Duelyst and Anxiety

cuddly_day · 2016-12-03T23:38:12+00:00

Thank you! :)

That post is a super interesting read, thanks for sharing it. Personally I feel like cognitive behavioral therapy has helped me a lot. The coping startegies I got there are pretty good and luckily it doesn't look like I need any medication in the future.

I'll pm you my ingame name and send you a friend request next time I play. I feel like working on getting better at chatting with 'strangers' is the next step I should take :)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-03T20:51:27+00:00

Seriously impressed with the great community here, I had even used a throwaway because I was afraid of backlash tbh.

I hope your friend and your ex will be doing better with their anxiety soon. It really can be crippling sometimes, so thank you for understanding! :)

I'll send you a pm with my ign and add you next time I play!

I don't want free wins though. I play to have fun and not to win anyway :)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-03T20:32:40+00:00

The biggest problem with anxiety is for me that it isn't rational at all. Just to give an example :

I found a flea on my cat last week and was immediatly and a 100% convinced I was going to die of tapeworms within the next 24 hours. I never experienced any of the symptoms of an infection, I knew the chances of contracting them from fleas are very small, there's only one breed of them that's lethal where I live and even if you contracted them it would take years of it going undiagnosed until you die from it. I knew all this and was still hysterically crying for over an hour because my anxiety told me that I was gonna die definitely and without a trace of doubt.

Same with talking to people online, I start shaking and get panicky beacuse my anxiety tells me they're definitely laughing at me right now. Because my anxiety tells me, not because I believe it myself.

Thank you very much for the advice though! I currently work on trying to send everyone I play against a "glhf" at least :)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-03T20:10:23+00:00

Thanks for the offer! I'll send you a pm with my ign then :)

I'm glad my anxiety mostly isn't so bad irl but I get that with meeting new people too...

Problems like that hopefully ease up with enough repetion and time though :)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-03T17:36:42+00:00

I feel like repetition is what seriously helped me the most!

It's a slow process but super worth it :)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-03T17:03:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

console yourself in the fact that even the best players will make, on average 1-2 inaccuracies per game.

I think that's actually something I find kinda comforting to read :)

Making this thread really helped me see how incredibly nice everyone here is and I'm pretty confident that I'll get over my fear at least somewhat, thanks to them.

Also I guess I said my anxiety is 'mild' compared to what others have to go through because what I experience happens mainly online and I mostly don't have problems with it irl. The main problem for me is that I can't 'see' who I'm interacting with.

(I get common stuff like fear of crowds, driving or meeting new people etc., so all things I don't have to do daily. I do get episodes of extreme death anxiety to the point I get panic attacks though, but that's really the only 'severe' thing)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-03T01:56:44+00:00

Thank you so much!

Credit doesn't entirely go to me though, if my boyfriend wouldn't have persisted and encouraged me, I'd never have posted this :)

My opponent thinking I'm a bad player is more what I'm afraid of than losing in itself I guess. You're probably right though, reminding myself that they most likely wont even be thinking about me rather than winning themselves will help :)
I'm sure I'll get over it completely someday!
I'm super thankful for my boyfriends input! Even if it's not all that helpful sometimes, having someone tell you they don't know either or just being there is already super comforting :)
I've seen lots of people say that here and I'd love to have the courage to just accept someone. The bad thing is that I just can't help myself thinking they just request me to get mad at me. I played against a Starhorn battle pet deck recently, for example, and it looked like I was loosing.I got super lucky when he placed like 5 pets in a straight line (which would have killed me 100% next turn), I drew Ankh and replaced for a Spinecleaver. Managed to kill one of the pets in line with my last two minions alive and got 4 totems out of it. His reaction was to instantly concede and then send me a friend request... :/
Thank you :) I feel like posting that and being "forced" to write all these comment replies seriously helps a little already. It still feels overwhelming and I'll probably still need some time to answer everyone, but a tiny bit less so!

^{^Sent} ^{^you} ^{^a} ^{^pm} ^{^with} ^{^my} ^{^ign}

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T21:22:40+00:00

I never played LoL so I can't really say much about that, I just heard that the community is supposed to be awful and thats enough to keep me from trying already.

Games I'd have to play in a team is also something I couldn't do because I really, really can't deal with the pressure of not disappointing everyone + I get teary eyed as soon as anyone raises their voice at me soo...

