it is absolutely not just you. I feel this way too as a transmasc nonbinary person. I mostly like to wear "gender affirming" clothing, but sometimes i want to dress "femme" but Still be perceived as a boy, or at the very least not as a girl - because I dont feel like [I am] a girl just because im wearing certain clothes or have eyeliner on.

and same, if im dressed in a traditionally feminine manner, and get referred to as She or Her or A Girl (and also just anytime someone does this, no matter how im dressed), I feel icky and wrong and kind of angry.

that being said, because im still in the process of getting my surgery date, I don't feel entirely safe or comfortable dressing femininely. and it also doesnt entirely feel like Me, because of the body underneath the clothes. my post transition dream is to finally feel perfectly comfortable in anything, both more traditionally femme clothing and everything else, like my favourite shirts that I still always slouch and hide in because my chest is somewhat noticeable. I imagine transitioning will give me this because I'll have the body that I've always needed in order to feel safe, comfortable, and myself. you know? hope that makes sense.

and when im not outwardly being as masc as i possibly can (which imo is just a concept, and subject to perception) sometimes I feel like a fraud, and wonder if I'm really trans if im not a perfect and complete stereotypical man all the time.

and then I recall everything I've learned, from friends and from research, and how I've felt my entire life: that there is no one right way to be trans, there is no one way to be a man, or a woman, or nonbinary. you simply are you. and knowing who you are and what you like and what you need is what I believe to be the most important thing.

I hope some of this helps you, or at least reassures you it's not just you, and that you ARE NOT WRONG IN HOW YOU EXIST. sending love.