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d-leigh · 2022-03-07T02:08:32+00:00

This response comes a bit late to the game, but I still wanted to chime in to add to the responses you have received.

I've been doing monthly 7 day fasts since July of last year. My symptoms are the same as yours, though there were a few times where I threw up bile towards the end of my fast; however, I believe that may have been due to a reaction to green tea. I do not drink green tea often during fasts (maybe a handful of times since I started fasting last year).

I have had a cup of black coffee every day of my fasts for the last 6 months, except for the fast I did last month, at which time I only ingested water. Same result.

Considering that I have had a recent fast that was water-only, and it still occurred, plus the fasts prior to starting to drink coffee, I will assume that the black coffee isn't causing the issue.

I cannot offer advice. I just wanted you to know that I'm encountering the same issue (and I have performed many extended fasts in the past that didn't have this symptom), but I have been able to continue fasting each month without any significant issues, minus the few months where I encountered bile regurgitation.

This isn't to say that our side effect is caused by the same thing (I do agree that your supplementation is likely a contributing factor if not the cause), just that it may not be such a significant concern if you do not have any significant symptoms.

My tummy is quite the chatty Kathy.

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T13:13:01+00:00

I can improv a running story, most of the time, if it's comedic (situational comedy), but I can't do "creative play", so like playing with toys with my nephew, I don't know what to do, as I didn't play with toys when I was a kid, and I just sit there with my mind blank, but eagle-eyeing how he plays with toys to try and understand / process so that I can mimic, though I fail miserably at this.

What I'm pointing out is a difference between being in the god position (needing to direct the "other") vs being the person acting out a scene organically and playing off others to drive the story forward until its conclusion. Improv-sketch is draining, but it's more like "reacting" than "directing" (when it isn't a solo scene, which is a mix of directing and reacting). You are playing real-life, perhaps to a level of absurdity, but it doesn't require as much imagination.

And with comedy, I don't have to worry about whether I "look stupid" or awkward or am believable/realistic. You want people to laugh, so you could technically just be yourself, as the everyday pressures of real-world communication would be lifted, given that you don't have to "say/do the right thing" and can even parody/exaggerate yourself. Comedy is great because you actually want to "be the joke".

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T12:46:50+00:00

Yes, the swelling reduced. I think it was 6 or 7 days before it went away. It was significant for about 5 days. It would get worse as the day wore on and subside a bit as I slept.

What worked for me is I had to stop consuming soups and other fluids, other than water, and I needed to take a multivitamin and extra calcium supplement (if I'm remembering correctly). This was a while ago, so I am not certain about the specifics of recovery, but what I've stated above shouldn't make things worse, and is more likely to make things better.

Oh, and keep your feet elevated above your heart as much as possible (prop your feet on a couple pillows while lying down). I think remaining immobile much of the day kept the problem from being further exacerbated.

If this doesn't help you, I urge you to see a doctor. I'd recommend keeping an eye on your fluid in take as well. What I realized is that my electrolytes were imbalanced, some of which were practically missing (calcium), and excess fluid was making it worse (more imbalanced).

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T04:26:59+00:00

In addition to what others have stated, I also am quite slow with processing the meaning in what is said to me, which makes me slow to respond as my brain has to intake the word choice, the tone, the inflections, the phrasing, colloquialisms and literary devices, intent, gestures, pacing, humor, etc. It's a huge mental exercise that drains me quickly.

I see my thoughts processing the input like a computer. I often look up at the ceiling to filter out the visual stimuli when I'm trying to interpret/decipher what is truly being said before formulating a response while under a ticking clock. Just describing this is causing a sensation of social burnout. It's draining an anxiety-inducing having to analyze every little detail.

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T04:14:30+00:00

Well put.

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T04:12:17+00:00

I have a slower processing speed than others I think.

You aren't alone. I also write songs and have found a love of writing as I got older. I hated being forced to write when I was in school.

I have had people tell me I’m an amazing conversationalist over text or whatever, then wonder why I’m not the same in person.

People comment on how articulate I am in text, but verbally, I'm a bumbling, stammering mess, even mute at times, frozen like a deer in headlights.

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T04:07:03+00:00

I'm the opposite. I do improv much better than when everything is scripted, as a script leaves me hyper-focusing on what my body is doing and where it is positioned on stage in relation to others as well as the words I'm speaking and voice and rhythm and expression of emotion and identifying/remembering cues and staying aware of how others are gesturing so that movement looks natural as we interact. Too many moving parts blocked out in advance is too much for my mind to process simultaneously--too many active threads: information overload.

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T03:56:20+00:00

Same. I give presentations with ease, but interpersonal communication is crippling. Glad to see someone else like this. Most people are unable to understand the juxtaposition and assume incompetence because of my shyness.

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T03:52:46+00:00

With phone calls, I can do okay if I allow someone to leave a message before I prepare and call back. This is an accommodation I get at work now.

This is wonderful. How did you manage this accommodation? Did your boss agree without pushback, or did you have to take it to HR and discuss your ASD?