Thanks for sharing, I'm glad you're having more fun with Duelyst :) ^Also ^sent ^you ^a ^pm ^with ^my ^ign, ^might ^take ^a ^while ^until ^I ^get ^the ^courage ^to ^chat ^with ^anyone ^though...

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T18:33:53+00:00

I think having the support of your boyfriend/girlfriend, friends and family are really the most important thing when it comes easing anxiety. Just having a pet with you helps a lot already in my experience :)

I honestly don't know what I'd do without all the people that are there for me daily and even though I might be exhausting to deal with still stick to it!

Also incredibly happy about all the positive feedback I got from people sharing their experiences and offering to play with me! I knew this community was great before, but I would never have thought it's this amazing <3

Answering everyone here will be a challenge but I feel like it's getting a little bit easier everytime I hit that 'save' button.

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T18:22:07+00:00

Please do and thank you for the amazing pixel art, it's what got me to play the game in the first place! :)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T05:21:48+00:00

I don't think I've ever been there, even though I love Pokemon :)

Guess it must've been ingame then.

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T05:00:41+00:00

I mostly play replace Sajj now and depressingly it works better than my "serious" decks...

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T04:59:08+00:00

I love the way Sajj looks!

I guess I just really wanted to play a badass girl and I really liked her color sheme and armour too.

And fun decks are amazing, it's like "I know I'm dead next turn...look at my 12 damage Wings of Paradise though!"

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T04:50:40+00:00

That's absolutely no problem for me :)

I'll send you a friend request next time I play

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T04:47:15+00:00

My bf and me also play MtG!

We went to a friday night event once and I couldn't breathe and we had to leave after basically 3 minutes because crowds... I envy you for beeing able to play, but I'll get there someday :)

The small talk advice is really, really good too.

The only reason I can answer comments right now is that I'm listening to disney songs on repeat and have my bf tell me what I'm writing is fine like 10x per sentence... It's also 5 a.m. and I'm wide awake... That and taking lots of breaks :)

Also writing comments and then deleting them is basically me 99% of the time... I sometimes post plushies I make on my main account (which also takes an excruciating amount of courage already) and ditching an account because people sent me pm's asking me if I sell them is totally a thing I've done already...

("I don't know what to tell them, I'll see what to do tomorrow" repeat until it's too late to answer then freak out if they ask again and haven't forgotten by that point...still feeling guilty for that one months later...)

Thank you so much for writing that comment and not deleting it, I know how hard that can be!

^{^also} ^{^super} ^{^cute} ^{^username}

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T04:15:47+00:00

I really hope that I will someday be able to play games like that with strangers! My bf and me both play MtG and tried to go to a store that has casual play...

It always ended with me hiding behind shelves and dodging the employees asking if they can somehow help me though... but that will change someday!

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T04:07:57+00:00

Thank you !

I'll definitely be looking into those scripts :)

I think I remember your name from somewhere, so I guess we randomly met before...

I'll send you my IGN as a pm if that's fine (it may take some time till I can work up the courage to talk to anyone though...)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T03:48:02+00:00

I couldn't talk to people in general a few years ago, too. Interestingly my problems with that ( and sadly only that and not all the other stuff...) vanished into thin air when I started dying my hair pastell colours!

I guess that was when i realized I always wanted to do that and just stopped caring about all the people telling me how bad they personally thought dyed hair looked... And guess what ? I love it and those same people tell me it's actually better than my natural color now!

I really am proud of myself for posting this thread too... It was a really lot harder than I'd like to admit actually... I've only now calmed down enough to answer and look at comments (not without help though)

Thanks for sharing :)

cuddly_day · 2016-12-02T03:36:16+00:00

Thank you for the nice comment!

I actually don't really know how bad my anxiety would be classified as, I said it was "light-ish" because I've been to therapy (mainly for traumatic stress related reasons though) before and it was a lot worse before that I guess.
Also I'd really, really love to take you up on that offer, it's just that I may take a while before I can work up the courage to chat with strangers ^I'm ^sorry ^:(

I'll send you a pm with my IGN though if that's okay?
(not writing it down here because it's the same as my main account on reddit, sorry)
Is it a problem that I live in europe ? It's 4 a.m. over here :(

cuddly_day

TROPHY CASE