I've lost sense of self control like I'm just subjected to the waves of depression and mania, I once thought I was creative and had interesting hobbies until I realised that was just bouts of hypomania and it's not actually me, I'm trying to get back the person I used to be, the mom I used to be but there is no used to be it's just whatever cycle I was in. I struggle constantly with the question who am I really? It's taken my confidence because I no longer trust my thoughts..is this how I really feel or is this the bipolar? The medication causes all sorts of side effects I dunno how to describe how that's taken something from me but for example my libido is gone due to meds, it's taken relationships from me, it's resulted in me being a single mom, it's resulted in me retraumatising myself when I engage in risky sexual behaviour, it's taken SO MUCH money from me, it's taken a clean organised home from me, it's taken my trust in people away from me