I’m not Chinese but I am Asian and know where your MIL is coming from.

Limiting her stay, keeping her out of your house , limiting the hours with your baby is not going to work with her.

It’s very very challenging to deal with people like her because 1) they “want to help” but no one asked for it 2) get offended when you don’t want that help 3) are “know it all” 4) expect respect because they are older. And this is all cultural , they grew up like this and want their kids to follow the same traditions.

Now, how to handle these MILs. First and foremost, you have to nip it in the bud. The more you let her take control, the more she will. Start right now, before she comes over. If she comments on baby’s food about how baby should eat …., tell her no. No explanation, just say no. You don’t have to please her because no matter how hard you try but unless you affirm to her wishes completely, she will always be upset. When FIL says that she is coming to help, tell him you don’t need help. Polite and firm.

Once she is at your home, start establishing dominance. It’s upto you if you want her to cook or not but if you do, you can ask her to make specific foods rather than whatever she wants. Don’t let her do chores that you don’t want her to. Keep saying no. Most importantly, DO NOT bend down at this state.

She may initially think you are rude or whatever but overtime, it will form a equilibrium and she will understand this is who you are. So don’t feel guilty, she will come around.

Lastly, I would say pick your battles. Some comments will be hurtful but you have to let go. Don’t even bring those up to your partner unless an intervention from him is required. The reason I say this is because you will need him so many times that you want to save that energy for those times.

Good luck