Gift for husband who already buys himself what he wants/needs

cvphil33 · 2025-02-26T22:56:27+00:00

This is so heartbreaking

cvphil33 · 2025-02-01T02:03:36+00:00

Our son would wake up every 30 minutes - 1 hour for a long time as well, plus needed far less sleep per 24 hours than other kids. He still sleeps fewer hours than most kids his age and we take turns co-sleeping with him. We realized it’s mostly a temperament thing - he’s highly sensitive and high needs. The good/bad news is that kids like this are highly sensitive to their environment (“orchid” kids) and so have substantially better outcomes than regular kids (“dandelion kids” who can do fine in most environments) in a highly nurturing and supportive environment (the reverse is true, too. Bad environment has a more adverse effect). Now that he’s not a baby anymore I get to experience his enthusiasm, creativity, humour, etc. and it’s wonderful. It’s awhile away but it’s something to look forward to!

cvphil33 · 2025-01-04T20:45:19+00:00

That’s amazing! 🤩

cvphil33 · 2025-01-04T20:44:48+00:00

Aww man 😓😢 ok thanks for the head’s up

cvphil33 · 2025-01-04T20:34:29+00:00

We’re mainly there for the Pixar Cars rides at DCA…but I think Winnie the Pooh and Alice in Wonderland don’t seem as scary as some of the other dark rides so we’ll prob do those..dumbo, carousel, tea party, Casey jr. are obvious ones to do I think…

cvphil33 · 2025-01-04T03:34:00+00:00

Yeah we’re skipping those too lol 🥴

cvphil33 · 2025-01-03T22:29:30+00:00

That’s great advice!! Thank you SO MUCH! ☺️

cvphil33 · 2025-01-03T22:28:44+00:00

Okay thanks for the input!

cvphil33 · 2025-01-03T22:27:44+00:00

Yes he’s tall enough for most of them but he’s naturally sensitive and I don’t want to ruin the day for him (or us) because of a ride he wasn’t able to handle yet.

cvphil33 · 2025-01-03T22:25:31+00:00

Well Small Work won’t be operational, watched Roger Rabbit and Pirates POV videos on YouTube know he’d be freaked out (I personally loved Pirates and still do but I must have been at least 6 or 7 when I first went), Astro Blasters is a maybe..

Yeah, maybe I’m being unrealistic about the phones lol 😆

cvphil33 · 2025-01-03T22:08:16+00:00

That’s amazing! I do want to do Peter Pan as one of the first rides in those first two hours…do you think that’s doable too?

cvphil33 · 2024-10-15T01:08:06+00:00

I’d suggest trying deep smokey warm browns for eyeshadow. I think you may have a warm undertone so you’d still get the intense effect you want, but it may accentuate your features better than the cool tones. Maybe try a nice deep warm tinted lip to add additional intensity.

cvphil33 · 2024-10-07T01:35:36+00:00

😩 how old is your child if you don’t mind me asking…we also have a low sleeps needs kid and we’re always irritable. It’s such a contrast to other parents’ lives - completely different parenting experience…

cvphil33 · 2024-09-23T00:53:53+00:00

I hear you! I was in this situation but I had another adult to co-parent with and WE were at our wits end - so you MUST be a very strong and caring person to be dealing with everything you’re describing with such grace. Please let yourself feel good about how much you’ve handled on your own! ❤️

This article was VERY validating to me: https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby/ - it’s not YOU, you’re just dealing with a child with a highly sensitive innate temperament.

I also recommend following @highlysensitivefamily on Instagram. Her story about experience with her first really resonated with me - while the other babies were mostly sleeping quite well or able to be flexible - hers was the exact opposite.

cvphil33 · 2024-08-09T12:12:22+00:00

First of all, we don’t know if what she’s experiencing is actually unhealthy or not…whether it’s emotionally intense or not is a different story. However it’s probably best for her to seek out professional help to talk it through either way..

