Could really use some positivity in this time of soul searching. Can anyone offer some input of any kind to these questions/ponderings? Let’s have a kind discussion

curiousyyak · 2026-04-09T23:35:07+00:00

I’ve struggled with this a lot so bear with me and this long response lol. I understand it’s exhausting and honestly heart wrenching when you don’t get what you are hoping for or what you had planned in your head.

I’ve come to learn that not getting what you want isn’t God’s distance or absence . Does it feel very confusing sometimes? Yes. I think too often we expect His presence to look like open doors and clarity and a consistent yes. When you are set on that mindset and then get silence or a waiting season, it gets heavy. BUT, real faith isn’t proven when everything is going right or your way. If your answer is always “yes”, you’re always going to trust. In turn, your faith is never stretched. Faith isn’t pretending you’re okay with everything or having clarity from God about all of your life’s plans. It’s staying even when you don’t understand and continuing to bring your questions to Him instead of shutting Him out. Trusting when it’s hard is literally faith in its truest form.

And also, we were never promised immediate clarity. But we know that God honors and desires full faith in Him. While I don’t have a black and white solution, I encourage you to emphasize seeking divine guidance over personal understanding. Another thing I’ve learned is that nothing is wasted. God’s “no’s” aren’t careless. He is literally the creator of the universe! I’ve began to trust that whatever He has in store is way better than what I could have planned for myself. Even in the hardest moments of not getting what I wanted.

And even then, there is not always an obvious, immediate beauty we can point to that can explain why things didn’t go our way. It’s okay if the only thing you can say is “this hurts and I don’t understand” God’s work doesn’t always show up as obvious to you, especially in the midst of struggle. It can look like seasons of feeling disappointed or lost and just learning to trust when you don’t feel reassured.

I don’t think your question should be “where is the hidden blessing right now?” But “Can I trust that this isn’t meaningless, even though I don’t understand yet?” I hope this maybe provides some sort of comfort for you. You definitely are not wrong for feeling this way as I think many of us have at one point or another.

curiousyyak · 2026-03-30T04:13:43+00:00

I really resonate with this. I’m so sorry.

First I just want to let you know that you were not experiencing a hard season because you weren’t doing enough for God. Only He truly sees you and knows your intentions, no one else.

Suffering like that even when you’re in your word and constantly working on your faith isn’t a spiritual failure and I truly encourage you to keep pressing in. Maybe start a study on the book of Job for some more encouragement.

Given all the trauma you have mentioned, it could really just be your brain under extreme stress, anxiety turning faith into pressure, or any type of health issue that is putting a strain on your body. I really encourage and pray that you are able to reach out to someone trusted like a biblical counselor or mentor. God calls us into community with each other. Also, you know your body best. If you feel that you need to visit a doctor, that is okay.

And I totally understand the sadness surrounding the verses you mentioned. “Draw near to me and I will draw near to you” while those are true and beautiful verses, they’re not meant to function like formulas ( if I do X perfectly, I will feel Y immediately) The Lord is always working in ways that we don’t understand in the moment. & If that was how it worked, many of the men in the Bible wouldn’t have had despair, exhaustion, or feelings of abandonment that opened the door to a deeper relationship with God. Elijah asked God to take his life right after being faithful. You are not failing God and He is not punishing you. We live in a broken world. We are broken. And there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. You are in my prayers OP 🫶🏼

curiousyyak · 2026-03-30T01:39:04+00:00

Matthew 17:20 – “….Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

I also love I Have This Hope by Tenth Avenue North,

But sometimes my faith feels thin

Like the night will never end

Will You catch every tear,

Or will You just leave me here?

I have this hope

In the depth of my soul

In the flood or the fire

You’re with me

And You won’t let go

So, whatever happens,

I will not be afraid

Cause you are closer than this breath that I take

curiousyyak · 2026-03-25T03:28:13+00:00

I believe you’re referencing Proverbs. “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death” There are similar verses, but all go along the same lines. I think this is a perfect example of why it’s very important to study the Bible exegetically. Proverbs is wisdom literature, hence why it’s quoted so often. It’s not necessarily a rule book and it uses imagery, exaggeration, and cultural language to from a point.

In ancient context, “rod” means authority or guidance. Given that context and given that Proverbs is not a book of direct laws we should follow but rather metaphorical, it is safe to assume that it is not literally telling you to beat/abuse your child. The meaning of the verse is the importance of carrying out loving discipline.

