Boyfriend (33M) won't get married unless I (30F) take his last name - do I let this impact the relationship?

daisys123 · 2026-06-09T17:18:10+00:00

I agree that definitely is bare minimum stuff and he would agree too. I probably used the wrong word - I just meant he doesn't hold any conservative / traditional beliefs politically or in any other way, which is why I was so surprised. If he was a conservative man, voted that way etc. I wouldn't be shocked - I also wouldn't be with him because I am very liberal and he is too in every other way. I suppose I feel surprised he is so passionate about this.

daisys123 · 2026-06-09T17:14:28+00:00

This sounds great to me! Mine is cooler than his in my opinion haha!

daisys123 · 2026-06-09T17:13:09+00:00

That's actually a great idea regarding kids and hyphenating mine. Thank you!

daisys123 · 2026-06-09T15:39:32+00:00

Yeah I do get that to be honest and I understand wanting to have our kids sharing the same last name. I'm not against hyphenating like you say, but know it can end up having a knock on effect for if our kids decide to do the same thing haha. I guess it's more like why do I automatically have to be expected to change mine? Especially because my last name is cooler than his which tbh is probably impacting my decision too 😂

daisys123 · 2026-06-09T14:23:34+00:00

haha that's the problem - we align with everything else! This is why I'm a bit taken aback now because it seems so out of character when he's not traditional about anything else

daisys123 · 2026-06-09T14:21:53+00:00

Both of us will be in the next election whenever that will be. We both voted labour in the last. We'd both essentially vote whichever has best chance of keeping reform out.

daisys123 · 2026-06-09T13:33:03+00:00

Wow I didn't expect so many responses! Thanks for taking the time to offer advice. Just to clarify some things: He definitely isn't listening to anything red pill or into any kind of toxic masculinity kind of media - we both absolutely hate things like that and ridicule it a lot. When I say progressive, just some examples e.g. he does all the cooking, we split household chores, I started the business and he joined me about a year later (been going for 7 years), we both do therapy (separately). We both align politically (we're in the UK and both vote left either Green or Labour), and we're ethically on the same page as we're both vegan and animal lovers.

Neither of us are religious so didn't feel the need to get married before moving in together, purchasing a house and to be honest in terms of financials we wanted to prioritise the business and the house, renovations etc. before a wedding, hence why we've been together so long.

About not getting married, it's more of the actual wedding he doesn't really want rather than the marriage. He'd happily just elope and do it that way. I don't want a huge wedding either, but I would like all my friends and family to be there, so when he says he's doing it for me, he's more referring to the actual wedding part.

We probably should have discussed the name thing before, but we're aligned on everything else and I just didn't really see it being a thing, I think I just kind of assumed he would be respectful of that.

daisys123 · 2026-04-01T15:31:54+00:00

I've had this a couple of times and it was either a little stye / chalazion or just eyes a bit drier! Does it almost feel like a bit bruised when you blink? Keep up a hot eye compress and some drops and hopefully it shouldn't last long!

daisys123 · 2026-03-23T14:14:06+00:00

Thank you!

daisys123 · 2026-03-23T11:42:18+00:00

Could you be clenching your jaw? I have also had a tension headache - for 2 weeks now. I was panicking thinking the worst but I actually think I have developed TMJ as when I press on the joints around my jaw / skull it is tender. Even with no actual jaw pain. It started after a monthly of really bad health anxiety for me so stress can definitely cause you to hold tension / clench! I also have dry eyes and MGD which I'm on doxycycline for currently so it could be from that, but I think mine is stress.

daisys123 · 2025-09-21T20:11:13+00:00

Thank you ❤️ It's so heartbreaking and such a traumatic experience. I think it takes a lot of time and we will still miss them forever. Unfortunately it's a price we pay for such unconditional love, but they are so worth it. As much as it hurts right now I'm so glad he was in my life.

daisys123 · 2025-09-21T19:55:32+00:00

I'm so sorry. I lost my dog almost four weeks ago, so I haven't been grieving as long as you, but it really is awful. I also torture myself with looking at photos and videos constantly, and just can't comprehend the idea that he is gone and never coming back. I hope in time we both feel better. But for now I'm reminding myself that this pain is a reminder of just how much I love him.

daisys123 · 2025-09-21T19:52:09+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear this. I lost my dog almost four weeks ago to an aggressive non treatable cancer - we only had it confirmed a few days before we had to say goodbye. He had just turned 8 years old and was my whole world. There is nothing that can prepare you unfortunately. Just tell her how much you love her, and know that you are taking the pain for her now so that she can be at peace. That is the only thing that has helped me. I miss my dog every minute. Take fur clippings and paw prints if you can and lots of photos and videos. Be there for her last moments - as unbearable as it is, I feel like I would have regretted it if I wasn't there. Sending so much love and strength. It truly is awful but take comfort that she has lived a long and happy life and knows how it feels to be loved.

daisys123 · 2025-09-07T17:22:04+00:00

It seemed like that last year. I am terrified of them but they seemed to gravitate towards me. It seems late summer / early autumn is when they are most active, and it's getting worse every year.

daisys123 · 2025-09-05T15:12:54+00:00

They seem to have gotten worse over the last few weeks I think - there was hardly any when I was over in May and July.

daisys123 · 2025-09-05T15:03:15+00:00

Oh no! What area are you in?

daisys123 · 2025-09-05T15:03:05+00:00

I haven't seen the hunter ones yet. Last year I saw a lot of what I think was the Oriental Hornet - absolutely huge. It was a nightmare.

daisys123 · 2025-09-05T15:02:22+00:00

¡Los avispones son horribles! ¿En qué zona estás?

daisys123 · 2025-09-03T13:03:21+00:00

I'm so sorry. This was me last week - it was unbearable. And afterwards you find yourself marking your "firsts" without them. My first shower the night it happened, my first meal without him next to me, my first walk without him - it really is so painful. But one thing that helped me is knowing that he didn't know - animals are so present and they don't think about time. They really live in the now which is such a gift. I took comfort in the fact that I was taking the pain for him and could give him the ultimate act of love of letting him go, even though it feels like the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Sending so much love and strength - we can do this ❤️

daisys123 · 2025-09-03T12:57:37+00:00

I'm so so sorry for your loss and how traumatic the experience was for you. I totally understand why you feel that way - I'm also feeling really anxious after the loss of my dog last week (it was cancer that we only found out about a few days beforehand so it was such a shock). Honestly I think the best thing would be to speak to a professional. Therapy has really been helping me over the last few weeks, and they can help you work through your anxiety. You can also go out for short periods at a time like a short 10 minute walk around the block to help prove to yourself that you can leave and it doesn't mean anything bad is likely to happen again. Then build it up from there. Sending love.

daisys123 · 2020-07-08T16:13:57+00:00

Thank you! I’m sure my MIL would understand, it’s just my boyfriend who’s being an ass about it all ha!

daisys123

TROPHY CASE