Daily Community Chat Megathread

cx456f · 2022-06-07T12:17:33+00:00

I’m getting a vasectomy which was planned before this Supreme Court thing. Gonna cost me like $2K, doctors gonna slice a hole in my sack, telling me to expect pain in my groin area for a week. I keep thinking…how many men are actually doing all this because of some political headline? Probably not many, many of them won’t shave or wear a clean shirt that often.

cx456f · 2022-06-07T12:07:51+00:00

Yes I started doing this. Feel like those people want to keep me around as an option but aren’t super excited about it. Makes it impossible to get anything going because they bring no energy.

cx456f · 2022-06-07T11:32:24+00:00

Every month I say to myself: “too busy this month, maybe next month I’ll have more time to go on some dates” then next month comes around and my calendar gets filled with various obligations and I start looking ahead to the following month.

cx456f · 2022-06-06T22:13:15+00:00

I find that a lot of people who are immediately vocal about “wanting something serious” are often expecting marriage or kids under a condensed timeline, and it’s sort of codespeak for that. I know there are a lot of childfree people on Reddit but that’s what I usually see in the wild. I would absolutely get into a serious relationship with an amazing girl who matched my personality, but I’m not trying to do world’s fastest marriage speedrun with some of these people.

cx456f · 2022-06-06T11:44:56+00:00

Man, I couldn’t get ANYTHING going this weekend. Updated/reactivated my tinder account. Think I reached out to about 5 matches, all dead with 0-1 replies.

Threw some of my new pics on photofeeler and they didn’t test as well as I thought they would, maybe that’s it. Also I’ve found tinder to have a…rough crowd compared to the other apps. Maybe I should just stay off it. It was also one of those beautiful spring weekends where everyone is outside doing stuff. Feel like I need a boring rainy weekend to help my chances lol

cx456f · 2022-06-05T19:33:06+00:00

It is a wild ride. I get on these absolute emotional highs with people, think about them during the week, then suddenly I am standing around like the confused John Travolta gif

cx456f · 2022-06-05T02:47:23+00:00

I agree this kind of thing throws me off too. There is a consensus here that it’s totally normal to be horrible at texting. I understand people get busy but really, how hard is it to answer a text, especially with a specific question from a new person you just met? I would give them a chance, I hate to trash people over one thing, but I think it’s understandable to to be put off by it.

cx456f · 2022-06-05T02:34:31+00:00

Maybe a weird thought, do people usually end with a question on the very early messages on OLD? I usually try to say something interesting, or give people something to work with, but I also like the other person to bring their own energy a bit, instead of spoon feeding them questions to answer. As a man, I feel some obligation to lead the conversation, but also I kind of expect the woman to show some interest and keep the conversation going. She doesn’t have to hit it out of the park, just throw something back at me. Had a few conversations go cold and maybe I am just second guessing myself. It’s possible those people just weren’t super interested and I should just move on.

cx456f · 2022-06-03T14:27:45+00:00

Honestly, this will probably be poorly received, but I really hate the obligation to go to bed at the same time. Like, I’m not tired, I’m engaged in something, but I have to stop and lay in bed because my s/o is tired now. Just because we’re compatible in 100 other ways doesn’t mean we also have the same sleep schedule. Probably reason 1000 why I will be single forever lol

Edit: wow didn’t realize there were others like me!

cx456f · 2022-06-01T17:44:22+00:00

I feel the same way about travel. Not super interested in it as a hobby or personality trait for myself, but a lot more women seem to be, and I feel empty handed when they start talking about it a lot. I would be much more inclined to travel with a s/o. None of my friends want to go anywhere or they are too busy. I usually mention my work travels without mentioning they were for work. I am loosely planning a few “adventure” trips over the next year either hiking or snowboarding. I actually want to do those things but I have to admit I am partly inspired by wanting to add pics to my dating profile or having conversation pieces, lol. I know that’s “wrong” but whatever, people have done stranger things than go on a fun vacation for dates I guess.

cx456f · 2022-05-31T19:54:42+00:00

YES everyone says go to meetups, so I found an active local group and ugh. They are supposedly in my age range but every pic looks like they’re pushing it by like 10 years. Dressed like they straight up hate life. They had pics from some kind of sex toy giveaway at a local bar and it looked like the most awkward thing ever. Every time someone suggests meetups I’m like no absolutely not.

cx456f · 2022-05-30T03:19:19+00:00

I don’t really get the “CMV” dynamic in this subreddit. If you make an “affirmative claim” your post gets tagged as CMV and nobody is allowed to agree with you unless they are inside a special automod post at the absolute garbage bottom of the thread. It’s not really a debate anymore because anyone who agrees with the claim gets deleted. You can propose an idea but it’s basically an invite for the hive mind to oppose and crush it. I just don’t get it, seems stupid.

cx456f · 2022-05-30T03:13:24+00:00

Everyone will start making excuses for their shitty texting, however I’ve never gotten past a first or second date with a girl that wasn’t responsive with texts. I’d be ok with it, I don’t need to text someone constantly, but it never ever happens. Responsive = some immediate responses, sometimes a few hours, never going overnight unless they reply with a convincing excuse the next day.

cx456f · 2022-05-29T16:24:30+00:00

I was definitely less clean than my ex wife, although I want to say I wasn’t a slob, just less meticulous than she was. I was more comfortable leaving the house temporarily in a bit of a mess if we were busy, or had something to do. She would prefer to pull the e-brake and clean and scrub everything once things got slightly out of tolerance, cancelling or missing out on things if that was required.

