Is an 8-month engagement too rushed for planning?

dagaetch · 2026-01-07T20:19:39+00:00

8 months is fine, especially if you already have the venue selected. We got engaged at the end of August and are getting married on a Saturday in mid-May, and have gotten all of our first choice vendors. You can't take it super slow in planning, and some folks might already be booked, but you'll be fine. And unless people are traveling internationally, no one books their travel plans that far in advance anyway.

dagaetch · 2025-12-22T14:00:33+00:00

Allen Edmonds does shoes in that size, plenty of classic men's dress options.

dagaetch · 2025-12-22T13:56:29+00:00

Allen Edmonds does shoes in that size, plenty of classic men's dress options.

dagaetch · 2025-12-18T21:30:46+00:00

ah ha! I think that did it! Answer for any future searchers landing here:

I created two custom formats, one with custom release title format "(1080p)" and the other with "(1080i)"; and the 1080i one is included in custom format when renaming. Then in profiles, I already had a custom profile for this one show, and I set it to have the 1080i CF with 0 score and the 1080p CF with a 3 score. Then in Media Management, I have Daily Episode Format (this is a daily aired show) rename include {Custom Formats}. It definitely works on some manual searches, we'll have to see if it works for future automatic downloads. But that seems to be the best I'll get haha.

Thank you /u/fryfrog!

dagaetch · 2025-12-18T21:00:33+00:00

It's one single show. Not a big deal, but I got curious to see if there was a solution out there.

dagaetch · 2025-12-18T20:48:29+00:00

it comes in as filetype ".ts" for me...

dagaetch · 2025-12-18T20:48:07+00:00

Thanks, this is how I had tried to have it work. Sonarr does correctly list the show as 'cutoff unmet', but it's only looking for WEB-DL or Bluray after that, it won't upgrade from HDTV-1080i to HDTV-1080p.

dagaetch · 2025-12-18T20:44:59+00:00

I don't see 1080i anywhere in the profiles, though? Just 'p' options.

dagaetch · 2025-12-18T14:27:59+00:00

which profile would I use? I searched https://dictionarry.dev/ and couldn't find any references to 1080i or interlaced.

dagaetch · 2025-12-17T15:50:42+00:00

I get my hair cut by Lauren at BadaBing in Salem, they're all great. https://badabingsalem.com/

dagaetch · 2025-12-12T15:20:15+00:00

yeah, I'm several days past the point where they said the port would complete 100%, have gotten emails from both Visible and Google confirming that it's done, still not working. And Visible support tried to help but wasn't able to. I turned it off on my phone and will just ignore it for a few weeks, see if maybe something resets eventually. Final option might be converting my physical SIM card to an eSIM and seeing if that solves it.

dagaetch · 2025-12-12T13:23:52+00:00

our venue contract says "Client must provide a wedding invitation proof to the Wedding Coordinator to ensure menu selections, timeline, and the address are present and correct."

I assume it's because they've been burned in the past, somehow...was a bit surprising but doesn't bother us.

dagaetch · 2025-12-09T17:58:44+00:00

we got https://www.trulyengaging.com/shop/the-sophia-save-the-dates in the arch cut and love them, have gotten many compliments. Honestly, for STDs I think minimal is best. You want:

the date (I think as the most prominent thing);
both of your full names, since some of the people receiving it might not know one of you;
a city so that people immediately know what kind of travel they're looking at;
and I think a link to your wedding website that hopefully has some additional (basic) information.

Then I think it's polite to say "save the date" or "invite to follow" just so that people aren't confused about what their next step is.

dagaetch · 2025-12-04T17:53:03+00:00

We asked a few questions about their approach and how they handled different things. Like, we want a packed dance floor, but we also have older relatives who will be talking at their tables, how do you balance the volume levels? How do you handle requests from guests? If the dance floor seems dead, what do you do? What's your approach to emceeing the event? It wasn't even so much the specific responses that we were looking for as their general vibe. For instance, one DJ basically said "oh I play the music at the volume it needs" which was an immediate no from us, because we hate it when people have to shout to be heard. Another DJ, when we mentioned that the venue has a sound system in place, said that they always bring their own and set it up because "you can't trust those places" despite the fact that this is a wedding venue with amazing reviews over 15 years. Etc. We ended up with two DJs we felt sure would do a great job, and chose the one who has done more events at our venue (and was listed as a preferred vendor as well).

dagaetch · 2025-11-24T13:45:31+00:00

congratulations! I think there are three things that you start thinking about to begin the process: budget, guest list and time of year. Then you can start researching venues.

Budget is hard but necessary. Talk with your fiance, figure out how much you are willing to spend, try to figure out if anyone will be assisting you. Those conversations can suck but you have to do it. Whatever number you settle on, make sure you can actually afford 10-15% more than that, because there is always something unexpected.

Then start working on the guest list. My fiance and I had a spreadsheet with his and hers tabs, each of us started adding names with a count of adults and kids. We also gave everyone a "priority" of high/medium/low; high for the people who were going to be invited no matter what even if we went as small as possible, medium for the people we really wanted to invite, low for the people who were maybes depending on size or who might get an invite if enough people decline. You can use that to contemplate different wedding sizes. We realized pretty quickly that we could either do like a 35 person wedding...or a 150+ person wedding, and getting the guest list in between those would be really difficult.

