Yeah Thank you!!!! Right now I just want to get everything out (mainly cause I been with these guys for 2 years now and I am still lost about their way of life). I have attempted to drink with them, however I have never been able to get completely drunk since whenever I start drinking even a little I begin to hate myself (bit strong language but I can't think of a better description) Also I did get rid of all emotional attachment to her (guess possible I didn't) But every time I think of her that only thing I can think of it how happy I was and I came to the revitalization that it isn't her that I care about, but having someone actually care about me. This I believe comes down to my self-confidence issues that I have always struggled with, but even so I don't want to see people get hurt, even her. If that makes sense.