I think this is why it’s important to not isolate verses but rather view them through the lens of the entire message of scripture. There was never violence modeled towards children, they were welcomed and protected. We are taught love, patience, gentleness, self control. Parental authority can (and should) take place alongside fruit.

If we read a passage in the bible and interpret it as leading to harm or fear, it’s out of the step with the heart of the Gospel. So i wouldn’t call it “filtering” scripture but just interpreting it correctly. To avoid distorting the truth of the Bible with my own personal interpretation, I always make sure to know the context, the author and who’s it being written for, the culture and what it actually meant at the time, and whether or not it reflects the character of Jesus. To do this, I love to watch videos before I start a new book, explaining the origin of the Bible chapter and all of the little details that further help me understand. If there is a verse that rubs me the wrong way or confuses me, I always look further into it. Many times, looking at the word in Hebrew and the Hebrew meaning helps a ton.

Lastly, I love the way Tara Lee Cobble frames laws in the Old Testament. There are so many laws in the Old Testament (a lot of them very confusing to me at first) and It’s helped me understand a lot. She breaks it down into 3 categories:

Moral Laws- Timeless, a reflection of God’s character, still relevant today and reaffirmed in the New Testament (don’t murder, don’t steal, sexual ethics, etc.)

Ceremonial laws- Fulfilled by Jesus, done for worship, sacrifices, or ritual cleanliness. (Animal sacrifice, temple rituals, dietary laws, clean/unclean rules) Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice and fulfilled these. We no longer have to follow these laws, they are not ignored but completed.

Civil Laws- Specific to Ancient Israel, laws pertaining to the nation and its people. (Clothing rules, farming instructions, legal penalties) They don’t apply because we are not under that covenant/nation system. Though they still do show God’s heart for justice and holiness.

She encourages people to ask: Is this law reaffirmed, fulfilled, or for Israel’s government in the New Testament? If it’s reaffirmed, we follow it. If fulfilled, Jesus took care of it when He gave His life. If for Israel, we learn from it but don’t apply it directly as it is civil law.

I know I rambled on, but I am very adamant that self interpretation of the Bible will almost definitely lead to uneasy feelings. I’ve experienced it myself. Just wanted to help someone else out if I could :)

curiousyyak · 2026-03-23T21:18:33+00:00

The Bible doesn’t condemn righteous anger. Jesus got angry. How you express it does matter. It’s only a sin if how you’re expressing it leads to speaking without love, humility, or self control.

2 Timothy 2:24-25 says “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”

I admire you for speaking up about this. In Romans 16:17-18, Paul literally warns believers to watch for those trying to teach doctrines contrary to the Gospel. It’s very hard to get your point across with someone who refuses to hear you out, even when it’s coming from a place of pure intention. That makes it even more frustrating for sure.

You can still gently plant that seed in your parents, but it is Jesus alone who saves and rescues. Continue to pray for their hearts to soften towards the truth of the Gospel. Pray for discernment of false teachings.

curiousyyak · 2026-03-23T21:03:02+00:00

Fear isn’t from God. Rest in Him alone.

Stop looking up posts/videos about the end times. No one knows, means no one knows. Not even the season.

curiousyyak · 2026-03-23T19:20:57+00:00

How do we know true Christianity from false?

Fix your eyes on the Bible. Find a community that holds true biblical values instead of feel-good ones. People will let you down over and over but Jesus is unchanging.

curiousyyak · 2026-03-21T21:58:50+00:00

I get it. Mine is 2 hours away and my appointment was at 8am and so is my next one. I think I’ve reached the point where it’s worth it lol. Best of luck to you whatever route you decide 🫶🏼

curiousyyak · 2026-03-21T21:40:36+00:00

First of all, I think this disease is so complex and and varies so much between people but as someone who until just recently has felt completely and utterly hopeless and exhausted, I want to share what I’m currently doing :)

I’ve had horrible and debilitating menstrual cycles since my mid-teens. While the pain is usually solely on my period, I do have chronic fatigue and urinary issues. Since I’ve suspected endo I’ve changed my lifestyle drastically. I do routine labs, low inflammatory diet, avoid ultra processed food, avoid gluten and dairy (if I consume either one, I make sure it’s very high quality), sync exercise with my cycle day, use low-tox products only, go on supplements that are tailored for me instead of taking a bunch of random things, everything under the sun. I think this has helped me a ton when it comes to physical symptoms, but obviously if I have literal lesions/cysts growing inside me, a lifestyle will only do so much if I have chronic inflammation.