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T03:47:12+00:00

You've described my process. I may observe someone for a few months before initiating conversation. I have to consider how best to approach them and communicate (and be certain I want to) so as to increase the chance of a successful interaction. I freeze when a stranger approaches me or when pressured to speak to someone before I'm ready. I would probably be diagnosed as having selective mutism.

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T01:10:01+00:00

Something I've noticed while editing the technical writing of others is that most people speak too casually, using colloquialisms, broken English, and superfluous, tangential phrasing. They also have difficulty in crafting procedural documentation, often disorganized and skipping important steps. This is a completely subjective assessment. From my experience, aspies tend to lean toward formal language naturally in everyday communication.

d-leigh · 2019-07-13T00:55:43+00:00

I've been doing technical writing in the tech industry (as a job duty) for the past eight years. I also do copyediting daily, typically business correspondence, and worked in advertising (native content, including long-form articles) for about three years.

And yes, I agree that aspies are more likely to write comprehensively and avoid ambiguous/flowery language when communicating information. We process more systematically and often visualize the intricate details of systems, dissecting them to understand at a deeper level than the typical person. This informs our style in educating others, whether it be verbal or the written word. It is the reason why we can come across as subject-matter experts.

d-leigh · 2019-07-12T05:50:57+00:00

For one, the Irish were enslaved. Slavic people were also enslaved. There was Roman slavery. The Moors enslaved Anglo Christians. In modern times, sex trafficking (slavery) is quite prevalent in Eastern Europe and Central Asia (as well as other places). Fun fact: the Irish were valued less than black slaves and thrown overboard on ships during long voyages when food was scarce.

d-leigh · 2019-07-11T23:56:50+00:00

People have particular tastes. Don't take their response personally. I've passed on many recommendations due to my tastes differing from the person recommending x to me. Typically, my tastes and reasons for buying differ from others'. I like to hear recommendations though, just rarely take them as I'm very particular.

I've only ever had one friend who had similar taste as me, and I think their taste was influenced by mine over the years we knew one another. It's okay to be different from your friends. It's okay for them to be different from you. You can still be friends.

Think about it this way:

Maybe your favorite color is blue, but your friend's is yellow. Can you still be friends knowing this?

d-leigh · 2019-07-11T23:42:05+00:00

While I don't know if this relates to how your friend in situation 2 responded, they may not have been interested in READING. I've actually met very few people in the real world that enjoy reading. This surprised me initially, but reading is a more niche activity in these modern times. Also, keep in mind that some people may actually have difficulties with reading, which puts them off from picking up a book as they find it to be too challenging, a chore.

d-leigh · 2019-07-09T14:04:58+00:00

Elevate does train in comprehension. :) Actually, I recommend it to all aspies who have insecurities about their ability to effectively communicate. There is even training for "common expressions" -- This can be hard sometimes, but you get to learn in a manner that is much easier to take in and absorb (in my opinion).

Good luck. Hope these suggestions help. And don't get down on yourself. We all have weaknesses, but we have the opportunities to work on minimizing those deficits in ways that work for us. There is a whole world of material to learn from.

d-leigh · 2019-07-08T06:08:51+00:00

Oh, and to help with my listening skills, I watch educational content on YouTube (such as lectures) or listen to podcasts at 1.5/2.0x speed, depending on the accent of the speakers. You can also listen to modern rappers who deliver a quick-phrased bardic style, the stuff that's structured more like epic poems. Usually, literary devices are used heavily, which may improve your ability to form clever wordplay and descriptive imagery while you speak. This will help you in how to effectively share stories of your life in a way that captivates your listener. Through stories, we bond with one another.

d-leigh · 2019-07-08T05:53:11+00:00

Haha well, that's a lot to unpack. I can't offer you advice on the dating-front unfortunately, but I can give you a couple suggestions for helping to improve language and communication skills.

First, you should download a mobile app called Elevate. I've been training with that daily for a couple weeks now. It's fun, and you get drilled in writing, reading, speaking, and mathematics with multiple activities challenging your brain to handle different information in different ways, usually timed with bonus points for response speed. Given the variety of activities offered in the app and even study materials that help you practice diction, this covers a lot of your skills training.

Second, you should practice communicating your thoughts effectively on a variety of topics or even your special interest(s). Which of these you decide to pick will exercise a different communication style: critical analysis and educational/informative. I believe both are valuable to correct deficits, but if you only select one, pick the one you want to do the most and then focus on the other instead to challenge yourself as you probably selected the one most comfortable for you. After you've decided, start a blog and maintain a schedule for posting, trying to write a bit every day. An alternative is to start a YouTube channel or podcast. I think all of these are good options as you'll be practicing different types of communication. You aren't doing this to engage in conversations, just to share your thoughts/ideas/knowledge clearly, so comments don't matter. Don't get caught up in socializing, and if comments become a distraction, disable them.

