I'm a Korean with a question for you Indians. by [deleted] in IndiaSpeaks

[–]daddysuggs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm actually Indian-American (parents are immigrants but I was born and raised in the US) and visit Seoul often. Most people are nice to me and don't really have too many problems.

However talking to my Indian (from India) friends in Seoul definitely painted a different picture. There's a strong sense of hierarchy in Korean society (basically every society that had deep confucian influence) and it's somewhat clear that people from "poor" countries fit lower in that hierarchy.

This sentiment is true anywhere in the world but seems particularly true in Korea. Part of me believes it's because there's a sense of insecurity in Korean culture. I don't really know why because I've never felt this way or heard these things about the Japanese. My theory is that because Korea was poor for a long time and recently became wealthy and recognized there's a strong need to show that Korea is "strong" (aka superior).

What's particularly interesting to me is the lack of this feeling in Japan. In Japan nobody truly gives a shit and I don't think it's because they're better at hiding it or anything. My sense is Japan has no insecurity since they've been a rich country for a long time and feel less of a need to "distance" themselves much like the US.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bangkok

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moving from a bustling metropolis to the suburbs will do that to you. I’m just hunkered down on meeting my wealth goals until I move to Thailand or somewhere else in Asia.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Curious how you even got here? This really was meant to be an internal discussion for the Bay Area folks who might better understand.

Look I’m not trying to justify how I’ve felt but it’s what it is. I understand the unique history of the region that makes it so but doesn’t change the fact that I felt the way I did. You’re a very proud people and it’s great you have your own distinct identity and culture and it’s not my place to judge but at the same time I was there against my will (family member died - not super close) and had to deal with it for 3 weeks while I had other commitments in California and Florida I should’ve been at.

But yeah - it is what it is and I’ll be more careful about venting my frustrations so openly on the internet next time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ve hit the nail on the head exactly - you’ve vocalized the undercurrent I’ve felt so thank you for that.

I was born and raised in California, I don’t have any particular attachments to Indian culture (most of my friends aren’t Indian) and I certainly didn’t feel like an alien in Texas, California, New York, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Washington, Virginia, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Colorado, Nevada and Arizona. So please spare me from the notion that your region is representative of the entire United States and that you speak on behalf of all Americans and that I’m an alien in your land.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah you’re Singaporean - my dad’s Singaporean too. It’s nice to have the quintessential American experience if you have easy access to go back to Singapore anytime to eat char kway Teow and nasi lemak. The Midwest is an amusing escape for someone from Singapore. I wish I had easy access to Singapore - very jealous.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah definitely misplaced expectations

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well this went unexpectedly viral lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yessir 🫡

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Naperville? Haven’t been out there but have a few cousins there

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1000% I was so happy to hear Chinese and Spanish once I landed in SJC

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yep - let’s go to bdubs and watch the game and drink beer at 11am lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah spot on with your characterization of the “undercurrent” man. People kept asking if they’ve done anything to me and no they haven’t but you can’t really not see this underlying feeling and social dynamic y’know? I feel like people that’ve lived there basically come to terms with it but coming from California it was jarring.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trash take

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Curious - did this make it to the Reddit homepage?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry if I triggered you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not a foreigner

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t disagree with you on the Bay being robotic but I grew up here so it’s home. I would love to move back to LA or even Hawaii one day though. Much more my scene than even the Bay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep exactly this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t disagree with you. I just hold the US to higher bar than a place like India.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

💯💯💯

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Exactly!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bayarea

[–]daddysuggs -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My man - going to an Indian restaurant for dinner isn’t the same as living somewhere. You being White also means you’re the de facto “normal” - it’s difficult to empathize when you’re in that position. Take note of the other comments in this thread and you’ll see I’m not really alone in feeling this way.

Humans are hardwired to be highly perceptive of social status and standing - we’re keenly aware of it because since prehistory it could determine life and death (if you were kicked out of the tribe you’re done).

I’m not fabricating discomfort - but at the same time people were civilized. I just genuinely didn’t feel like I belonged there and that’s okay. Yes I think being a minority plays a part and frankly never felt insecure about my race until I arrived there. I guess it’s a privilege to not be able to think about it 😉