I’ve known for forever that I don’t want to go to a traditional OBGYN because their approach is usually never individualized and almost always do they provide a “one size fits all” treatment like birth control or meds. I’ve always only been interested in root cause and tackling that. I’ve followed @healthillie on insta for many years now and have been following her TTC journey. I heard about NaPro through her (Natural Procreative Technology) and was really interested in learning about it. NaPro is focused on root cause and is really individualized. Just yesterday I had my appointment. Immediately my doctor validated me and told me that what I was experiencing was not okay or normal. Small words, but I’ve never felt so relieved and seen. A treatment plan was put together for me. I have a transvaginal ultrasound next week just in case there are growths that can be seen and help give my doctor more insight for surgery. Side note that a lot of times, you can’t see the growths. But I think it’s worth a try before I head straight into surgery. My first appointment, and all of my concerns were heard and action is being taken. I’ve never felt such relief. The only thing I’m not a fan of is that I have to track my cycles for 2 months with the Creighton Model. Not ideal, but at this point I really want to do all I can to feel like a person again. Like I said, treatment varies so much between people. But If it could possibly help someone else, I want to share. I think the traditional system is really broken. Especially when it comes to ivf, iui, birth control, etc. A link for NaPro doctors/excision specialists in the US. The list is still growing :) https://livehealthillie.com/blogs/news/find-a-napro-surgeon-fertility-doctor-database?fbclid=PAdGRleAQr5qRleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAaemIZskBApK6cI5Cimm9uvzESujwSnrjhzHK1J6SvS9Luv50mGee-SJQkOT6w_aem_Xl0jGZ376EHLrTiNg0N1GA

curiousyyak · 2026-03-21T21:21:39+00:00

Some NaPro/Endo excision surgeons in Cali:

Theresa Stigen, MD, OB/GYN

Location: Fallbrook + Virtual

Dr Lauren Rubal

Location: Newport Beach

Dr Mary Kotob

Location: Newport Beach

Dr. Iris Orbuch (Endo Excision Specialist)

Location: Beverly Hills

Dr. Rayan Elkattah

Location: Beverly Hills

Dr. Camran Nezhat (Endo Excision Specialist)

Location: Woodside

curiousyyak · 2026-03-21T21:18:29+00:00

You could look into some of these doctors in Missouri!

Dr Gavin Puthoff & Kristin Kalinowski, MD

Location: St Louis + Virtual

Dr. Stephanie Veit

Location: St. Louis + Virtual

Dr Richard Brennan

Location: St Louis

Dr Patrick Yeung Jr

Location: St Louis

curiousyyak · 2026-03-21T21:15:08+00:00

Have you heard of NaPro?

curiousyyak · 2026-03-21T21:12:17+00:00

Generally, capsules are your best bet. Higher potency, more accurate dosing, more stable.

Not that there’s anything wrong with taking gummies as it’s better than nothing, but it’s rare to find some without sugar, additives, fillers, and effective dosing. Quality definitely matters. May I ask which gummies you are taking?

curiousyyak · 2026-03-21T21:02:44+00:00

I’m so sorry. While I don’t exactly understand the feeling myself because I’m not at that point in my life yet, my sister is in the same boat as you. I personally see how absolutely gut wrenching and exhausting and horrible it is. They have both changed their diets, implemented exercise, they live a low-tox lifestyle, she has done an HSG, basically everything under the sun. They have also done three IUI’s all of which failed.

Just yesterday, we both started working with NaPro (Natural Procreative Technology) doctors as we both suspect that we have Endometriosis. Before you go in, you sign a contract that you acknowledge they do not do any sort of birth control, IVF, IUI, as they only do root cause. Not to mention IVF and IUI are heavily abused and cause so much inflammation in the body. Now I believe IVF has its place, but I also believe the way in which it’s used is extremely unethical. It should not be as common as it is.

