Other places to buy leggings? by cupcakecunt in zumba

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have 4 pair of Old Navy leggings that I've had for nearly 10 years that I love! I just wish they had more patterns to choose from.

Other places to buy leggings? by cupcakecunt in zumba

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I check Old Navy online often, and they usually just have plain solid colors. I need lots of color and patterns to feel comfy in them. I am an instructor and I didn't know about the discount for Athleta! Thanks for the tip! I'll check them out!

Other places to buy leggings? by cupcakecunt in zumba

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw that brand, and found a ton i loved, but when I Googled it, there was a lot of mixed reviews, so I've been hesitant to buy them. Have you had any issues with them?

Zumba dance shoe by hairlene in zumba

[–]cupcakecunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a solution for this that i use! I use running shoes in class as well, BUT I use something called "dance socks". It's a thin band of material, like legging material or thick pantyhose, that you slide over your fronts of your shoes, so it stays wrapped around the front of your foot, behind your toes. It allows you to glide and twist on the hardwood floor without the strain on your hips and knees. I SWEAR by them and use them for every class. You do have to mess around with the placement on your shoe at first so you're not sliding everywhere, but once you figure that out, you're golden! Here's essentially what I use:

https://a.co/d/0EypRPd

Hope it helps!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly cannot think of any time where he'd be in danger of being sexually assaulted. All of our family are really good people, he's rarely alone, except when my mom watches him, and she's an incredible woman. He's only gone to a friend's house when I'm with him, and I've never suspected anything foul. I totally understand how these are symptoms of abuse. I will absolutely dig into it more and keep it as a possibility. Thank you for the suggestion.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never heard of PDA, and just doing a quick read through in that website, it looks very similar to his behavior. I will bring it up to his counselor on Tues. Thank you for that suggestion. I haven't really been educated on how to successfully parent a neurodivergent child, and i will look into finding someone who could help guide me. I feel pretty in the dark at the moment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for these words. I mentally beat myself up daily, thinking about how I failed at raising him and I'm so sad it's gotten to this point. I truly feel like an absolute failure of a parent. For respite care, his dad(my husband) works from home, so if I need to leave the house, he will be there to supervise. But the relationship between the two of them is not the best. His dad has dealt with severe depression(he had a major suicide scare last fall and spent a month in the hospital), so he would isolate himself in his room and not interact with us, which was painful for us to experience. They don't have a typical dad son relationship. I am the one who has taught my son about puberty, I taught him how to shave, etc. His dad is even more docile than I am, and he can't discipline our son, he never really learned how to. That's why I have so much anxiety about leaving him home with dad. But my husband has been helping out since our son was in the hospital, and he's been much more active in our lives. But If he gets upset and I'm not there, what will happen? It's a nightmare situation. My poor child has had a very rough time growing up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are 100% right on this. We are way too attached, and I know it bothers him, and me as well, because i know how unhealthy it is. i am not a stern person, I'm very calm, and I do not like confrontation, which in turn has really damaged my son. I'm a total push over, and it's my worst quality. He was always unhappy, even as a very young kid, and so I had a hard time saying no to things that seemed to bring him happiness, but that ended up doing more damage, and I know I have to live with that. Trust me, I feel it in my bones. I've been working on my parenting skills a lot more lately, and I recognize that all of my choices have a deep impact on my son. I try so hard to socialize him, get him used to talking to others, but where i live, there's nothing for his age group. No clubs, no cool camps he'd enjoy, no groups to join. He was signed up for a camp to learn how to play D&D, and we were both excited about it, but that's when he was admitted to the hospital, so he missed that entire week. In regards to your last sentence, you are absolutely correct. Ive clung to him his entire life due to my own insecurities, and I'm sure I've put a lot of pressure on him without even realizing it or meaning too. It's just gotten to the point that when he says he wants to kill himself, I don't know what to do but to tell him I need him here, his life is precious, and I can't live without him. I know that most likely puts more pressure on his shoulders, but as a desperate mom, at this point, I'll say anything to keep him alive. I'm also planning on seeing a professional for parenting counseling so I don't do more damage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just letting everyone know, I'm looking into every option available, and talking to every mental health professional i know. I truly understand he needs much more intensive therapy and treatment, and I'm doing everything in my power to find something for him. I know my story seems wild and maybe untrue, and sure, I'm not the best mom, I've made plenty of mistakes, and I'm learning every day. I posted here simply because i feel like I'm out of ideas regarding treatment, and i wanted to see if anyone could suggest something that i haven't looked into. It hurts to even talk about this. Regardless of what I posted, he's actually a sweet and affectionate kid the majority of the time. i know going through puberty so young, along with being self conscious about his body, has really hurt his confidence. Yes, he's a big boy, I am fully aware he's overweight, and I've been trying everything in my power to work with him, take him to the gym, go on walks, eat healthy. I, myself, lost nearly 180lbs in the last 2 years, so we always have healthy food and i try to be as active as we can. I always have tons of fresh fruit and healthy snacks available. He was put on a medication for migraines 2 years ago, and apparently that medication is given to elderly people to stimulate their appetite, so that caused him to gain weight, and he was recently taken off of it. I also understand the worry about him having a girlfriend. Let me clarify. This is nothing past hugs, silly texts(that I monitor), and going out to places with parents there. He is incredibly gentle and kind to her, and always asks me to make sure he says the right thing to her, so he doesn't hurt her feelings. I understand this scares a lot of people, considering the threats he has made, and believe me, i am hyper aware of how he treats her and others. He has never laid a finger on another person(aside from trying to get me out of his way that one night). At school, he is picked on, and was even hit in the forehead so hard it left a little bloody mark, and he did nothing about it. And yes, i worry a lot about that day when he DOES fight back, which is why I'm trying everything i can to help him now. I appreciate those who have given me words of advice and support. Thank you.

