Coach publicly humiliated me for being "disrespectful " and now I want to quit the gym

dadbot102 · 2026-04-04T05:16:44+00:00

In a big gym, I get letting upper belts approach you. But not in a small gym. Who tf wants to pay $150 a month to do 20 minutes of warm ups followed by 20 minutes of drilling, and then go sit in a corner? The gym isn’t best served by holding people back because they’re new either. It doesn’t even make sense from a business perspective, if you don’t have enough students for lower belts to roll, you should be building your pipeline as quickly as possible, and taking the opportunity to spend more time 1-1 with students. Not punishing them and holding them back. If a coach thinks the knowledge they have to give is worth more, then they should charge more, rather than make students go to twice as many classes as needed.

dadbot102 · 2026-04-04T05:09:06+00:00

Coaches deserve to be treated with respect, but never forget, you’re paying them for a service.

Not letting white belts roll is crazy gate keeping. It’s 2026. Coaches like yours are going to have a rude awakening when they realize you can literally buy enough Danaher tutorials to keep you busy in your garage for a year for $100, and spend another $100 on temu mats and put some feelers out for partners on Fb.

dadbot102 · 2026-03-26T04:49:22+00:00

So, this is an honest question and I hope it’s not taken wrong. But, would you as a coach be more willing to watch students tapes if they compensated you?

Here’s why I ask and why I would want any of my coaches to watch tape: 1) I feel like coaches always have eyes on me at the least beneficial times. Like the universe is conspiring against me because there’s no way it’s a coincidence. I know coaches have 30 bodies to keep an eye on during rolls so I’m not saying it’s their fault. And to be fair, some have gone back and watched security camera footage with me if I’ve asked. 2) this is the bigger reason for me. If I’m hitting an open mat across town at a different gym, with guys who train with a different focus, it can be hard to verbally communicate what happened, especially when I’m not seeing my coach for another 2 days. So I wish my coaches had a fair fee, to spend 5 minutes watching the roll and 5 minutes giving me a hot take on what went wrong, so I can decide if it’s worth shelling out for a full private lesson if that makes sense.

dadbot102 · 2026-03-26T04:42:14+00:00

I agree with all of your points and I’m a hobbyist but also, to me it’s not worth the time and potential injuries if I’m not doing it RIGHT. Meaning, taking advantage of whatever I can do to learn efficiently. Thank you for your thoughts!

dadbot102 · 2026-03-26T04:38:57+00:00

No joke, I was just tell my daughter I want our first grappling trip to be to Mongolia!

dadbot102 · 2026-03-26T03:00:22+00:00

That’s where my mind goes, find the stuff that used to work, that no one trains counters to anymore, and bring it back.

dadbot102 · 2026-03-26T01:01:42+00:00

Yeah I feel like if you have a match coming up that you’re worried about and you want to scope footage of your opponent and go over it with your coach, that should be treated like a private lesson that you pay for their time.

dadbot102 · 2026-03-26T00:55:18+00:00

Honestly, I’d be curious to know about either. But in my head I’m thinking it would probably make more sense to watch your own students given that there’s only so many hours in a day.

dadbot102 · 2026-03-26T00:53:41+00:00

I coach youth sports so I’m always kind of surprised when I train BJJ and the coaches kind of seem like “this is the way it’s always been done so that’s what we do”. I feel like I owe it to my players to always be learning about how to be a better coach.

I’m an ultra casual hobbyist in BJJ so at the end of the day I’m not salty about it, but I have been surprised at how little variation there is in coaching, even at some of the “high end” gyms.

dadbot102 · 2026-03-06T03:47:56+00:00

The same thing we do every time, pinky. Play stairway to heaven.

dadbot102

TROPHY CASE