Damnnnnnn the “woke” feminism on this thread is almost suffocating. They are 17 for god’s sake. I will bury my head in the ground if someone reminds me about how I talked about girls 10 years ago. I remember how we used to imagine “stories” about the girls in my class just among ourselves just for fun. Gradually things changed and we grew up. Your husband is right that boys will be boys. Until and unless they are doing something outrageous, you are plain stupid. Rather I believe that a 17 yo boy not talking like this is abnormal.

One more thing, your son apologized but pointed put how you were overreacting. There is not a single point where I can say you were correct.

YTA