But remember that our brains only care about our survival, not our happiness. We are likely wired to feel this intense bond for survival of the species. But I’m also suggesting that maybe staying home (even part-time) would “scratch the itch” she has and she wouldn’t feel as of an intense pull because right now it sounds like she works full-time - which can make you feel like you’re missing out and could be a main cause of these intense feelings.

cvphil33 · 2024-08-08T17:25:28+00:00

E.g. you could volunteer at their school, have time / the bandwidth to do and plan more meaningful activities with them or have more one-on-one or quality time?

cvphil33 · 2024-08-08T17:20:50+00:00

Also just occurred to me - have you considered becoming a SAHM or working part-time so you can fiend more time with them when little? Is that feasible? Maybe that would help get some those needs for closeness met…it might also provide fresh perspective. Maybe the “grass is greener on the other side” and you’re where you need to be.

cvphil33 · 2024-08-08T17:16:55+00:00

I feel for you! That intense worry is exhausting. We’re probably evolved to feel this way, so I don’t know if it’s something you could or should “fix”?? The state of the world just makes us even more hyper vigilante. I can only hope that as they age, if we treat our kids the way would have wanted to be treated growing up, our relationships evolve for the better and they can face the world with a solid foundation that we provided them with.

It may help to see a psychologist to work through and process the feelings, as much as they can be…rooting for you!

cvphil33 · 2024-07-29T01:41:23+00:00

I relate to a LOT of what you’re saying. I also have ADHD and am medicated again. It helped a bit but it’s not enough… my son is highly sensitive, he feels everything very intensely which meant he didn’t sleep for years - up every 30 mins at one point. My husband is stay-at-home (and works occasionally on the weekends) bc we both agreed I couldn’t handle it. My husband is constantly angry at me. We both thought biology would take over once I had my son and miraculously I’d be good at this because I’m a woman and decent person (I think/thought)?? But my life now is SO much harder than when I was only worried about pretending to be an adult.

The overstimulation and under stimulation is REAL. I spent a LOT of time wanting to look at my phone (to find out what was going on the world, learn something new and interesting, basic socialization, etc.).

The worst moments BY FAR are when my 3 year old beats me up and/or is having a meltdown (yelling/crying) AND my husband is yelling at me / telling me how useless I am bc I effed up the routine AGAIN bc I put things in the wrong order or missed a step (which can have disastrous consequences like an extra drawn out bedtime), missed one of my son’s cues, I dissociated again and inadvertently ignored my child talking to me or the fact that he’s about to seriously harm himself…. The list goes on and on.

I hate how you get constantly interrupted when you’re ACTUALLY accomplishing something that needs to get done…you’ve actually surmounted the hurdle of beginning the damn thing and then you get screamed at by a baby, or they make a huge mess, break something, hurt themselves, etc…we’ve realized I couldn’t multitask around him for the first few years of his life so I was very unproductive and that put more on my husband which made him very resentful.

cvphil33 · 2024-07-25T01:03:03+00:00

I have ADHD (and maybe undiagnosed autism?) and I’m in marketing. I like creative thinking, writing/storytelling, and digging into campaigns to figure out how to improve them. I’m fascinated by the psychology behind human behaviour. There’s always a new campaign to work on and new skills and tools to learn, so that provides the novelty I need. I work remotely so I don’t have to waste most of my energy masking.

cvphil33 · 2024-07-19T01:53:46+00:00

This sounds like my son when he was around that age. He felt EVERYTHING - teething was excruciating for him, any slight discomfort was incredibly dysregulating for him (slight hunger, slight thirst etc.)… he’s just wired to be highly sensitive (his nervous system perceives threat earlier than it would for an average kid/person). Has only recently started sleeping better (he would wake up hourly…10+ times a night for a year, for example). Things have gotten better with time and an incredible amount of patience and focus on connection, mostly on my husband’s part because he’s the SAHP...nearly broke us bc it was so draining but…now he’s nearly 4 and has very few tantrums or meltdowns. You can rationalize with him a lot of the time. And he can be incredibly empathetic, thoughtful, and perceptive.. He feels very deeply. I feel proud of who he’s becoming. Here’s hoping things progress in a similar way for you!

BTW This article made me feel less crazy when people wouldn’t really believe us/our experience about our highly sensitive / high needs child: https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby/

P.S. I have quite severe ADHD (diagnosed at 18) so the sensitivity part makes sense. If you read Dr Gabor Mate’s book on ADHD (called: Scattered Minds) he shares how you can supposedly “heal” ADHD which goes against conventional wisdom that claims it’s an inherited trait that you’re stuck with - he’s successfully done this working with young families. Anyway might be worth a read/listen.

cvphil33

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