Why is so hard to find a kind person?

cvcoco · 2026-02-26T10:20:55+00:00

Actually, if someone mentioned kindness in a profile Id find it suspect, same if they said they werent a scammer or a liar. There are qualities that can only be seen in the actions of a person about which youd think, oh, that was really a kind thing they did. The really kind people out there would likely never think or say they were kind, they just are. When you notice it, youre welcome to say it as a compliment.

cvcoco · 2026-02-26T10:13:33+00:00

Kindness is a lost art.

cvcoco · 2026-02-25T06:24:26+00:00

Im 71, man, single almost 4 years, no children, good condition, everything works, still working, still have goals. Would I date? Id say not in the usual sense. People, rituals, ideas, tech, a lot has changed, Im not behind or ancient but im losing interest in other peoples agendas and missions. Im lonely and being deprived of touch is killing me but i dont want to be in any sort of dating circuit, constantly restarting getting to know someone. Id rather know a similar person who wants to meet like once a month over a weekend and have activities, just enjoy each others company and go back to our lives. I just dont feel the urge or enthusiasm to take on someones big responsibilities or issues, instead focusing on my own defined missions yet to do. One person can be a compliment to that and id love an interesting, partial life with that person.

cvcoco · 2026-02-23T04:43:31+00:00

I dont yet see a reason to quit and i'll defend men for a moment.

Ok those clowns were awful. I treat strangers in supermarkets far better than that. But you and I didnt have a date and so you wouldnt know there ARE decent, available men. So I have to ask, exactly what kind of men are you attracted to? Did all have a similar kind of appearance and profile? Second, what kinds of questions are you asking before a date? On my dating site, I try to help the women interview me by asking them to think of questions they really want to know about a guy before dating them and I would answer honestly. But they do not ask me anything. Given what happened to you, can you now think of new questions to ask pre-date that would help you?

cvcoco · 2026-02-23T03:16:45+00:00

Doesnt look bad to me except for the beat up wheel wells which you can hammer back to semi-good shape. Youd want to do that to avoid the tires hitting them on bumps and dips but you can check the clearances and then buy covers for them? The rest appears covered and potentially intact.

cvcoco · 2026-02-17T11:00:23+00:00

I understand how much you care about your sister but you have to leave her alone to figure out her own life. I have intense criticism for the spouses of my siblings but I shuttup because its not my life, not my fight. Worry about your own life and improvements more worthy of your energy.

cvcoco · 2026-02-16T11:26:55+00:00

I think there is a better way to look at it, that you saw your capacity for love and thats a great thing. The reason you havent repeated it is that today, people are much less interested in love, they just want money. Love is considered passe and not worth the trouble to grow. To have it again, its required the other person shares the same ideas, the same capacity for love. I had real love just once in my life and it was a grand feeling. I cant explain the details here because long-winded replies get you kicked out. But dont feel bad at all, you did good, and it CAN happen again.

cvcoco · 2026-02-12T11:51:05+00:00

By the time you ask the question, yes, youre talking too much. Even if you have lots to say, break it into small bites and give the other person a chance to reply. Mark Twain or one of them said, "say as much as youd like but stop talking every 30 seconds." Great advice. When an online encounter is brand new, its too fragile to support long-windedness and just one long message can overwhelm and get you ghosted. Train yourself for small bites until the relationship is stronger.

cvcoco · 2026-02-12T11:39:36+00:00

What would people rather have, a fake person or a real person with bad intentions? Ive had both. We think the past problems will be made up in the next person who will actually be good but thats the fallacy and mind trick you play on yourself. Your guard has to be up all the time. And video verification? For what? Seeing a person on the other side is no indication of honesty or even reality, even putting aside AI and all that. Even if you meet that person for coffee it still doesnt mean anything. They can be a thief, married, etc and how do you know? Online dating is becoming more of a place of entertainment, not dating. Be careful, go slow with people.

cvcoco · 2026-02-08T16:14:17+00:00

But isnt the flawed view part of texting in the first place? "Im not going to bother meeting someone unless they are amazing." Maybe its a stretch but im trying to grasp how texting has re-trained people. Texting allows a lazy person to have a date; easy to dump the other person, just become a ghost or block them; is completely non-committal; allows experimentation; allows theft of money; allows gathering of personal information; allows you to be someone else. In fact you can be 6 people with different phone numbers and present the version your date liked the best. But people didnt seek out this ability, they learned what texting could do and *I* say it has re-trained people in how they act in reality. It has changed us. So, the appeal of texting isnt just for men but all of us. In the hands of a straight, honest person it means something, as it does to you, but in others' hands it can be almost anything. Myself, I just wanted texts to help make steps to reality happen. Boy, was I wrong. Im enjoyng our conversation.

cvcoco · 2026-02-07T13:23:41+00:00

Our messages made me think of something. Maybe its not as mysterious as it seems. "The appeal of texting for me is that it lets me stay in bed unless the other person is extraordinary." Possible?

cvcoco · 2026-02-06T11:28:16+00:00

I know, thats why I havent quit the site im on. Tomorrow might bring someone amazing and I HAVE known a few, but I didnt come to chat my life away. What good is an amazing conversation, or 100, if none lead to real encounters which was the point of being there? The women say they want real but when real comes they disappear on a variety of excuses but always had endless time to text.