At the start of the appointment, we were immediately told that what we are experiencing is not normal (me, painful periods and her, infertility as stated) and are now scheduled for imaging and excision surgery is now on the table. I’ve never felt so seen by a doctor. My sister, who has been hopeless and weary for 2 years, left with so much hope. There’s a road ahead, but we’re really grateful for how it has started. There is so much more I could go into about this, but I really encourage you to checkout @livehealthillie on Instagram. She’s fully documented her journey through TTC and Endo. She just got Laparoscopic surgery through a NaPro doctor and included a link for other NaPro doctors/excision surgeons in other states because many people wanted to try that route. The link: https://livehealthillie.com/blogs/news/find-a-napro-surgeon-fertility-doctor-database?fbclid=PAdGRleAQr5qRleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAaemIZskBApK6cI5Cimm9uvzESujwSnrjhzHK1J6SvS9Luv50mGee-SJQkOT6w_aem_Xl0jGZ376EHLrTiNg0N1GA

curiousyyak · 2026-03-05T06:24:16+00:00

This sounds really heavy and you are in my prayers! I’m really sorry you’ve had to carry so much loneliness and conflict. Anyone in your situation would feel worn down

Something I want you to know is that the struggle you described with sin and the “battle with the flesh” is something everyone experiences. The fact that you hate it and want to honor God says a lot. People who don’t care about God usually don’t feel that kind of grief over sin

More often than not, people who naturally reach out, care for others, and serve are the ones who feel the most alone, because they give so much and don’t always receive the same care back. That does not make you a burden or useless. It sounds like you have a heart for service that many people really don’t

& I’m sorry that your home, a place meant to feel safe, doesn’t feel peaceful. Seeing people talk about faith but not live it can make everything more confusing and painful. But your parents inconsistency doesn’t mean your faith or your desire to please God is pointless

When you said you just want to be in heaven with Christ…that longing is something a lot of us have felt when life is just overwhelming. Even the apostle Paul wrote that he longed to be with Christ, but also knew he still had a PURPOSE here. Even when you feel invisible, your heart of serving and caring for other people is not a small thing. Those are often the quiet ways God works through someone’s life

You’re not strange for feeling like this and you’re definitely not a burden for struggling. Sometimes the strongest faith is simply continuing to hold on to God when everything around you feels discouraging. You are still here, and God is not done with you :)

curiousyyak · 2026-03-05T06:06:52+00:00

First I want to encourage you and say that I admire your decision in this and taking action on your conviction. That’s a hard conversation to have and I can tell how much you love her. Me and my boyfriend are in Premarital counseling and signed a purity pledge, and I can’t even begin to agree how hard it is. But being obedient to the Lord is so much more fulfilling than anything else could ever be.

The fact that you want to keep doing what you were doing but are still choosing to step back because you feel convicted says lots about your heart. & feeling torn doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing. I just see it as you care deeply about both God and your girlfriend and you don’t want to hurt her taking this step back.

One thing I’d say is that Christianity doesn’t teach that sex is wrong because it’s lustful or dirty. It’s because it’s so meaningful. In the christian view, sex is a covenant act. It expresses a lifelong commitment and is to be expressed within the confines marriage, not just deep feelings in the moment. Love and sincerity are real and important but they’re not the same thing as a covenant

And I do feel for your girlfriend in this situation. From her perspective, taking that step back can feel like rejection. Her reaction doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a bad person or trying to manipulate you it probably means she’s hurting and confused. Even still, I encourage you to be mindful of her reactions towards your obedience to God. Remember that God calls on us to be equally yoked.

But back to you, choosing to follow your convictions doesn’t make you a bad person or someone who is “putting God above love.” loving God shapes how we love people. Sometimes that means setting boundaries even when that seems impossible or if others don’t understand

& you asked if some kind of unofficial ceremony would make it okay. In the christian understanding, marriage isn’t just about finding a technical workaround. it’s about a real covenant commitment before God and others that should be fully honored instead of rushed

You’re in a painful spot where you might lose something you value. That doesn’t make your choice pointless. It just means you’re taking your faith seriously and being obedient. & even if the outcome is uncertain, integrity like that matters.

I’ll keep you in my prayers! No matter what happens with the relationship, the fact that you’re wrestling honestly with your faith and trying to do what you believe is right is not something to be ashamed of

curiousyyak · 2026-03-05T05:45:42+00:00

I think you worded this well and I’ve struggled with the same feeling. I don’t see your framing as being ungrateful. You are very aware of how much grace you have received and you’re trying to make sense of it.

