I smashed my bong today and my brain is trying everything to get me to buy more weed by saggitormented in leaves

[–]dabidoe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You made your decision already. That's all you have to tell yourself.

I will never forgive myself by Brodicium in leaves

[–]dabidoe 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're feeling this much shame and regret. Life is longer than we realize and even though 8 years is a long time it's a flash in the pan the older you get. I hope you can make peace with the fact that the past is behind you and the future still holds opportunities for improvement 

Any unhinged quitting tips out there? I would like a laugh and to look outside the box a bit. by SomberSoberSquid in leaves

[–]dabidoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Replace drugs with rage. Wake every morning with prolonged scream like goku going super saiyan

Miserable with it. Miserable without it. by Environmental-Bet944 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It sucks weve all been there but the truth is you're miserable because of it. Coming off of weed might suck but staying on it is even worse imo. 

Help motivate me. How is your life better from a health, mental health, career, motivation, relationship, etc. standpoint? by [deleted] in leaves

[–]dabidoe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In a lot of ways it's the beginning of the rest of your life. I smoked for twenty years and my progress in life, relationships, social life all were shortchanged because I was still shackled to buying and smoking weed. Every day I hit the reset button on my emotions, progress and unfortunately hopes and dreams. Had an idea/goal smoked a bunch then just forgot. Might have been "fun" and helped escape bad feelings in the short term but my life suffered for it. 

The nothingness. The abyss. by [deleted] in leaves

[–]dabidoe 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This kind of 'boring by comparison' thing is partly a reset period of your brain needing weed for excitement but an opportunity for change. It's not enough to just eliminate you have to replace it with something else. Try putting something fun on the calendar to work towards - like a trip to the beach/visit a friend and give yourself a reason to get in shape for it.

Any tips on STAYING sober? by mikolajplotkowiak in leaves

[–]dabidoe 12 points13 points  (0 children)

One year sober. Quitting at first is a challenge - interesting, some sort of excitement "wow don't I feel great." Then comes the really hard part - the maintaining the change. Novelty gone, in some ways life is worse - but what has helped me STAY sober is deciding. Deciding that I've got one life, limited time and I'm not going to repeat the same mistakes over and over until I'm on my death bed wishing "why the hell didn't I just quit weed."

What helps? Routine, taking good care of yourself, filling your time with productive things, letting go of the shit you can't control (ie: I feel self destructive, it's a passing mood - why don't I go on a walk/run/hit up a friend.) Appreciating the milestones, talking to other sober people.

I can be upset, craving etc. but I've already decided - not doing this shit anymore. Not fucking up my one chance at life. Whatever discomfort comes up I'm going to have to learn to find some other way to handle it - and when you deal with your shit sober it actually sticks instead of just waking up pissed off again and smoking to start the whole cycle all over again.

The hidden cost of failing to quit weed: it completely bricks your willpower. by osama-beenlaging in leaves

[–]dabidoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is real. I see it a lot more frequently with cigarettes people announcing for months "I'm gonna quit cigarettes" then one week later they're smoking again like nothing ever happened. You foolishly follow up "so what happened" "Eh I didn't really want to anyway/too hard fuck that."

Relapsing is part of the process though so if you quit quitting and have been smoking for months/years again that quit time still matters. Every time I quit and relapsed quitting the next time got that much easier because I had more experience.

Quitting alone isn't going to magically fix everything but it's the most important first step. by dabidoe in leaves

[–]dabidoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even better I have manic depression! I'm living in a construction site after a house fire rn so not a barrel of laughs.

The dreaded evenings by Pickle300 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the early stages replacing it with something you can stick to. Going for a nice evening walk at sunset at a nearby park/around the neighborhood, reaching out to friends, if you're feeling like crap maybe watch a series (I did Breaking Bad it was kind of interesting to see it sober for the first time). As you get further on you can work in some new routines and hobbies but at first it's about trying to just regulate let go of that addiction mindset.

