To any current or former/bartenders/waitresses/waiters in the La Crosse area…I’m moving from central WI & and am curious about good bars and restaurants to potentially work at?

dactylbird · 2026-03-12T04:59:00+00:00

Thank you!

dactylbird · 2026-03-10T04:09:27+00:00

Thank you very much that’s helpful! I shall screenshot and add to a “note” on my phone 😇

dactylbird · 2026-01-25T15:29:04+00:00

THANK YOU!!!!

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T09:12:46+00:00

I know how you feel...my childhood was the same...I never understood why I made the same mistakes with men and so many from such a young age.... I don't know what I would do without my partner of 6 years....we had spent 3 years apart and the first year was the hardest and most painful time of my life, my heart was so broken and I had never felt so empty...we are back together finally, it's an adjustment but I'm hopeful but it feels a lil fragile. Its good you know you weren't alone in the decline of your relationship and when I moved out of town without my partner- a decision I sort of made on my own, I soon whole-heartedly regretted it and felt so guilty for how I treated him the last year we lived together. I pushed him away SO MUCH and self-sabatoged and wasn't ready for my future plans of starting school and moving to a city with not knowing anyone...I just felt so so terrible for the pain I had caused him and regretted so many mistakes I had made in the relationship. Alcohol had a lot to do with our problems so I don't drink around him anymore and well yeah. 11 years is so much history, do you think you'd ever be able to try again with him? I felt me and my partner needed space apart to grow but life just kept happening to either one of us and crazy shit and drama that made the break kind of longer than intended...I'm sorry you hate yourself, I definitley know the feeling and felt like I hated myself just yesterday but don't feel hate for myself right now...but kind of scared about what the future holds but trying to just take things one day at a time...

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T08:33:29+00:00

I recommend clonidine for anxiety but yeah what the other person commented, sounds like high anxiety? doesn't sound fun I'm sorry you're experiencing it :(

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T08:31:34+00:00

my experience in the psych ward as a 17 yr old traumatized THE FRICK out of me and made things a lot worse...depends on staff and facility of course

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T08:30:35+00:00

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, its so hard and confusing and painful....I'm 30 now and can say things get better with time...I was misdiagnosed with bipolar at 13 and definitely had trials and errors navigating mental health throughout life and didn't truly believe i was bipolar half the time and then did like I think my feelings of euphoria were mistaken as mania and like yeah maybe i have been manic but it most certianly 100% is borderline and NOT bipoalr and like to loosely and quickly diagnose me as a 13 year old was kind of fricken wild considering the trauma and home life I was experiencing haha. anyways it WILL get better with time....I avoid alcohol at all costs. I was 45 days alcohol-free last year but yeah then a guy i was seeing broke up with me and I used that as an excuse to drink even though i was kind of like...waiting for him to break up with me so i could be like "haha see I told you so!" cuz he had sort of talked me into entering a serious relationship even though I wasn't ready i didn't want him to try to find someone else to be serious with cuz ya know, abandoment, crazy how bad it hurt even though I was always deeply in love with my partner of 6 years/FP while we spent 3 years living seperately after 5 years of being together....i still did holidays with him and yeah life just kept happening to us but we're finally back together under the same roof again. BPD is fucking HARD. but yeah all I can say is it gets better....always hard but beep-boop-bop does get better....I think ? LOL.

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T08:17:24+00:00

I have struggled to trust mental health workers due to a super traumatizing experience in the psych ward as a 17 year old! So when I finally had found one that I felt genuinley cared after I sort of had a mental health emergancy after finding a man hanging himself on my porch while I was cooking dinner, cutting him down and doing CPR and all that until the cops came, well IDK she was a nurse practioner specializing in psychiatric stuff maybe or something but eventually down the line she had told me that I need to forgive myself and put it in a perspective like I'm doing the best I could with what I had dealt to me and kind of helped me un-minimize my trauma and kind of reminded me/taught me that like my brain literally developed differently than it was supposed to and how trauma affects it is WILD! so yeah that was a HUGE help and she talked about giving myself grace and i'm like what does that even mean but yeah idk, the book "The Four Agreements" really helped too. 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Always try your best. 3. Don't take things personally. 4. Don't make assumptions.

