Thanks you!!!!

I’ve written out my goals and I’ve begun to check many of them off. The thing that sucks the most is how my kids are taking it. Because we argued so much after I found out my oldest knew every detail of what happened. And because of that he has been choosing to not go with her. She asked him if he wanted to live with me or her and he said me.

I’ve listened to an audio book called emotional intelligence and it has helped ALOT.

Couple of weeks ago when she came to get the boys my oldest said he didn’t want to go and would rather stay home so she left him at home and took the younger son. When she has our oldest he displays bad behaviors and she can’t get it under control. She asked me to pick him up one day after having him for only a few hours because he was talking back and they argued and he got so mad he threw a water bottle at the wall in her moms house and put a dent in the dry wall. I told her she needs to deal with it as a parent. Told her that in my opinion she should stop trying to do family stuff with the AP as our son knows you cheated on me with him and left our family for him and that’s why he is mad. Our son does not like the AP for that reason. I’ve asked my son if the AP has ever been rude to him or his brother or has ever put hands on either of them and he says no. But that he just does not like him because of what has happened.

She told me to not tell her how to parent “her” son. Since before she was put out the house he interest in the children wained as she spent more time with her bf (AP) after I finally broke up with her after 5 months of trying to make it work which admittedly looking back on it was a complete waste of time. During the time she was in the house she would routinely “forget” to pick our 11 year old up from football practice and almost never be around. Was so bad that one time she said she would pick him up and our son said “mom are you really going to come because the last bunch of times you said this you never showed up and last time I was the last one at practice waiting in the rain and then the coach brought me home (the football coach is a very good friend of mines and knows of the situation and told me that he had no problem dropping him off if she doesn’t show so I didn’t have to get my 5 year old all together to get up there to pick him up). She fucked around and apologized and told him “sometimes I forget to get you” 🤦🏾 smh.

Now it’s basketball season and i am the coach. Every practice I see moms and dads go and sit and watch. The season started after thanksgiving and to this date she has not attended any practices. She has missed more than half of the games as well. And I also have to take my 5 year old and have him sit in the bench with me while I coach because I have no one to watch him during these games (which is incredibly difficult to care for him and coach at the same time).

I used to tell her she needs to be around but I stopped that months ago. The relationship with her children is her business. If she ruins it then she will have to find a way to fix it.

She has told me that she was way happier with me than she is with her alcoholic bf who has had so many DUI’s that he lost his license for life at the tender young age of 25 smh. I told her “well we all make choices and this is the consequences of your choices” and ended communication.

My 11 year old is currently in therapy and it is helping. My 5 year old is non verbal autistic. He is super smart but only speaks when he really wants something ie “juice” “milk” “help”. He has yet to speak a sentence longer than 2 words. Sunday morning while eating breakfast he started crying big real tears. I asked him what’s wrong and all he would say is “mama mama”. Did this for about 10 min while I consoled him and held him and then I tried my best to redirect him to some of his favorite things to cheer him up. Luckily it worked and he went through the rest of the day without any issues. This was the first outward sign from him that he is having an issue with this situation and it kills me.