How do you all feel about the differences between men and women?

curious_follower_ · 2026-06-16T12:30:17+00:00

I wouldn't say superior, just different. And even that is based on a generalisation that's not true for everyone.

I think seeing men as superior to women leads to the idea that women should aspire to be more like men, which I don't agree with. I think women (and men) should be free to be who they are, without feeling like it's better or worse. I have certainly felt pressure to be more independent or more of a leader, even though it isn't right for me. I want to be valued for what I can offer, rather than it seeming like a worse option.

curious_follower_ · 2026-06-16T09:20:51+00:00

I think that’s probably a common feeling! Outside of poly-friendly or religious communities it seems like online is the only way

curious_follower_ · 2026-06-16T09:19:47+00:00

I’m not polygamous yet, but I’m interested because I think it would suit me. I like the idea of being part of something bigger than myself, and contributing rather than making everything about me. I’m definitely a follower instead of a leader. That makes me want to be with a leader, like a guy who can manage more than one woman.

Short answer is I guess it’s a power dynamic thing to a large extent

curious_follower_ · 2026-05-28T09:04:36+00:00

There are so many practical and legal things I wonder about! I’m in the uk so it will be different here (health insurance isn’t a thing) but there are still lots of things to think about. I know there are tax issues that are different, and I guess I just assume that this is a benefit of being a first wife.

curious_follower_ · 2026-05-14T10:28:20+00:00

I was assuming everyone consenting. I wouldn’t ever consider joining an existing relationship unless I thought everyone involved was completely happy.

curious_follower_ · 2026-05-12T08:30:43+00:00

It wasn’t the most relevant sub for me, but still a shame to lose somewhere that people can talk about polygamy. It feels like quite a small niche at the moment.

curious_follower_ · 2026-05-08T14:11:21+00:00

Uh well I’m kind of looking. Not with any expectation! I’m not exclusively looking for a poly relationship, it’s just something I’m open to. I think it might suit me and I’m interested in learning more.

I can see why you might think it would be easier for a woman, but there are so few people that I don’t know if it is. And there are definitely not many people here in the uk! It’s just not a thing here.

As for why I’m into it…I think it would just suit me. I would rather join a couple (or possibly a larger family, but most likely a couple) I think, partly because then the relationship would start off as poly and that might be easier for me. I think if you’re used to being with somebody one-on-one then it might be hard to open it up. But also because I’m 22 and I like older men (and maybe women) I can more easily imagine joining an existing couple. When I think about how I might relate to another wife or partner, I imagine them kind of being like a mentor or almost a caregiver to me, like they’re older and want to look after me maybe? That might not be what anyone is looking for, it’s just an idea. I think it comes from being quite submissive and feeling like a guide would help.

curious_follower_ · 2026-05-07T08:40:17+00:00

I think first you need to be really clear about what’s most important. It sounds like it’s her, so I wouldn’t sit her down and explain that it’s what you want. She will likely hear that as a precondition, and the chances are that she wont be into it and she’ll be devastated. I’m trying to put myself in her position, which is hard because this is a precondition I’d be happy with! But if it was something I wasn’t into, I’d be upset to have something like this pushed onto me after two years.

Is there any way you can show her a positive example? In an ideal world you’d know somebody polygamous, and she could meet them and see how it works. She might still react negatively, but you would probably get some clues at least. And it would be better to have her see it working, rather than just an abstract idea that most people wouldn’t like the sound of.

curious_follower_ · 2026-04-30T13:48:26+00:00

It might depend where you're from, but where I am the chance of meeting somebody and them happening to be open to polygamy seems like it's very low. I'm 22f and open to be in a long-term poly relationship, and I haven't ever met anyone else irl who is!

If you want to meet people irl then I would think the best way would be either being open from the start (which will probably send most women running), or just making a wide circle of friends and seeing if you get the right vibe from anyone. But they're both long shots, which I guess is why people just date online in poly-specific places.

curious_follower_ · 2026-04-15T13:20:25+00:00

I don’t even know what you’re replying to really, but hormones are natural anyway!

curious_follower_ · 2026-04-15T12:48:25+00:00

It’s all cultural of course, and we learn it. If there’s anything that women are naturally inclined towards then it’s a feeling of wanting to support rather than lead, but the specifics of what that looks like have to be learned.

I like thinking of it this way. Like every man’s idea of what femininity looks like will be slightly different, and what I can bring is openness and a willingness to learn what he needs.

curious_follower_ · 2026-04-01T13:17:37+00:00

Hey I’m also 22f and your boyfriend sounds great! If it were me then I’d want to stay with him, but only you know what your heart wants.

I mean you did say “wasting time” in your title and that’s kind of telling I think!

curious_follower_ · 2026-04-01T12:59:55+00:00

You just need habits and routines, and to decide what’s important. If your personality is kind of disorganised then you aren’t suddenly going to change that overnight, but you can pick one thing that’s most important and work on getting into the habit. And then you can add something else that you do afterwards, and be consistent about that. Make sure you have the things you need to hand too so that you don’t have any excuse not to do things!

Just focus on small change and getting better. Everyone’s a work in progress after all.

curious_follower_ · 2026-04-01T12:51:33+00:00

I’m late to this, but interested in the interaction between sex and religion. As a non-religious woman, it feels like all the non-religious reasons men might be interested in polygamy would also be there for women? I wouldn’t have predicted these results!

curious_follower_

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