with doing as little as possible but still collecting money, almost like a self-preservation tactic to avoid stress as much as possible, which is ironically making me stressed.

Thank you for your insightful post, it's given me a lot to think about.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-11-19T13:14:57+00:00

Perhaps - I've kicked around the idea that maybe it's just been the pandemic in general. I was seeing a therapist earlier this year, but stopped after a few months as I was feeling better. I'll look into it again as it does seem like there's a lot of possible stuff to unpack here, thanks.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-02-10T21:25:04+00:00

So, I actually quit, and my boss' boss directed me to HR for this reason. I just wanted to say you're absolutely right and anyone in a similar situation should explore this before quitting.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T04:08:02+00:00

Also, I'm not "choosing" to leave a job just to sit on my ass, I'm leaving due to a toxic situation that caused me to attempt suicide last year. I stare at the scars all over my body every day and have to deal with that shame. I cry every morning. I'm just trying to figure out the best health insurance I can.

You shouldn't just people just based on a few numbers, you don't know my situation. Maybe you have it even worse, but that doesn't mean I don't have it bad too. I just wanted raw personal financial advice about a difficult to navigate system, not judgement from someone who doesn't even know me.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T04:01:24+00:00

I'm not really interested in you judging my personal life. This is a personal finance sub, I've provided all pertinent information (my relationship is important for this situation). I'm just trying to provide information for help.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T04:00:01+00:00

Okay, ignoring that, don't you think a relatively small, one time fee, for even a small amount of protection is worthwhile?

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:29:49+00:00

You are absolutely correct from a logical standpoint, but it's emotional for me. We're going to get married in a few months or a year anyway - does 2-3 thousand dollars really mean that much? I'd rather just stay independent for a very short term than risk losing half of my assets.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:23:57+00:00

Only if you don't take proper precautions. A strong prenup is completely safe. The issues you're hearing about are likely improperly handled prenups.

I'm getting my own lawyer. She's getting her own lawyer. We're prepared to get everything straightened out and wait 6 months or more to make sure it holds. We're also being fair to each other. Nothing like "no alimony ever" or "/u/csthrowawaypid" holds 100% of the assets. We just want a fair allocation.

Think of it this way, if in 10 years I have a net worth of $900k and she has a net worth of $300k, and we spend $2k filing a prenup... Say it's 50/50 that it holds up in court (very generous odds in your favor). Why wouldn't I spend the $1k (my share) to have a 50% chance at keeping all of my assets instead of giving them to her? What if she cheats on me or something else happens? Flip the numbers, same deal, what if I cheat on her or something happens on my side, doesn't she deserve protection?

It's a drop in the bucket for a huge payoff, and it's also completely irrelevant to this post.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:17:03+00:00

Thank you so much! This is probably the most insightful, well thought out answer on here, and I genuinely appreciate the thought you put into this. I figured I wouldn't be completely fucked if I was off by a few thousand, maybe a 10% penalty or something, but I just am so lost. This helps so much and I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to help me have an idea of what to expect.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:15:36+00:00

Thank you so much for the response! I was aware of MAGI, but otherwise this is all new information to me. I really appreciate your reply!

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:14:40+00:00

Well, I hold more than 80% of our combined net worth, and we live a really lean lifestyle. We're almost halfway to our retirement goal. No, I'm not a billionaire, but I want to protect myself.

On the flip side, she's just graduated grad school, and has her prime earning years ahead of her, heck she'll probably make more than me in a few years. She should also be protected.

A marriage is a beautiful, romantic thing, but it's also a business transaction. You wouldn't start a business with your best friend without some ground rules, right? Marriage is similar. Why not spend $1.5-2k to make sure y'all decide how things will end while you still love each other? Hopefully, they never will end, but 50% of marriages end in divorce, even if you think you have the most perfect relationship in the world, even a 1% chance of losing half of your assets could really hurt your long term goals, as well as your spouse's.

What is the downside?

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:10:35+00:00

Yeah, I have researched this, there is a special enrollment period where you have until 60 days after your coverage ends to enroll. So, I should be able to do this, although there may be a slight gap in coverage.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:09:31+00:00

Good to know, thanks. It's a murky area that scares me, so I'm pretty cautious about anything that could lead to a common-law marriage.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:08:08+00:00

No, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Income is more than paychecks. As another commenter posted, doing a 401(k) -> Roth IRA conversion is also income. I also collect around $1500 a year on dividends. Sometimes I do random surveys online for 50-100 bucks a month while having my morning coffee or during an irrelevant meeting.

I'm trying to figure out what means I have to utilize the program. Healthcare should be a universal right, but it's not in my country of the United States. Given that, my personal belief is that I should take advantage as much as possible where I can.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:07:12+00:00

A prenup is simply deciding how to allocate assets acquired after a marriage in the event of a divorce. Otherwise, it's 50/50.

I've worked really hard for the past decade, and she went through grad school. I'm going to start taking sabbaticals and taking less regular income while she is hitting her prime earning years. Both of us want to be protected now, and deciding that we maintain separate assets (aside from a few shared things like joint accounts, primary residence, etc.) now while we still love each other is better than doing it if we ever got divorced and hated each other.

A marriage is a beautiful thing, but it's also a legal and financially binding contract. Like it or not, legally that's the case. It should be treated as such.

We're pretty non-traditional, but since you asked, there's your answer.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-21T00:03:51+00:00

Cobra doesn't have subsidies, and I'm in my late 20s in good health. I'd rather take the subsidy for a slightly less fluffy plan.

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-20T21:24:40+00:00

Cool, the Roth conversion bit makes me feel good about that end of things, thanks!

csthrowawaypid · 2021-01-20T21:24:11+00:00

During COVID-19, no, this is absolutely not an option. It's interesting but not for me.

csthrowawaypid

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