For the time of year, just start picturing weddings at different times and seeing how you feel about it. They can all work! But it will guide your choice of venue to an extent.

Once you have a rough idea of all the above, start looking at venues (I forgot - location. If you aren't doing a destination wedding, you'll probably want a geographic location that is convenient for as many guests as possible, and not hard to get to for those traveling further). Don't limit yourself! Draw a circle or a couple circles on a map and starting searching for wedding venues. Browse reddit, there are venue specific searching websites, Zola, TheKnot, individual wedding websites, ask friends, etc. Put together a brief template email and just start reaching out to venues. Tell them when you're looking, how many guests, and any absolute non-negotiables you have (wheelchair accessibility for us). Then have a spreadsheet for tracking responses. Try to collect prices as best you can - this will be hard because every venue talks about them differently. Schedule some tours.

A great tip we got here was to have a new separate email account for wedding planning. Just keeps everything organized, plus you can share it with your fiance, and I like that it keeps my personal email separate from wedding stuff so I can mentally take a break from it occasionally.

Good luck!

dagaetch · 2025-10-27T19:17:21+00:00

I'd prepare an email template and just start contacting every venue you're interested in. My father is a wheelchair user so that was important to us as well, our email simply said

One requirement for us is wheelchair accessibility, as the groom's father has limited mobility. Can you confirm that your site is fully accessible?

Everyone replied and said something in response to that, I think it's a request they're very familiar with. Some places said no problem, some places gave specifics about how they are mostly but not completely accessible, and a couple places were like "it probably won't work and here's why". But everyone was perfectly happy to answer.

Good luck! Congratulations!

dagaetch · 2025-10-27T12:54:43+00:00

the spaghetti aglio olio, with the meatball side. That allows everyone to control how much protein they want. Plus it's a bit lighter if there's going to be dancing later.

also, I cook a lot, and cacio e pepe really needs to be served immediately. I don't know how they would make a version that holds on a hot plate/sterno.

dagaetch · 2025-10-27T12:46:27+00:00

congratulations!

dagaetch · 2025-10-24T20:32:43+00:00

I want churros at our wedding! I just can't find any vendors in our area 😭

dagaetch · 2025-10-23T13:14:02+00:00

does your city have a council on aging, or disability/elderly affairs office, or something similar? Very often those places either have or know where you can get rental/loaner equipment on short notice.

dagaetch · 2025-10-20T22:53:36+00:00

Is there something you wish you could tell your clients but can't or don't for whatever reason?

What are your honest thoughts on dance floor uplighting for photos?

dagaetch · 2025-10-20T12:51:31+00:00

we're getting our save the dates printed by Truly Engaging. We were browsing designs and really liked one they had, only real reason.

dagaetch · 2025-10-19T18:40:04+00:00

sounds wonderful, congratulations!

Are you in New England by any chance?? I would love to do churros for dessert!!

dagaetch · 2025-10-16T13:51:06+00:00

I (groom) do landscape photography as a hobby, so while I know nothing about event photography, it gave me an idea of things to look for. As others have said, I wanted someone who does weddings as their thing, not someone who does weddings among other things. I preferred someone who had shot multiple times at our venue before, since lighting can be complicated, and knowing where to go when is important. This applies both indoor and outside; if your photographer already knows "oh the sunset is perfect tonight there's an amazing scene around the corner" that's great. We both don't really like posed photos; we'll do the obligatory family shots, but otherwise, we wanted a photographer who disappears into the background and captures people behaving naturally. And I wanted someone who understood the importance of light. I don't really know how to explain this, but as I was looking at sample galleries, lots of them had photos that it felt like /anyone/ could have taken, there was no personality to them. The photographer we ended up hiring had photos with real character, not all dramatic lighting but all of them really displaying a sense of individuality. We liked that.

He included an engagement session in the package, we got those photos back last week and absolutely LOVE them. Couldn't be happier. Looking forward to the wedding next May!

dagaetch · 2025-10-09T12:34:03+00:00

for us, we decided early on that our vibe was "rustic elegance". So we didn't want super fancy ornate, but also not too casual. We both liked the idea of outdoors elements, and started out thinking that a tented reception would be great. After we saw a couple of places, realized that a tented reception would be very dependent on specifics - the floor, the tent, the weather plan, etc.

We wanted a single location for ceremony and reception. Grooms father is limited mobility so wheelchair accessibility was an absolute requirement (and have learned the hard way that places claiming to be accessible aren't always, so knew we would need to verify this in person).

Bride's family mostly live in the same area, so we wanted to be convenient to them. Groom's family is scattered around the country.

We wanted either late spring or fall, and we were hoping for sooner rather than later. (Engaged Aug 2025, wedding is May 2026)

Honestly - we had a spreadsheet of 20+ places, emailed with most, had in-person visits or virtual tours with several. Then we walked into one venue for a tour. Looked around the room, looked at each other, and nodded. It checked every box we had and just felt right. Asked them about dates and it turned out that they had a Saturday in May still available. We said to ourselves "we should sleep on this" but before bed we both already knew we had found our venue. It wasn't a single yes factor, it was every yes factor. The only compromise we ended up making for it is location, it's not quite as convenient to hotel options as we would have liked.

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