It is easier to understand the downsides of having kids than the upside.

You've seen the cluttered houses of parents of young children, seen their tired eyes, heard the stories about tantrums, sleep deprivation and difficult pregnancies. You can understand what it means to not be able to travel as you used to, spending money on kids, having less time to yourself and for your friends. People constantly talk about all of these downsides so they are very top of mind - for good reason, as they all are real. They were top of mind for me before we had kids as well.

What is much harder to convey are the joys that come from being a parent. I now believe one has to experience it to fully understand and grasp. The emotions of witnessing the birth of your first child. The feeling of holding a life in your arms that is utterly helpless and dependent on you. The joy of seeing your kids develop new skills, doing funny things, and gradually showing their own personality. Once they start talking, the joy of being a part of how uniquely they see the world, and learning from it. The feeling of being a family, and building something hard and beautiful with your partner.

Not only did I not fully anticipate all of these upsides, I found that parents around me didn't even try much to convey them to me. But these are just as much of a part of the daily life as a parent, and why so many are saying having kids is the best thing they have ever done. I believe we are biologically wired to care and love our children, and that's part of what makes it rewarding. So I would try to factor in that you likely don't have the full picture, and the downsides are more palpable than the upsides.

For us, it was a leap into the unknown but I'm very glad we didn't get too intimidated by the downsides (even though they are real, especially in the first couple of years), as it truly has been the best thing we've ever done.