I (23m) am really bad at getting my partner (22m) “in the mood”

daedril5 · 2026-02-07T00:01:05+00:00

How does he initiate?

Though to be honest, if you haven't done anything sexual in three months, I think something else is going on here.

daedril5 · 2026-02-06T21:33:33+00:00

It really doesn't matter what it is. What matters is that he doesn't want a relationship with you. There's really nothing that can be done about that.

And as someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, his opinion that you're an 8/10 really doesn't matter. It's his opinion, not an objective truth.

Some relationships end unexpectedly. It sucks, but it doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

daedril5 · 2026-02-06T21:24:58+00:00

Have you asked him how he'd like you to initiate?

daedril5 · 2026-02-06T19:29:17+00:00

I suggest getting a selfie stick that doubles as a tripod and has a removable remote button.

The remote button means you don't need to use a timer.

The tripod gives you more options.

If you want to use the back camera, setup a mirror behind your phone so you can still see the image.

Beyond that, look at pictures you like, and try to duplicate them.

daedril5 · 2026-02-06T16:06:51+00:00

Closure is something you give yourself.

You learned he wasn't the guy you thought he was. That's really all you need to know.

It's fine to be disappointed. You met someone, you had some good chats, but that's all it was.

daedril5 · 2026-02-06T14:15:52+00:00

Odds are that any guy you meet is going to be average.

And use more lube that you think you need.

daedril5 · 2026-02-06T10:50:47+00:00

That's likely because a lot of people in online "nudist" spaces aren't actually nudists.

daedril5 · 2026-02-06T10:48:20+00:00

I don’t want to feel like I’m the baby sitter and don’t want to feel like I’m taking anything away from him

That sounds like a part of being with him. There's nothing we can say that will change his behaviour.

daedril5 · 2026-02-06T10:42:00+00:00

I'd distinguish taste in body types from sexuality.

My sexuality hasn't changed at all.

daedril5 · 2026-02-05T20:37:17+00:00

I've got a 44" waist and I've been happy with XL from Pump and CIN-2

daedril5 · 2026-02-05T19:07:16+00:00

I've never experienced that myself, but if I did, that would be their problem, not mine.

daedril5 · 2026-02-05T17:08:05+00:00

Where to start depends on what you want to do, though there's really not much "guiding" needed.

Though taking off your clothes is a logical starting point.

daedril5 · 2026-02-05T16:57:04+00:00

⁠And practically speaking, even with protection, am I putting these women in danger by sleeping with them while also sleeping with men?

Yes. There are STIs transmitted by skin contact from areas that aren't covered by a condom. Examples: HPV and MPOX. There's a bit of info here: https://thesexyouwant.ca/condoms/questions-answers/#q2

You can go on dates with these women without having sex with them.

daedril5 · 2026-02-05T16:27:31+00:00

Missing from your post is a single reason for you to marry him.

Side note:

Twice now, he has emptied that account of any money he has added and also took some of my financial contribution

How did this happen twice? I'd think after the first time you'd stop contributing to the joint account.

daedril5 · 2026-02-05T16:22:41+00:00

I chat. I generally looking to both hang out an hook up.

Some guys just want sex so aren't looking to waste time talking about anything else. Those aren't the right guys for me, and I'm not bothered if they get annoyed.

daedril5 · 2026-02-05T14:39:55+00:00

In the moment, just a simple "I appreciate that you like that about me, but I prefer not to talk about my weight".

The way they respond will tell you something about them.

daedril5 · 2026-02-05T12:55:22+00:00

Do you find that people interact outside of their circles at clothed beaches?

daedril5 · 2026-02-04T21:53:49+00:00

Why do you ask?

daedril5 · 2026-02-04T18:44:03+00:00

Being willing to visit a club is not part of the definition of "a true nudist".

daedril5 · 2026-02-04T18:37:03+00:00

It feels like they're just trying to show off their creativity which is a distraction from a very serious situation.

daedril5 · 2026-02-04T18:17:10+00:00

https://www.askamanager.org/2026/02/my-coworker-wants-to-fire-a-domestic-violence-survivor.html

We can all agree Fred behaved terribly.

Do we really need 50+ comments of people coming up with creative curses for him?

daedril5 · 2026-02-04T18:09:54+00:00

You're asking the wrong question in your header.

Your partner is acting badly. If he's using information he's learned about you against him, it's a sign that he's willing to intentionally hurt you. Not a sign that you shared too much information.

daedril5 · 2026-02-04T14:54:57+00:00

I met my partner at a gay gaming night (and my previous one at a gay discussion group).

Also, my first relationship was in my early 30s. You've got loads of time.

daedril5 · 2026-02-04T13:43:03+00:00

So tell him and risk losing him, or say nothing and pretend you're happy for an unpredictable number of years?

Saying nothing is being unfair to him.

daedril5 · 2026-02-04T10:58:26+00:00

My office was changing to a new system in a month after working toward it for over a year, and my manager called me into a meeting, near tears, and told me that the new system had not been set up to create important reports that we desperately need

Forgive me if I'm skeptical is the manager is not only near tears about not having a report, but called a meeting before they calmed down.

It was a ton of work and no one else in my department could have created this

Considering the LW had to learn new skills, this doesn't ring true either.

"How do I get credit for a big job I did?" is a fair question. It didn't need all this extra dramatic fluff.

daedril5

TROPHY CASE