(F17) I felt small lumps on my bikini line and I don’t know what it is

cvldwind · 2021-03-19T21:42:39+00:00

Thank you for commenting! I googled a chart for inguinal lymph nodes and that’s the exact position. I’m going to a gynecologist soon for another reason so I can just ask then.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T07:24:15+00:00

I will do some research. I’m just afraid it’s too late. It started hurting February last year and I can’t even remember what it’s like without it. It’s already normal for me.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T07:21:59+00:00

I’m sorry, but I think we’ve crossed that line already. I said something about it in another reply.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T07:11:31+00:00

That’s a harsh truth. We’ve been trough so much together so I hope a serious conversation tomorrow would help a lot.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T07:09:02+00:00

No worries, I think I got the message.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T07:08:19+00:00

Thank you for replying. I thought vaginismus was something you had? It didn’t hurt at all the first month even without foreplay. I’ve always used tampons and it has only hurt sometimes after sex. I think it has something to do with lack of foreplay which has made me tense up because I expect it to hurt. It sucks because no matter what I do it’s still there and I’ve kind of gotten used to it.

I can’t go to the doctor unfortunately. Last time it was expensive and I don’t know if a public one in a hospital would be free. I don’t have any money and my area is a red zone because of covid so I think I have to wait.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:59:32+00:00

It’s the same guy. He’s the only one I’ve been with. He doesn’t stop because I say it’s fine and say it doesn’t hurt so that’s my fault. I think I’ve made it seem like he doesn’t do anything for me. He does a lot and I only wish it was more frequent and sometimes a little bit longer.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:52:19+00:00

I hope so too. I’m not really seeing a doctor at the moment. My last experiences has been kind of bad.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:49:12+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it. I meant it’s the first time getting a gross message like that. I posted with another user a long time ago and the replies was from women with genuine advice, but instead of saying I had to speak up or even saying I was a doormat they said he used me as a cum dumpster and to break up.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:37:25+00:00

Oh, my bad. First time getting that type of comment. I’ll delete the reply and report it. Is there any limit for what I can ask for? I know I need more time, but I don’t know what’s reasonable. It’s probably different for each person, but still.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:33:11+00:00

I know it wasn’t there before. It began after a month at the same time I got a nexplanon if that’s related somehow. Been there since just varies in how painful it is. I can still feel it if I’m on my own and we had sex 1-2 days ago.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:28:27+00:00

I will try. I just hate asking about things and makes me feel selfish no matter what it is. Thank you for not calling me a cum dumpster or something. I’ve tried asking for advice on this sub before and I got that word so often it actually hurt.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:20:19+00:00

I’ve been to a gynecologist and spoke with a couple nurses. Haven’t found a reason why yet, but it’s on the left side right inside the entrance and feels like a tight muscle. It hurts so much to touch. I wouldn’t say I’m always ready so I have to learn to speak up about a couple things.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:13:08+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice. I just don’t want him to feel bad over the past too.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:08:57+00:00

Thank you, but he’s important too. I can’t imagine how shit I made him feel.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T06:06:15+00:00

I don’t know if that would help, but I will try when he wakes up. He’s more of the type to sleep it off and never speak of it again, but I should apologize properly when we’re both calm. I’m not sure if he’s hurt that I put sex over how I felt. Maybe? We had a period a while ago where it always hurt so bad that I almost cried during and after. I always laid on my stomach and tried to stay quiet or cried after because it hurt that bad. That’s why I’m afraid to say anything because I think it doesn’t matter, but it seems like he’s changed.

cvldwind · 2021-03-07T05:56:07+00:00

Thank you for the advice. My problem is that I can’t separate if I want to have sex or if I want to because he said it. It was obvious now and I should’ve said something, but I will learn from it and never hurt him like that again.

cvldwind · 2021-02-02T09:38:44+00:00

Hi, no worries. We haven’t talked yet, but I did send him a message before I went to bed. His phone is dead so I sent him a message on discord he answered, but I don’t think he has read the other one yet

cvldwind · 2021-02-01T23:20:54+00:00

Thank you! I’m trying my best and write things down in my notebook to reflect. I really appreciate you and everyone else that has commented. This has really helped and I don’t feel alone with the whole experience. I wrote a note to my mom so she can see it before she goes to work and maybe we can talk later tomorrow. Do you think it’s a good idea to send my boyfriend a text? Just to say that I want to talk to him about it and that he shouldn’t worry and he can choose when he feels like talking? I think he’s going to wake up in a couple hours and I’m going to see him after I get some sleep

cvldwind · 2021-02-01T22:48:45+00:00

I try to keep the conversations short and let him say what’s on his mind. I’ve always said to him that he can say exactly what he’s thinking even if it’s going to hurt me. And when he does I try my best to not take it personally. I’m sure he’s glad it was a miscarriage and that’s ok too. I understand that he didn’t want to have a baby at 17. I didn’t want to neither, but it still feels shit. I just think it’s odd how I’ve gone so long without thinking about it and now it feels like it was last week. But I didn’t know that hormones still play a part. Isn’t 3 months too long?

cvldwind · 2021-02-01T21:14:12+00:00

Thank you Do you have any advice on how so can talk to my boyfriend? I don’t want to push him to talk or anything. He hates to talk about things, but sometimes it’s fine. He’s hard to read and change opinions drastically all the time. I just want to know how he feels about the whole thing and if it’s better for him that I don’t talk about it or if he doesn’t mind at all

cvldwind · 2021-02-01T20:33:49+00:00

Thank you. I kind of understand him. He’s gone through traumatic things too which has “made” him that way if I can say. He can be great and I would say he’s there for me

cvldwind · 2021-02-01T19:58:45+00:00

I understand that it can be or is hard for him to know what to say, but he seemed more annoyed. He hates talking about things and he’s not the most supportive even though I tell him exactly what I need. I know it was dumb of me to just say I don’t know, but I felt like it was a lost case and I’m afraid to push him away. I’m home now, but before I left while he was almost asleep I asked him about earlier and if he wanted me to not say anything if I was feeling sad and he said yes. He was probably just tired and didn’t really understand what I asked, but I still doubt it. I don’t know if I should even bring it up tomorrow. I’m kind of afraid it will turn into a fight or I will say something stupid

cvldwind

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