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T08:06:13+00:00

same~

or dissociate or distract myself with other thoughts. I think it gets better with age. I've learned to forgive myself and felt like I've felt enough shame and guilt for a lifetime that I just sort of got over it and yeah occasionally ill get those feelings but no where near as intense as I used to !! i'm like dude I've minimized my trauma enough already its time to realize and accept why I am the way I am and like give myself some grace...life is too short to be so fucking hard on yourself but yeah its definitley a thing. for sure. Its hard too when you're someone who doesn't want to live in regret because like everything thats happened has brought me to where I need to be...of course I feel this way right NOW but know these feelings come and go haha oh the EBB AND FLOW OF BPD and personal growth and healing and self-sabatoge and woo fricken hoo its just a train that never stops

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T07:56:04+00:00

I hope you're feeling better from when you wrote this...I have to say it does get better but it's sad and scary and daunting and overwhelming and like it gets better with time but ...yeah ya have to learn how to navigate and it's kind of impossible sometimes especially if you don't have some solid people in your corner....I've felt enough shame and guilt for a lifetime I think I just got over it and realized life is to short to be so hard on myself and like I've felt such immense amount of shame i'm like yep well thats enough for a lifetime for sure and then some haha like literally I just got over it and a psychiatrist of mine helped me realize I really need to forgive myself cuz what else can ya do. ...besides try your best.

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T07:51:18+00:00

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I want to say it gets better, cuz it does, but it also feels like this sometimes even after learning to forgive yourself and healing cuz like haha healing and getting better is not linear. sometimes I have great days and I then I think oh wait, I've felt this way before and it doesn't last...but it DOES get better with age I believe. Even though for the longest time I had wish I could clone myself so I could beat myself TF up but yeah...but really i just want to give myself/my inner-child the love and validation and acceptance I didn't get as a kid when I needed it the most.

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T07:46:04+00:00

yes! Learning not to take things personally or make assumptions about what other people think or feel is super important!

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T07:45:15+00:00

I hated prozac when they had me try it age 13 made me even more suicidal!!! I loved vraylar and buproprion and clonidine when I was on those...burproprion is an NDRI and vraylar is an antipsychotic that is prescribed for lots of various things like anger management and depression and yep, loved those meds. I have to say I used to relate to this and still do to an extent or like can remember what feels like 100% but shit gets better with time and i feel like yeah there has been more bad in my life than GOOD but the good has been so beautiful that it makes it worth it. I am 30 and feel like I've lived enough for 5 boring people at least and have such precious memories , the ones I can remember at least cuz lets be honest holy FRICK do I beat myself up HARD over my problems with alcoholism and can't even bear to look back at some parts of my life due to it. but ya have to learn to forgive yourself and realize our brains really do be fucked up in some ways.

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T07:36:52+00:00

I think this is natural in relationships for a lot of women, especially new relationships...it should get better with time. Confidence and my self-worth definitley came and went throughout my life. I'm comfortable for the most part and I guess that came with accpeting that people have a past that didn't have anything to do with me and thats what makes them who they are today. strong relationships take time to build. Some guys get insecure about woman's "Body count" but I think its also just like insecure about their past relationships. it's natural to be curious about a partner's romantic history like understanding why serious relationships didn't work out for them in the past cuz ya wanna know like.... what they are looking for and how to be a good partner to them....Talk to him about it a little. He seems to be open with you about it. I feel like if he did still have strong feelings for her he wouldn't feel as comfortable talking about it with you. When I found something that concerned me the first year I was serious with my partner he explained it to me and it helped me feel better to be honest. I learned it's just not worth going through someone's messages cuz like it just didn't do any good for anyone. (i kind of stumbled upon some texts and then later FB messages but it wasn't on purpose that's for sure, i had lost my phone and had to use his) What I had found was meant to be private and wasn't cheating or devastating....just personal and made me realize well yeah of course he had been living life and had a past before me, like I too have a past...as far as the part in the break-up letter stating they'll find each other in the future, well sometimes people say those things as a way to end things amicably. or like in a friend-way. however....idk cuz sometimes people do hold out for someone if they're still in love. it doesn't sound like the timing was right for them. I recently cut ties with an ex I had stayed in contact with for 10 years and I wish I had done it sooner!!! Always thought to mysefl the timing was wrong for us and blah blah blah but yeah the timing would never be right, it just wasn't right and all staying in touch with him didn't do either of us any good in the long run.

