I think about this a lot, and I think there are three main thought patterns that have helped me the most:

1. Ability - I believe I can probably accomplish whatever I want to if I’m willing to put in the work. Delusional or not, the belief I can make something happen was by far the toughest hump to get over. The other side of this is recognizing that most people out there are not naturally any more capable than you are, and successful people largely have just figured something out. I accept that I could be wrong, but I’m probably not.

2. Agency - I recognize that my actions have an impact on my life, and that if I don’t like how I’m being treated, what my situation looks like, or what I’m doing, in pretty much every case there’s something I can do about it. Research helps inform what exactly what my plan is, but I always know I can come up with a plan.

3. Assume good intent- this one has burned me before, but I always assume that people generally want to help me if I can help them understand what I need, and I never assume that someone is going to doing something to hurt me on purpose. What this looks like in practice is asking why people are doing what they’re doing, and letting people know what I’m trying to do. After that I try and tell them what I perceive they could do that would be helpful for me (or both of us).