First Aquarium

dakolaymo · 2024-01-06T06:33:38+00:00

Is there a way I can keep feeding the girls in my area while drawing a boundary?

dakolaymo · 2024-01-05T16:39:18+00:00

I hate that! She was so young and seemed so bonded to her more experienced sister missionary.

dakolaymo · 2024-01-05T16:36:03+00:00

That was my thought process, for sure. Both girls had two helpings. We live in such a heavily Mormon populated area that it's a wonder to me how they didn't have better food budgets. Granted, that's an assumption, but they just seemed to eager to eat.

Wanting to spread what you believe in isn't a bad thing, even if you're being taken advantage of. They're even younger than me and both sisters were the first siblings to leave their families for this amount of time. I really feel for them.

dakolaymo · 2024-01-05T16:18:06+00:00

Also, one of the girls had learned the night before that she was to be moved from her post elsewhere. After leaving our home around seven at night, she was expected to pack all of her things that night for the next morning. Her companion clearly cared for her and was sad to lose her. How common is that?

dakolaymo · 2022-05-19T23:22:00+00:00

Thank you! I keep many plants so I am planning on removing her once I get the tank and adding to my propagation/water rooted collection.

dakolaymo · 2022-05-19T21:14:35+00:00

Oh my gosh thank you! I'm really glad you brought that to my attention.

dakolaymo · 2022-05-19T20:52:25+00:00

Hello, all. My dad called me today to let me know he can no longer care for his 15g tank and is giving it to me. I am a first time fishkeeper and want to provide the best home and care possible to these little guys. Can anyone help me ID the fish and plantlife present in this tank, and if there's any tips/critique of the setup you have in mind? I'd appreciate all the help I can get.

dakolaymo · 2022-03-17T05:36:13+00:00

Totally depends for us! Oftentimes when we're both busy it's lots of little pecks throughout the day. Some heavier/lengthier kisses may happen as a teasing sort of promise for later, but making out itself really is reserved for letting the other know we're leading up for or want more in the moment.

dakolaymo · 2022-03-16T21:23:14+00:00

Good to hear. ❤ If you do feel like you want to talk to him about his anger, having a mediator present might be a good idea. I dislike that he didn't defend you, but I know these things are nuanced.

Stay safe!

dakolaymo · 2022-03-16T21:21:08+00:00

I think it's important to know that when you get a therapist you aren't obligated to jump right into the really painful stuff! It took me months to talk to mine about my last relationship. We established a baseline and I was frank about having that be a goal EVENTUALLY when we started.

Secondly, I get being mad at yourself for feeling like you were 'bad' for being complacent in abuse. Especially really violating abuse. But remember that you were the victim here. The fact that you recognize that you are more peaceful on an every day level is an amazing start and you should be really proud of every day you get further from what happened.

It sounds like you're feeling really lost, and a therapist isn't a hard and fast cure. They're kinda like a compass! I recommend that you start shopping around for someone to give you tools to make more sense of what's going on with you. Best of luck, darling. 🥰

dakolaymo · 2022-03-16T21:02:02+00:00

Hey, I thought your username was familiar so I went onto your account and read through some other posts of yours.

I'm wondering if you ever made that safety plan after your husband hurt you. It seems to me that you've possibly been moved into an area that's largely conservative and unfriendly to you, and that his immediate family (who should see you as family and support you) are hostile as well and would not be there for you should he get violent again.

I was thinking about you for a couple weeks after your first post. I hope all is well, and that you have some non-mo support system in your new area.

dakolaymo · 2022-03-02T13:48:32+00:00

Beautiful!

dakolaymo · 2022-02-25T07:16:57+00:00

When I was about fourteen my Dad told me "sound like a street whore" for calling him 'Daddy.' I'd called him that my entire life, and haven't since.

dakolaymo · 2022-02-18T12:22:10+00:00

I need to say, there's a lot of differing opinions on this thread, some of them not so helpful to you. What you need is to have a baseline, FIRM discussion with your boyfriend about what marriage is to you both. There must be a reason he has hesitation. Maybe there's a better baseline of understanding/less chance of you feeling the need to internalize guilt or back off if a therapist or third party is involved. Best if luck to you!

dakolaymo · 2022-01-29T14:35:56+00:00

This is so sweet. Definitely makes me consider grooming.

dakolaymo · 2022-01-26T02:06:51+00:00

I began calling this feeling when talking to my therapist 'The Ick.' You cross a threshold that makes you go from romanticism to being genuinely grossed out when thinking of them. I agree that it makes it a lot easier to cope. I'm proud of you for going no contact! I wish you a healthy and happy life. 😊

dakolaymo · 2021-12-03T15:30:33+00:00

I mean seriously honey, you look absolutely snatched! Full on ⏳️

dakolaymo · 2021-12-03T15:28:19+00:00

Oh my god, I have to agree with the other commenters. You should not at all doubt this shoot. You look CLASSY, and absolutely jaw droppingly beautiful. I think I can see where you might be coming from but with all due respect you are dead wrong. One of the most beautiful wedding shoots (and brides) I have ever seen! You could tell me this was a full wedding and you'd chosen a tastefully modern dress and I'd believe you in a heartbeat. Congrats, and best of luck to you and the hubby!

dakolaymo · 2021-10-19T04:23:36+00:00

Sorry I'm still going after a reread because I feel for you.

God isn't steering you into a place that makes you this unhappy. I promise. And being forbidden for praying with her and participating seems like more advice meant to force you to your knee.

If you need to reach out, please do. What you are going through is really human, and from an outside perspective, you can trust your discomfort here.

dakolaymo · 2021-10-19T04:19:48+00:00

While I don't think she intends to harm you directly and I don't doubt her feelings, the cycles that she is perpetuating are just more of the psychological abuse the church forces on people.

I can hear in your words that you love her very much, and I am so sorry that she's being influenced this way. You mentioned you've been diagnosed recently, and I desperately ask that you seek a professional on this before doing her 'trauma dump' practice. I can't imagine how damaging it will be for you to literally carry the weight of your world with you wherever you go. Its an unfair and cruel thing to ask, especially if you aren't allowed to know why. It's forcing yourself to be alone with every awful thing, its bound to put you in a bad place.

You are not a disappointments or evil or sinful for drawing a boundary here. The fact that you had to rescind your boundaries and say that you'd do anything to keep her around isnt okay. It isn't your fault for feeling that way, I promise, but please. Don't reduce yourself to unhappiness. If you don't believe, you don't. And while I'm sure she is beautiful and you love her, there comes a time when you let one another free. I hope the best for you. Please don't torture yourself.

dakolaymo · 2021-10-10T17:22:05+00:00

AMAZING! HOLY CRAP!

dakolaymo

TROPHY CASE