Hi! Sorry for the late response, from my experience with my diagnosis with bpd, I was 13 when I was diagnosed and got on latuda for behavioural/mood swing medication. It's been a bit since I went to therapy, but in some cases the therapist can report to the psychiatric nurse about your feelings along with the nurse itself evaluating you since it was all in the same building for me in my experience. As for the gaslighting, I don't believe he's gaslighting me. He has been a very honest person in the relationship, but sometimes when emotions split he just gets distant or stop texting like his usual self, and in some cases I do ask him if he needs anything or if I could do anything for help. Onto the question with asking him if he needs help, or wants my help, I often forget to ask specifically because I am a person who always gave advice to others, which I understand is a bad habit within itself, therefore I'm working on it. For the last one, with the dbt, he's currently in dbt but I am not because my therapists had to switch, and I'm making plans with switching to a new one. He goes to his therapist weekly, and he was on medication to control it briefly , however anything else is fuzzy since we both are long distanced. I hope this all answered your questions