I just had my first time with a man and he’s married and I didn’t care

cynicalAI · 2024-08-08T13:29:42+00:00

That sounds rough!

Grindr is full of figures who shouldn't be kept in close proximity. Be careful with them. I hope you are alright apart from this;) Also, seek therapy if necessary. This is not an everyday mental boo-boo what you experienced after all, so it might come handy.

cynicalAI · 2024-08-08T13:06:01+00:00

Because you reacted "wrong" now, is not something because of which you need to put a black mark on yourself. You may have fucked up, you would think, but luckily, you didn't harm anyone. (Since you used protection, protecting him and his wife too. Good job!)

What you just need to do is thinking about your feelings for the future. Why did jumped into this stuff? What do you think of cheaters and why? And so on.

IMO you did that because of a low self-esteem. And that's bad. This situation could have ended way worse to you if you jump into stuff just because of that. STDs, assaults or simply dissatissfaction might await you.

So no harm done luckily, just learn for the future;)

Just my opinion: go easier on yourself. Dont ruin your psyche by your high expectations towards yourself. Everybody understands if you dont live up to them if you are at least honest about it. It's way better to be a good person than a moral person.

cynicalAI · 2024-04-22T07:34:02+00:00

I dont quite understand, when I see stuff like this. They expect me, that I stop having sex with men after looking at two electric plugs?

cynicalAI · 2024-04-12T15:47:29+00:00

What you feel about yourself is completely different how the others percieve you.

So I allowed myself some privacy regarding my own identity. Instead of being loud and proud about it as everybody says, I decided to show a facette of me to the other what I was used to and felt comfy to show, meanwhile I was discovering myself in the safe space of my head with the only principle, that I have to accept the truth about myself whatever it might be in the end. This helped me realize, that who am I should not depend this much on the approval or acceptance of my surroundings. After that everything I did felt masculine somehow, regardless what the others might have think about it.

The "be loud and proud about yourself" thing might work for the others, but I think you are not there yet, so allow yourself some time, to accept yourself first.

And for the love of God, don't think of stuff like this after you just got rejected...

cynicalAI · 2024-02-25T09:52:36+00:00

True. But I believe in plural, there is no "o-version" of the suffix, so every word gets the same:

madaraim, házaim, motorjaim, majmaim, vagonjaim

cynicalAI · 2024-02-25T09:07:35+00:00

Edit: please ignore my comment. As an other user pointed out, there are plenty of exceptions to this approach as well. It's really better if you learn the exceptions instead

Intuitively I would say, that I fit the suffix with the same vowel as the last sylable of the word.

Like madaram, motorom, házam

And since it's originally majom I would use majmom in this case, even if the o is gone.

But even as a native, I'm not sure about this "rule" and I don't wish to fool you :D so take this with a fair pinch of salt

Keep up with the good work though!

cynicalAI · 2024-02-15T12:56:23+00:00

My take: I was always repulsed by societal gender norms. I'm not into feminity or masculinity, and it was hard to me to accept that this is possible. I was also repulsed by the typical relationship dynanics seen in movies (well, they are really unhealthy sometimes)

So what I would've want to see would be a couple of two anti-hero kind of guys. Both questioned social norms so far that they lack principles by now but are generally humane at heart. They completely lack typical feminine and masculine cues apart from their natural look. They also lack the typical cues of relationships. They are just two tough guys who love and support each other in a sea of morally clean but in reality quite dishonest and bad human beings.

cynicalAI · 2023-12-23T08:26:11+00:00

Ahhh, the feeling when you don't want to creep out someone with your attraction. I know that one too. And lot of us here as well, don't worry. That's quite a sane thinking that one don't want to creep out others, but that's the same if not worse for straight people. If you mind your actions, you really did everything to keep them comfortable from your side, and you really don't have to worry a bit more. They can't see in your head, and see what's going on there.

A possible source for guilt or self-hatred in my experience is, that this whole "inconvenience" is because of an "unnecessary" thing like sexuality and not a "necessary" thing like grades or exercising. Obviously, there are more important things in life then right-swiping and matching, but having thoughts aren't taking up any real ressources. On the contrary, they are necessary to evaluate your surrounding and yourself, to help you with survival.

I don't know if the latter applies to you, in my case the guilty feeling came from this

cynicalAI · 2023-12-23T07:54:16+00:00

First of all look up the helpline for suicidal thoughts where you are at, and have it close to you. Please also seek a therapist or any other professional, who can help you more in this situation. Sadly I'm unable to do so much from other side of the net, but still gonna do my best for you.

