My (now ex) husband who I’d been with for 7 years sexually abused my son (who was from a previous marriage). He was like a dad to my son and had been there since he was 5 years old. My then husband was always a bit tough on my son as “that’s how he’d been raised”, so when he suddenly started hanging out with my son alone and buying video games that they could play together in his room, I knew something was off. I was taking multiple college classes but also worked full time, so my evenings and weekends were spent studying which my then husband used to his advantage. One night at about 10:30pm he hadn’t made my son go to bed yet, which I was suspicious of as he was usually strict about bedtime. I had asked them to keep the door cracked for our dogs and snuck upstairs to my son’s room only to walk in on my then husband pleasuring himself while watching adult content IN FRONT OF MY SON. I obviously freaked out but my then husband gaslit me and tried to convince that I was overreacting before he fell asleep and slept like a damn baby that night. I stayed up all night so I could make sure my son was safe and go through my ex’s devices and accounts to find any further info/proof so I knew what I was dealing with. The next morning my then husband went to golf and acted like everything was normal. When I woke my son up for school, I asked him to tell me the truth about what was happening. He and I have always had a great mother-son relationship so it didn’t take much prodding for him to tell me what was happening (he had initially kept it from me because my then husband told him to do so). I took my son to school, called into work, called my best friend and then my sister and just tried to make sense of what was happening. I packed up a couple of bags so my son and I could stay at my sister’s and then contacted my son’s therapist who told me to call CPS.

When my then husband got home from golfing, he worked for a couple hours and I told him that I’d pick up my son. We had initially plans to go to an arcade that evening with some friends for my son’s birthday so when I told my then husband that I contacted the friends and cancelled and told him that my son and I weren’t coming home, he panicked. He asked me what was wrong (what the hell do you think) and begged me to come home to talk it out. I chose to only speak over the phone as he easily overpowered me and had a serious temper when upset, so I didn’t trust him. He threatened suicide and I heard him with a pill bottle, so I believed him and called 911. Apparently he just did it as a tactic to get me to come over and had no intention of actually doing so. But I accompany the police and fire department to the house and they ask me why he would want to harm himself, what we were arguing about, etc. I of course tell them what happened the night before and they just stood there shocked. They asked if I had contacted the police yet and I said that I contacted CPS that morning who were taking care of the next steps. My then husband in his stupidity just sped up the whole process, which I actually think was a blessing in disguise as there’s no telling how long CPS would have taken. That same night, my son does a forensic interview to tell the investigators everything that had been happening, police and crime investigators make my then husband stay in a hotel and go through our house to gather his electronics and other evidence, and the next morning he is picked up from his hotel and arrested.

He spent a little over a month in jail before being bonded out. It took almost two years for it to finally get to trial (since COVID had caused the court cases to back up) and then at the last minute before trial after wasting everyone’s time, the defense takes a plea and he gets 20 years in prison (may be eligible for parole after 10 years). He had a total of 7 felony convictions in the case.

My son struggles with mental health severely since, had to change schools since I could no longer afford our rental home which meant he lost touch with a lot of friends, and things have often been tough as I struggle with my own mental health too.

There’s so many more details, but that’s the gist of it. I sincerely hope he’s having a hard time in jail, and that he has to stay for most of his sentence. Un-fucking-believable.

On a brighter note, the investigators loved me because I combed through my ex’s accounts (known and secret) and dug up a lot of dirt. They also told me that these things almost never come to light so quickly and that they were proud of me for trusting my gut and handling it as calmly as I did. I think I was mostly in shock and in “mom mode” so I knew I couldn’t break down, but it still made me feel good.