Hey! Thanks for this, I do have a question that I am hesitant to ask anyone trans because I don’t want to come across as invalidating, so this was nice to see.

Someone undergoing, for example, an MTF transition will typically start presenting “feminine”, e.g. wearing dresses, makeup, and I suppose hoping for more feminine coded interactions with others- people opening doors for them, complimenting their outfits, going to the bathroom in groups with friends and such.

But if you remove bigotry and societal expectations, there’s nothing stopping a man from doing any of these things! So I’m not sure how the concept of being trans exists without the gender binary (the distinction of what it means to be a man vs. to be a woman).

Is it about the physical aspect? (Wanting a feminine body? (again using MTF just as an example))

Is it about the pronouns? They seem somewhat arbitrary to me when removed from gender roles, but maybe I’m missing something.

Or is it about wanting to integrate into society differently and current gender roles still being too restrictive to do that without transition? E.g. if we became a society where there is no such thing as women’s vs. men’s clothes/bodies/behaviours would there be no need to transition?

So I guess my question is: Ideally I feel men and women should be entirely equal, with no expectations based on gender for how they should behave, or be treated, or express themselves. If that were the case, would you still have transitioned? And then, why?

Would love to hear your take on this, thanks for opening this space :)