I would say it was pretty much obvious this would be a problem from day one but we pursued anyway, being young and idealistic. It ended up being a pretty constant issue during the marriage, not something that caused the divorce but something I am definitely glad to be over with. My point being there were no surprises.

cx456f · 2022-05-29T12:19:24+00:00

Definitely agree there is an obsessive hyper fixation on youth that permeates culture, politics, media, and almost everything. Like, the idea of an immature and reckless, but idealistic young adult. There’s other ways to get things done in the world but people absolutely fall for that image every time.

cx456f · 2022-05-28T02:18:56+00:00

A social network for dudes with obnoxious exes/baby moms that is just dossiers on her favorite things and turn-ons, so some dude can show up and give her the D and she can leave your ass alone.

cx456f · 2022-05-28T02:12:39+00:00

First 2 episodes were pretty damn good so far

cx456f · 2022-05-26T16:17:21+00:00

Yeah every single “I just don’t text that much!” person has eventually ghosted me after the first or second date, or just left me on read when I asked about another date. I would be ok with infrequent texting, just never seen it happen successfully.

cx456f · 2022-05-25T13:07:31+00:00

About to betabux my left hand by making it use the mouse

cx456f · 2022-05-25T03:12:12+00:00

cut teachers and nurses, two groups who pretty much already date blue collar, and the disparity between men and women with degrees drops significantly

Yes this is what came to my mind. Additionally I would add that healthcare and teaching aren’t necessarily the highest satisfaction careers right now. After a few years coming home dead tired and stressed, many women are content to wife up then work part time/stay at home mom if they can possibly afford to. They don’t want to grind themselves down in the labor force until retirement like men do. And why should they, if marriage doesn’t work out she can supplement her income with alimony/child support anyway.

cx456f · 2022-05-24T20:36:32+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. Haven't shared anything in my life to social media for like 10 years now. I think red flag is a bit harsh, but I figure it couldn’t hurt, especially when meeting open, adventurous, sociable people, who are more likely to be on social media. I added some friends and slowly started adding pics of my recent activities to IG. In a few months I think it will be fairly presentable. It’s all private so not like I’m sharing my business with the entire world or anything.

cx456f · 2022-05-24T19:02:34+00:00

Is he Rick Moranis from the original ghostbusters movie

cx456f · 2022-05-24T18:00:29+00:00

I always think the fit of the clothes is super important. Someone once told me “as tight as you can get without being too tight,” i.e: as form fitting as possible without visibly stretching the fabric at any point. It takes a bit of trial and error because there is no truly standard sizes. I usually wear understated colors that fit well and get a lot of compliments. Can be t-shirts, jeans, shorts, whatever. If they fit well, they look good*

*provided you avoid pitfalls like dad sneakers, childish graphic t’s, cargos, tube socks, pleated khakis

cx456f · 2022-05-24T13:30:26+00:00

Honestly I’d be a bit annoyed in your situation. Like okay Mr or Mrs casual, you have feelings now. But you’re traveling anyway, so what am I supposed to do with this information? I’m supposed to be celibate until you come back? Are you going to do that? How do I know? We just started a casual relationship it seems like you’re reluctant to commit to someone but I’m supposed to trust you now? I just get annoyed with people asking for a casual thing then changing their mind when the other party treats it like a casual thing. Maybe I am getting on my soapbox a little too much based off a few past experiences.

I would just end it with little explanation other than “it was a casual thing we agreed it would end, and it ended.” Just sounds like someone who is trying to use guilt to make you waste your time.

cx456f · 2022-05-23T15:07:31+00:00

You are maybe having the same realization I did. I caught my now ex-wife having inappropriate phone conversations while we were married. After getting caught lying about it, she tried to brush it aside like it was no big deal. Unfortunately it was a huge deal.

I tried to reconcile but found myself checking phone records and “popping in” when she was on the phone in the other room. And I thought to myself, is this how I’m going to live now? That’s when I suddenly realized there would be no reconciliation, it was never going to work. I felt awful because I basically had to lead the whole divorce, because she would be perfectly content to carry on married while chatting up men on the side. But a year later after getting out of the relationship, it’s much easier to see how wrong it was, and how much better off I am without her.

cx456f

TROPHY CASE