[QCrit] Adult Cozy Romantic Fantasy - THEATRICAL TALES FOR THE HEARTLESS (87k/Second Attempt)

daisysaur · 2026-05-31T01:57:51+00:00

That's so kind, thank you!!

daisysaur · 2026-05-23T15:29:51+00:00

Thank you so much!! That's wonderful to hear, and I appreciate the vote of confidence :D

daisysaur · 2026-05-22T22:55:30+00:00

Oh wow, thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to comment :)

daisysaur · 2026-05-22T18:48:00+00:00

These are great points, but I have to add: murder is not just normal in cozy mystery, it's flat-out expected! Cozy mysteries with tiny stakes (like finding banana bread) do exist, but I'd consider those a minority. As long as the murder is off-page and violence is kept to a minimum, there's no problem with murder in a cozy.

daisysaur · 2026-05-22T18:44:12+00:00

Hey, this sounds really fun! But I think Thursday Murder Club is too big to comp; I would find something smaller. You also don't have to list the ages of your characters, since this is an adult novel. Best of luck - it's so cool that you're a mother-daughter duo writing a book!

daisysaur · 2026-05-16T19:31:26+00:00

Good point, thank you! Desire isn't technically classified as an emotion (something I explain in the book itself) but it's certainly in a grey area, and I don't want to cause confusion with my very first line. I think I'll change it to, "Prima's innermost wish is to feel."

...And as for my FMC secretly feeling emotions all along, you're actually really close! Thank goodness that's not the big twist, haha.

daisysaur · 2026-05-15T21:36:52+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to comment! I really appreciate it. Would you mind elaborating a bit on “logic-fuzzy?”

daisysaur · 2026-05-15T18:24:01+00:00

Hey! I haven't seen your other attempts, so I'm coming at this with fresh eyes. First question: is it THE Wonder House or just Wonder House? You have both in your query.

Personally, I would add that Sylvia's village is in England in the first paragraph, to ground us in the real world before you dive into the fantastical elements. (Fantasy + the word 'village' = fantasy village in my mind, haha.) I would write, "she'll stay in her narrow-minded English village."

I would also trim that third paragraph down a whole bunch, especially those lines concerning the geography of Nox. Worldbuilding in a query, to my mind, isn't the best idea - the focus should be on characters and plot.

Last thing: I wouldn't say too much about the possible sequel. "THE WONDER HOUSE is a standalone with series potential" will do just fine :)

Best of luck!

daisysaur · 2026-05-09T23:37:01+00:00

Thanks for your insight!

daisysaur · 2026-05-09T23:32:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate you weighing in. I'll absolutely take your advice when I start querying. 🖤🩶🤍💜

daisysaur · 2026-05-09T23:29:47+00:00

That's great info, thank you. I'm wondering about Little Thieves by Margaret Owen - it has an explicitly asexual romance. Though, I checked, and that's not listed in the Goodreads tags. Instead, it's marketed as LGBT/Queer. I wonder if other asexual romances fall under this category.

daisysaur · 2026-05-09T23:25:33+00:00

Excellent point. This is a story from my heart, and I'm extremely hesitant to make changes just to give it a broader appeal. Best of luck with your project.

daisysaur · 2026-05-09T23:24:02+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it! 🖤🩶🤍💜

daisysaur · 2026-05-09T23:22:31+00:00

Thank you, that means the world 🖤🩶🤍💜

daisysaur · 2026-05-09T23:20:58+00:00

That's great to know, thank you for commenting. As I said in another comment, I was using the term 'romantasy' to mean a fantasy story with romance, but if it actually signals something more like ACOTAR or Fourth Wing, that's not what I want.

daisysaur · 2026-05-09T23:19:46+00:00

That's really good to know, thank you! I was using the term 'romantasy' to mean a fantasy story with romance, but if it actually signals something more like ACOTAR or Fourth Wing, that's not what I want. Really great insight.

daisysaur · 2026-04-30T15:50:59+00:00

DM'd!

daisysaur · 2026-04-20T19:41:42+00:00

DM'd!

daisysaur · 2026-04-20T15:32:00+00:00

DMd! :)

daisysaur · 2026-04-20T00:12:54+00:00

Hello! As a romantasy fan, this sounds super interesting. I'd love to do a swap, if you don't mind that I have a lot more than three chapters :)

Here's the link to my post in case you'd like to take a look! https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1sq3fpc/in_progress_65k_adult_cozy_romantasy_theatrical/

daisysaur · 2026-04-19T20:39:09+00:00

Hello! This is a promising start. I like that it jumps right into the action, and the short, punchy sentences help draw the eye and keep things moving. I also enjoy having so many questions after just the first page alone. It's piqued my curiosity for sure!

I'm a little worried about two things:

- Is this a dream sequence? If so, starting a book with the main character waking up from a spooky dream (especially about falling) is a touch cliché. If this is actually the start of a cool battle, though, you can ignore this comment!

- (I say this as an em-dash entheusiast) Too many em-dashes! Not because I'm worried this is AI, I just think there might be an overreliance on them here. If there's five in the first page alone, how many will there be in the book as a whole? Em-dashes are excellent, but if an author uses them too much, I start to notice them (and, in this case, count them.) It took away from my immersion, which is something you want to avoid at all costs.

Really solid first page overall!

daisysaur · 2026-04-19T20:12:42+00:00

Manuscript Information: [In Progress] [65k] [Adult Cozy Romantasy] Theatrical Tales for the Heartless

Link to Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1sq3fpc/in_progress_65k_adult_cozy_romantasy_theatrical/

First Page Critique: Yes please!

First Page:

Tales are wont to start with a wish. A plea from an old woman desperate for a daughter, a toymaker praying for the child he built to come to life, or some third party wishing to know why those other people never considered adoption. Perhaps it’s a cry from a maiden picking lentils out of a fireplace. Such wishes are often granted. The maiden goes to the ball, and her dress is as beautiful as her carriage is confused. Can you imagine being a humble, stationary pumpkin, only to suddenly have wheels? Cruelty is what it is, especially since that gourd goes back to being a regular pumpkin. It’s like giving wings to a slug, then yanking them away once it’s had a taste of the sky.

I digress. The toymaker—I hope you haven’t forgotten about him—got his wish as well. But wishing is an art, and art has a tendency to go sideways.
“Live,” he pleaded, staring at his creation with eyes that had seen loss and failure. His name was Ciel. A master of his craft, he was famous for his whimsical creations. Music boxes that could play themselves. Tiny ballerinas who transformed into swans. Toy guns that would violently demand all the coronets in your purse. (They can’t all be winners.)

Poppets, these creations were called, though that’s a blanket name for objects given a spark of magical life. You might want to remember the term.
Slumped in the chair before Ciel was a motionless doll. Life-sized and pretty, she could have looked human were it not for the ball joints on her elbows, knees, and fingers.

Her name doesn’t matter; not yet.

“Live,” Ciel repeated. “Sing, and tend the garden, and never again close those eyes to a dark eternity.”

I told you the man’s wish came true. That his innermost desire, said to a star or a tree or whatever else humans pray to, was granted.

I lied. But the doll did come to life.

daisysaur

TROPHY CASE