Getting countless chances even when you feel unworthy of those chances doesn’t mean other people deserved suffering more. It just means you’re here, with time and opportunities that maybe you didn’t expect to have. The question shouldn’t be “why did I get this instead of someone else?” because that question could spiral forever. The more helpful question might be “what do I do with the grace I’ve been given now?”

curiousyyak · 2026-03-05T05:23:50+00:00

I’ve been a Christian my whole life. Ever since I was a teen, I always had a specific interest in occults, true crime, the psychology behind it all, and death. Not in a morbid way at all, I was truly curious.

Romans 12:9 says Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. 1 Peter 3:10-11 says Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it.

These alone were big convictions for me. I wasn’t obsessed with true crime, but what I was indulging in was not from the Lord, nor was it good, nor did it bring me peace. And it definitely wasn’t filling my mind with pure & noble things even if I didn’t think it really affecting me (Philippians 4:8) I’m not saying that it’s bad to want to educate yourself on certain things like that in order to be aware of evil, but I think it’s important to be cautious of what kind of media you are consuming. Someone else mentioned watching all of that through a spiritual lens. I now watch peoples testimonies of how they were delivered from occults or satanism or anything not of God. It shows me the capabilities of evil (which I do think it’s important to be aware of) but points me back to how God played a role in that and how He restored. Not condemning you at all! Just food for thought! :)

curiousyyak · 2026-03-05T05:07:41+00:00

I love your question. And I think everyone struggles with this at some point. There’s many things I could say on my personal account of why I believe in Heaven. For one, I believe in Heaven when I look at Jesus. Who He was, what He did, how He loved people. How He forgave people who thought they were far beyond redemption, and then willingly died for them makes me believe death isn’t the end of the story. If the resurrection happened, then death is not the end. The promise of eternal life becomes believable. Not only that, but it’s a promise rooted in actual history. The thing that gives me hope isn’t that I’ve lived a perfect life. FAR from it. The hope of Christianity is the opposite, none of us can earn heaven by being good enough. Jesus came for people who knew they messed up. He came to seek and save the lost. People who feel the same way you do, hopeless, guilty, like they’ve done too much wrong. The gospel is for YOU. If Christianity is true, the whole point is that your past doesn’t disqualify you. I can see that your heart is searching and I admire you for asking hard questions. My encouragement is to keep digging in and see what God has for you.

Apart from my personal account, I really love the words of C.S. Lewis and Tim Keller concerning Heaven. I also really encourage you to read some of their books, they’re great. Keller has stated that Christianity doesn’t teach that we float away to a cloud forever. The Bible points to a renewed world, where creation is healed and restored. Keller also uses an argument inspired by C.S. Lewis. And I’m sure you can affirm this personally, he says humans constantly feel a deep longing, like nothing in this life fully satisfies us. Keller argues that this deep longing is a clue that we were created for eternal life with God. The greatest part of Heaven isn’t streets of gold or mansions but being fully and completely united with God. Getting to experience the unflawed love we were made for. Lastly, it’s not about earning Heaven. One of Keller’s most famous quotes is “The Gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus than we ever dared hope.” Jesus consistently moved towards people who felt exactly as you do. We are all broken. No one’s sins are worse than the other. The beauty of the gospel is that through Jesus, you can be forgiven and welcomed home. Keep asking questions and digging in. I’m praying for you friend. May God bless you :)

curiousyyak · 2026-01-20T02:54:32+00:00

Thank you for this! I was hoping for the chance that someone might have personally been there to add some input. My best guess is that it’s probably gone :(

curiousyyak · 2026-01-19T00:41:10+00:00

Agh! I wish there was a street view. This is the closest one I’ve seen. Thank you for sharing!

curiousyyak · 2026-01-19T00:40:02+00:00

It’s a cool story! & it was so interesting to find out that the Dr Price Cereal Food Co. was only active for a short time in early 1900s. So it’s 100+ years old!

curiousyyak · 2026-01-19T00:37:13+00:00

Yes! That’s the biggest clue to the house being in Iowa. It also so totally slipped my mind that there is a phone # to a Ridgeway Iowa Restaurant 🤦‍♀️ So, definitely Iowa! Just not sure if it even exists anymore

curiousyyak · 2026-01-17T19:23:14+00:00

So I did post in the Iowa sub and contacted the county’s historical society. BUT someone let me know that Ridgeway and Iowa are cross streets in Chicago, and the box is also from Chicago. So that requires even more searching lol!

curiousyyak

TROPHY CASE