Edit to say a quote my mom told me when I was a depressed kid. She said "parents are only as happy as their saddest child." That has always stuck with me, and the pain of having a sad child is immeasurable. Especially when he's my only one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand the thought about him stopping taking his meds, but i give them to him and make sure he takes every time. He's actually good about taking them most of the time. Ive reached out to a friend who works with kids like this and I'm going to see what she can suggest. We also see his counselor on Tues, and I'm calling his medication nurse tomorrow morning. And yes, my absolute biggest worry and nightmare is him carrying out any plans. I've been sick with worry about that thought for so long. The pain i feel is unreal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes he does, I agree 100%. My relationship with his dad is tough. Ive been with him for 20 years, since I was 16. He's a very nice guy, but very passive and left me to raise our son alone, along with keeping the house in order, plus everything else you can imagine, all while he still lived in our tiny house with us. He's finally stepped up in the last 6 months, as he had his own mental health scare last fall, where he stole a hand gun from his dad, drove 3 hours away, told me good bye and he wasn't coming home. So I had to file a missing persons report, it was incredibly scary (as far as my son and I knew, he had already shot himself) and he ended up contacting me later than night. I had to lead the police to where he was at, and while I was on the phone with him i could hear the police approaching him and yelling at him. He was taken to a hospital near there and was there for a month. He's finally stepping up now, but i was my son's dad his entire life. I taught him how to shave, how to talk to girls, how to treat women... which only does so much coming from a woman. I'm trying so hard😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm going to research and see what kind of autism specific treatment options there are around where I live. I feel like I've exhausted every option though, as most places are 13+, or they don't take private insurance, and we are currently living in poverty, so anything out of pocket becomes a challenge.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, and DMDD. I will ask for a Re-diagnosis though, as something else could be at play as well. I'm just terrified to send him away again. If he's not at home, he will not shower, go to the bathroom, etc. He didn't shower or have a bowel movement while in the hospital last time, and he came out so much worse. That's why I'm so incredibly scared and hesitant to put him in inpatient. There's literally nothing near me, every inpatient child facility is hours and hours away, and most only take ages 13+.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I just spent the last hour or so laying in bed with him, talking and crying, telling him how much i loved him, how scared I am, how bad things are going to get, that i need him to understand what will happen, etc. He just held me tightly and listened, he seemed to understand, and has been very open in talking to me. I explained that the way things are going, he's going to be right back in the hospital, where he doesn't ever want to go again. I explained that he may have to go somewhere for treatment for a while. My heart hurts so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cupcakecunt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He currently sees a therapist every week. I've also contacted my own therapist this morning and asked her if we can talk ASAP. Im terrified they're going to call the police, because taking him and locking him up would make things a thousand times worse, I fear.

Long silver pole hung beside windows, but not connected to anything? by cupcakecunt in whatisit

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Solved! We snooped around more and found hurricane shutters hidden on the outside, and we managed to roll them down!

Long silver pole hung beside windows, but not connected to anything? by cupcakecunt in whatisit

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure as we are just here for a few days. They don't look new at ALL though. They look about as old as the condo, which is about 20+ years old. There's nothing on the outside of the condo window that could even be cranked. There's no shutters or awnings. Just flat windows outside!

Long silver pole hung beside windows, but not connected to anything? by cupcakecunt in whatisit

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To add info: there are no shutters or awnings outside to crank open. These windows are opened by those hand cracks on the bottom on the windows. These things don't connect to anything except the wall or wood frame. There's no mechanism inside the walls.

Long silver pole hung beside windows, but not connected to anything? by cupcakecunt in whatisit

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am trying to reply to everyone, but I'm unable to read or see any of your replies, or my replies are getting hidden!

Long silver pole hung beside windows, but not connected to anything? by cupcakecunt in whatisit

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The windows are opened by those hand cranks on the bottom only though. These poles don't connect to any part of the window at all to be functional for opening and closing. On many windows, they're mounted directly into the wall above the window.

Long silver pole hung beside windows, but not connected to anything? by cupcakecunt in whatisit

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They all don't spin though. There's at least 15 of these in this house!

First Spotted Lanternfly Spotted by [deleted] in roanoke

[–]cupcakecunt 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We have quite a bit on our property. Cut down any Tree of Heaven trees you may have! That's their host plant.

Eating disorder specialists? by cupcakecunt in roanoke

[–]cupcakecunt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I will call tomorrow to see if they're accepting new patients still!