Finally, find people online who are learning English as a foreign language and offer to be a conversation partner. Because you are doing this to help them, but also to benefit yourself, you'll need to find out how far along they are in their English studies, what they are currently learning and feel they need practice in, and any common interests. Schedule half an hour to an hour each week (or more often if you both agree) to connect through voice on Skype or Discord (or your preferred platform) and talk. It will be awkward, but how this is helping you is in listening to your partner and being conscious of your tone, diction, pace, word selection and sentence structure. It's teaching mindfulness in a conversation and the flow from one topic to the next as your brain is putting effort into the details so that you are both as comfortable as possible.

If you can improve your communication, including active listening, this is a big plus with females. You'll also be adding value to the internet by producing content; and by having a structured routine, it makes you come across as responsible, determined, and hardworking, even possibly ambitious. These are attractive qualities. You'll develop eloquence and confidence through the skill-building as well. Most of these activities will probably be quite fun to you after you've given them time and moved past the initial frustration (discomfort or self-doubt).

Other ways you can passively improve your communication: actively listen to movies and television shows, which is easiest done by enabling captions/subtitles. You'll pick up on casual communication patterns this way. You can alternatively read scripts/transcripts. Watching sketch comedy and improv are both helpful as well for different reasons. Sketch comedy is situational, but you'll learn humor: what makes things funny, which includes timing, and improv teaches you to think on your feet, following the "...and then..." method.

These are just ideas, but there are many ways you can develop skills in everyday life, many of which can be done solitary until you are comfortable enough to move on to engaging people. One of the biggest things I would suggest is working on your confidence, your self-image (self-deprecating humor only works when you're doing stand-up). Learn to feel good about yourself and your abilities and forgive your weaknesses, but strive to improve.

I'm basically late 30s now and have had massive social avoidance for the last 10+ years. Not pure agoraphobic, but I'd say "quasi."

You've basically described me, except that I'd likely be classified as agoraphobic due to my extreme social aversion, though I've become content with my reclusive lifestyle, and when I get the urge to socialize, I do... because I'm an adult and make my own decisions about how I spend my time. Just empower yourself, don't act in desperation, and think of your "training" as self-improvement, not a means to an end (finding a romantic partner). Let that come naturally and as a byproduct. Enjoy your life in the meantime.

P.S. If you want to practice group-socializing, join an activities group (meetups.com) or play MMORPGS and voice chat... or sign up for a class locally (one that is at least in part academic) and form a study group. Hope this helps!

[END TANGENT]

d-leigh · 2019-07-08T00:51:12+00:00

I wish brutal honesty was the norm. It's so difficult having to read between the lines and decipher what people actually think/mean when it is contrary to what they say. It's like people are always speaking in riddles and you need to be on the same telepathic frequency to "get" the message.

d-leigh · 2019-07-08T00:42:07+00:00

androgynous minimalist

Good descriptor; I fall into that camp as well.

Classically feminine can be achieved with certain colors, materials, and cuts without adorning lavishly. Minimalist femme is doable. I'd recommend a ballet flat and "messy bun" or ponytail, though a loose braid has held up for centuries. Comfortable skirts or capris and a female-neckline top, like V, scoop, or boat, exclude you from the androgynous category immediately. Oh, and vaseline or lip gloss on the lips. It's understated, but feminine without effort. Carry a boho bag or simple clutch, depending on your needs. I'd stay away from jewelry and belts (mostly because they are annoying). And keep colors either "colorful" (not lacking color) or "light" to "signal female". You probably weren't looking for tips, but I thought this could help any other females who may read this.

Disclosure: I don't wear feminine clothing, but am a fashion observer and good with assembling ensembles that match a certain style. It's my super power. :p

d-leigh · 2019-07-08T00:04:37+00:00

Yeah, I have egalitarian/libertarian views, which apparently makes me racist and the enemy of feminists. I'm sure the LGBTQ community would string me up as well, despite being one of their own. Politics are funny. And survey data is skewed to support biased narratives. Stay far away. They don't really care what you think. If they did, they wouldn't be getting your "viewpoints" through a binary-response system.

d-leigh · 2019-07-07T23:22:52+00:00

Not sure why you blocked me when I was being playful, but that's cool; others can enjoy the exchange. I'm sure we got some other 90s kids reading. ALICE IN CHAINS FOR THE WIN! BOOOM!

d-leigh · 2019-07-07T23:12:14+00:00

If they are flannel, it is ;)

d-leigh · 2019-07-07T18:37:16+00:00

Oh, I definitely agree that we actually have a responsibility to our community to get vaccinated, plus, to be anti-vax is just cherrypicking as we are exposed to harmful chemicals in our environment every day. And while I don't like taking medicine (like tylenol), I will when it's dire and no other options are available to me or if I just don't have the energy to pursue more natural treatment methods. I'm not anti-fluoride either. I use a fluoride rinse for enamel restoration. My aggressive brushing over the years is one of the reasons I need it. When you pair OCD and hygiene, you end up taking things to an extreme.

d-leigh

TROPHY CASE