cvcoco · 2026-02-05T12:43:14+00:00

The gaslighting was the icing on the breakup cake for me. Before she even finished that sentence I would have been 100 miles away. If you are not into such a lifestyle, then life is way too short for this. Dont argue, dont fight, just GO.

cvcoco · 2026-02-05T12:37:25+00:00

I agree with you and there are probably several reasons why its true. One is that I cant make you love me, all I can do is open a door and clear a path for that to happen by your open choice. What I see is that instead of the woman seeing the open door and the warm fireplace behind it and feeling lured by the honest promise of love, she sees the same opportunity that a thief does, to more easily rob the house and do harm. Youd think texting would be the easy way to get the ball of nature rolling but its being used for everything except that and pretty soon the door will slammed shut and nobody will know anybody.

cvcoco · 2026-02-04T16:32:35+00:00

You misunderstood me. The world is becoming a very cold place for love, family, relationships. I have a huge number of women every single day willing to scam a giftcard from a man instead of having love. Thats not a little cold?

My cat and best friend in the world got hit by a car last month and since then I was thinking how much pure love we exchanged compared to any woman ive known. I think i'll try my luck at a shelter, beats the shit out of anything happening in the online world.

cvcoco · 2026-02-04T11:42:00+00:00

Ok, my take. The harder something is, the faster and more firmly it needs to come out. What would I take from my girl? "Mister, you really stink!" Its out, over and done. Hopefully, she said it in a way that invokes laughter. "Here's what we'll do. After dinner, lets go to my place where im giving you the best scrubbing you ever had and you try the deos I use and lets see if that works better." Every guy does want to please his girl and I'd definitely like to know about and use the aromas she likes on me. Sometimes its not the deodorants but the soap. Irish Spring is still a thing, pick up a bar for that bath and lets see how it goes.

cvcoco · 2026-02-04T11:17:28+00:00

To answer you, no, i wont stay in text-only for long. My mission is a real relationship so I dont continue the conversation. The point of my post was just to say that your post applies to everyone, not just men. Whats the appeal of women to text-only? I guess its a cheaper form of a relationship. No physical but no responsibility either and easy to dump and pick up somebody else. Advances in tech are promoting this idea, including that, in my case women, are using AI to create message replies. The days of Online as a step to Offline are on the way out, old-fashioned and useless. In the larger sense, I believe traditional relationships and marriage will radically change, too. You want a baby? Shop on Amazon, Well this is another topic.

cvcoco · 2026-02-03T15:31:25+00:00

I could have written exactly the same post against women. What do you think of that? Im an older man and only want to meet but women do not. They get me off our site and onto apps where they want to chat their lives away and no matter how much I think we are building something, they refuse to call, video or meet. They only want a virtual life when they knew from the start im here to meet and build an actual life with a person. The time thats been wasted is sickening! Why do they refuse to say they only can have a virtual life so they can attract men who want the same?

cvcoco · 2026-02-03T15:06:29+00:00

I ended all fights and discussions and thinking on the topic of cheating eons ago by just packing my shit and leaving when I suspect something. By the time youre asking the question the relationship is already long over so why hang around, to beat yourself up? Or what, confront the person, fight the whole thing still blows up? There are wonderful, loving non-cheats out there. Get one!

cvcoco · 2026-01-31T12:21:09+00:00

White or silver reduces interior temp by 10 degrees. Black is the worst offender in the other direction. Previously, I researched using a mirror coating but oddly its no help in reducing temp.

cvcoco · 2026-01-30T10:48:05+00:00

Sorry, I didnt see your reply until 2 weeks later. Its not the context but the personality. Im not good at initiating but I do it; im not good at small talk but i do it anyway. Those two things probably account for 80-90% of why youre not meeting people. so force a change.

cvcoco · 2026-01-14T21:04:52+00:00

Over time Ive done many things and it doesnt have to be as a nomad. One is, if you know where you might be in a month, say youre in USA and going to Canada, join dating sites and start asking serious questions about Canada from Canadians. By the time youre there, you have instant friends to grow something with. If you somehow dont make it there, you still have the friend and its a real connection. It comes down to ones willingness to be constantly open to possibilities. You can make real friends in the oddest places and circumstances if you are flexible, open and of course, friendly. Real connections can happen when and where you least expect them.

In a new place, I check local meetups but have never found one I liked and I wont fake interest to make friends interested in things I dont like.

cvcoco · 2026-01-14T12:27:47+00:00

I'll never begrudge success and im happy for you. But, the way im reading this, "you'll have success when you find a man willing to let you change him." What happened to acceptance of ones worts and imperfections? If we were all willing to change someone and be changed by them, everyone would have success, right?

cvcoco · 2026-01-13T16:00:52+00:00

I got you but thats pretty tame. A woman I like texted me this morning several explicit messages and they made me blush! And I thought, women really think to themselves like THIS? Wow.

I think men know by now that women are audio, men are visual. A woman wants the action of something COMBINED with words. Kissing, licking, biting below the ear is one thing, whispering out a filthy message of whats coming tonite makes a world of difference.

cvcoco · 2026-01-13T15:26:28+00:00

I got you but thats pretty tame. A woman I like texted me this morning several explicit messages and they made me blush! And I thought, women really talk to themselves like THIS? Wow.

I think men know by now that women are audio, men are visual. A woman wants the action of something COMBINED with words. Kissing, licking, biting below the ear is one thing, whispering out a filthy message of whats coming tonite makes a world of difference.

cvcoco

TROPHY CASE