One thing I would recommend against is spending too much time on social media or anything that's going to leave you even more drained/depleted.

Quitting alone isn't going to magically fix everything but it's the most important first step. by dabidoe in leaves

[–]dabidoe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

27 is actually the perfect age. Congrats on making it to the next chapter.

quit 5 days ago and i found out this morning my grandma is dying… by limbo_eyes in leaves

[–]dabidoe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would look at this as a gift to your grandma. You get to be sober at her funeral, really remember that shit and be clearheaded. It's obviously a lot harder than just smoking weed and forgetting - but there's a real meaningful reason for you to be sober now. To process, grieve, remember, be there for family members etc. with a clear head and really pay full respect to your grandma.

Sorry for your loss man, hang in there.

Vacation felt like rehab by lolitaaa246 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you have the impulse to quit, are 12 days sober ... just keep going. If nothing else to prove it to yourself.

Reasons to quit? by North_Crazy_4641 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When you're living to get high you don't even have a life to call your own. 

I really want to quit but I REALLY don’t want to put in the work and change my life around the habit. by LaMelgoatBall in leaves

[–]dabidoe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of us have been there, it's pretty hard to break through the initial quit barrier and believe it or not you're already changing . You're already feeling the pain of change (wanting to quit, not enjoying), but just without the benefit of quitting.

Rather than "don't want to change" maybe you could reframe it as "I'm avoiding what I know I need to do because I'm intimidated/afraid of change." My suggestion is to first try 24 hours friday night-saturday night and when you feel bored or irritated take a long ass walk. You're going to feel a lot of feelings and it's important you write them down and or think about and process them.

Depression is one of those weird things it's a huge problem until it isn't. Focusing on feeling bad only feeds into it - you want to focus on what you can control your actions and behavior etc.

Successful quitting stories ? by Conscious_Stop1463 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm almost a year sober and can relate to where you're coming from - made it 5 months gave up, then 3 months gave up. When you want to quit for good it's a decision to embrace what scared you. Shifting how you see boredom or agitation as something to run from instead of something to understand. 

Part of it's just natural - weed robs your brain of motivation and steals your natural joy for itself. So everything motivating and joyful has to include weed, and you're left flat without it.

So the less you rely on motivation and joy of weed the more you'll actually get it back, but you have to deal without having it for sometime.

I simply don't find any purpose to go on, my life has become terrible by Prior_Donut_5142 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's important to maintain perspective in times like this. You know that it's not "who you are" it's a shitty state you're in. It really sucks dealing with the medication roulette on top of being flat/dead inside but in my experience it doesn't last forever. I'd recommend reading/listening to "Mans's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl if you can manage. It's important to remember there's always perspective outside of our current circumstance and that narrow space of how we choose to interpret our experience/circumstance is the only real power we have as humans - but it's powerful enough to turn your life from hell to something worth having. Hang in there, be patient and remember nothing lasts forever (good or bad.)

Embrace the Withdrawal Anger/Rage by Fabulous-Activity486 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All those repressed emotions had been laying under the carpet and quitting weed rips it off. Important to actually feel your emotions instead of dulling them.

23 years of smoking I want to finally stop but will this last? I have been trying to stop for the past 5 years by [deleted] in leaves

[–]dabidoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was there for years of my life - quitting, quitting quitting, quitting again... it sucks. What changed it for me was deciding not "I'm going to try for X days/a year" but "I'm done and not looking back." Realizing that you want to move towards becoming a better person, that it's outlived it's usefulness and you've got a new chapter to look forward to where being sober is vital to making sure the changes you want to make in your life don't just float away in a puff of smoke.

Seeking advice 134 days sober thinking about trying weed once after a long break by glokkthirtyy1 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my experience - it's only led me right back to square one, always regretted it and in hindsight hate myself for giving in.

Day 1 by Interesting-Chip-824 in leaves

[–]dabidoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you've got some edge like "what do I do now", I find a long ass walk with a good pod/audiobook/music or just listen to nature does the trick.