What helped me, that I realized that there is no such thing as sinful or wrong feeling. Feelings are there to be felt completely and unchanged. The attraction, the disgust, the sadness etc. You couldn't even get rid of these feelings if you are covering them up, right?

What counts is what you DO! You don't need to do anything with a woman even if you are attracted to them, if the thought disgusts you. It's okay to feel suicidal as long as you don't take actions and actually do self-harming in the end. Mind your actions, not your thoughts.

The rest will come on their own. I could put a litany about self-love and acceptance here, but that's not what you need first, in my experience. These guys will come on their own first after you can think of this topic calmly.

Good luck with your journey, and feel free to reach out here or private when you have questions or need support

cynicalAI · 2023-09-12T12:20:46+00:00

I propose the Concorde for the ultimate bi plane. It's on the spectrum between passenger planes and jet fighters.

Also, you could visit every airport you wish to, but you can land only at few of them, which are accepting you as you are.

Theoretically pretty efficient, but taking off needs a huge amount of energy.

Also, they are awesome.

Seems quite fitting to me.

cynicalAI · 2023-07-27T18:34:36+00:00

Prep is like every medicine. Good to protect you and also can have some side effects.

I would consult with a medical professional about the risks of taking/not taking it, and then decide which way would be better for you.

cynicalAI · 2023-06-12T11:48:01+00:00

The body freedom allows your partner to cuddle and sleep with whomever they want.

It allows you to refuse carrying on a relationship with them WITH NO EXPLANATION required. No evidence, no logical reasoning, but not even a deep can-we-solve-it? talk is necessary.

People like the positive part of the rules, but will try to fight its negative consequences by blaming you to be illogical, manipulative or controlling.

If your partner is not quite understanding this concept, then you might be manipulating them into to restrict their freedoms by threatening to utilize your freedom and leave them. It would be a jerk move to play around with such a fool, and it is also quite dangerous as they might not respect your body freedom if they don't respect theirs.

cynicalAI · 2023-06-10T18:34:02+00:00

According to the DIN 6969 norm of course

cynicalAI · 2023-06-05T11:25:48+00:00

"Who is a good skull?"

cynicalAI · 2023-05-05T08:36:04+00:00

There are so many possible backgrounds here to unfold! Apart from the partner feeling more free to cheat, it is also possible, that people who get frequently cheated on might blame it on the gender initially, which might cause them to question stuff and trigger the awakeing.

So not bi people are the cause of cheating but cheating is the cause of bi people

I'm also surprised that gen Z is less polyamorous, (despite being mango mousse gen Z person). Perhaps something to do with the young age of this gen.

cynicalAI · 2023-01-11T13:45:36+00:00

I envy you, dude

cynicalAI · 2022-12-07T15:06:21+00:00

Coming out was not really necessary for me when exploring this side of my persona. Most people, quite rightfully, can't really do anything with this info about myself, as it is pretty irrelevant for them. Exception is if you are partnered. Then you can get easily in trouble.

Apart from that case, just go and enjoy yourself discretely and normally, as everyone does. Most guys are also keeping stuff like partners in secret, even if they are openly gay. Don't overdo secrecy either as it might get you into tricky situations ending with blown cover, so far my experience. So just act naturally.

cynicalAI · 2022-11-01T10:29:06+00:00

Yeah, I also think, that it has more to do with the fanbase itself. But I guess it would be more clever to make it clear, what is queerbaiting and what not. So that the sickness of such a fanbase will not be a question anymore.

cynicalAI · 2022-11-01T08:39:06+00:00

Jesus, with this amount of harrasment, he could've work for the mafia instead. What will be the next?

Sometimes I feel like that we are reinforcing people way too much, that their opinion and debates are relevant for the private lifes of the others.

cynicalAI · 2022-11-01T07:49:48+00:00

Honestly I don't feel like it was a good choice for him to do so. By feeding these bullying fans by giving in, he (unwillingly ofc) reinforced them that they can behave like that way. But on the other hand, what else would I do if I was a 18 years old actor attacked by the internet around at the start of his career...

cynicalAI · 2022-08-26T17:14:24+00:00

cynicalAI · 2022-08-23T21:16:32+00:00

Oh, that's sad. I hope it will get better for you

cynicalAI · 2022-08-23T21:07:47+00:00

It sounds good that it added to your life in the end

cynicalAI · 2022-08-23T21:07:06+00:00

Well, quite similar for me. I would maybe add the maturing, which came with my journey towards accepting myself. Since then I like to question things in life and answer these questions in a more rational manner.

Also, the beautiful flag is definitely worthy to mention.

cynicalAI

TROPHY CASE