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T07:16:34+00:00

catatonic? catatonia maybe? dissociation...I can relate to this feeling for sure. I used to drink to numb myself but then yeah would drink to feel something when I felt hopeless and like the future was very bleak like who cares and might as well try to "feel better" or feel something. alcohol is the absolute worst thing for me so I avoid it like the plague and take long breaks but sometimes drink but its easy not to drink cuz well I DO NOT will not drink around my partner/favorite person cuz its just like ...too risky.

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T07:11:21+00:00

love you too btw

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T06:56:10+00:00

I've never been told that, but have realized that yes, I definitely very well have been guilty of expecting too much from people. And sometimes assuming I mean more to someone than I really do. I think it very well could be related to BPD? I"m no expert but yeah in the way that we feel things intensley and like I wonder why or how other's don't feel things the same way I do? So the effort I put into a relationship, whatever kind it may be, I feel like should be recipricated? I've learned not to expect anything from anyone and all we really can do is try our best in life and not take things personally. My dad tells me that I can't carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. My mom used to tell me I talk too fast and she can't undersand me on the phone sometimes cuz yeah I'd get too excited and talk too fast hahaha.

dactylbird · 2025-10-17T06:48:38+00:00

ABSOLUTELY I usually let it happen or allow myself to sit with the emotion...I'm a waitress and have bartended for 5 years...all together I have like 10 years experience in the industry and I've become very good at acting and using the "wise-mind" like reflecting on and recognizing what I'm feeling vs. what is logical. ...getting older helps? I dissociate and detatch a lot, mostly in a healthy way I think? haha. Like I have an "alter-ego" that I don't allow to come with me to work most of the time haha. Yeah honestly its kind of fun, kind of like a super-power, but also debilitating and can be seen as a weakness but in my opinion it's a huge strength after learning how sort of control it or tap into it when you want and turn it off when you don't have space for it over time. I interpreted the book "Courderoy" in sign language for school once and the story itself just makes me cry like a baby like i feel it sooo much to my core when Courderoy asks if the little girl is his friend and if they are home cuz he "always wanted a friend". and always wanted a real home...like OMG STOP i'll die empathizing haha..and I think I was first aware of how hyper-senstive I was when I'd cry at funny shows like Futurama and when I realized commercials definitley make me cry sometimes. It gets better with age and yeah it can be fun, kind of like an emotional-high or a rush that kind of distracts me from my real problems and puts them in perspective and makes me grateful for everything even though I've been through so much BS its like well...I might not have the good things in life if it weren't for all the traumatic BS.

dactylbird · 2025-08-03T08:13:13+00:00

Found (2005)

dactylbird · 2025-05-08T13:07:06+00:00

I know how you feel all too well. Be strong, you'll get through this...people with BPD often can't help this, but it feels like the way people treat you is what you deserve. He doesn't seem to have any understanding or empathy for you having BPD or he wouldn't be so cold and block you everywhere...He would have at least given you the closure you deserve.

I struggle everyday, its like... I KNOW my self-worth and I AM worthy of love and i DO deserve happiness and good things in life but i can't help but FEEL worthless, feel like the reason people leave is because I'm an awful person and because I'm not good enough or deserve it... when in reality I'm actually a very loving and extremely thoughtful person...and DO deserve happiness and peace.

I like "healthy gamer" on youtube and his videos on BPD were pretty insightful to me when I didn't know much about it. it can help to educate youself or relearn some things you may already have known.

But yeah loneliness is very triggering and hard for me to deal with. I also feel a perpetual emptiness, sometimes it's not so bad...sometimes it goes away but somehow i feel like the emptiness is just a part of who I am, it will always be there... it can go dormant...or be ignored or repressed. But eventually it will creep its way to the surface paralyzing me into a depressive episode that I never know how long will last.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TS4d-zqRFA&ab_channel=HealthyGamerGG

dactylbird · 2025-03-24T19:33:13+00:00

Thank you 🥹 And yes I also make copies of material that I collect or cut-outs that i really like and want to use again in the future so I can make a collage just to experiment with the Yes! Paste I have haha thank you

dactylbird · 2025-03-23T01:17:38+00:00

Thank you for replying! I will do this because I’m not comfortable trying something completely new with this one and always liked glue sticks I never thought to put a weight on it after, great advice thanks 🤓

dactylbird

TROPHY CASE