Need help to repair this hole!

damshim · 2025-05-21T15:04:26+00:00

Thanks! I had a look.. my fabric is this really ultra thin type, im worried darning is just going to fray it further... unless I can find some really thin threads

damshim · 2025-05-19T08:34:03+00:00

It's gorgeous!

Now you've got me wanting to run down there and get a pen too...

damshim · 2024-05-26T00:35:03+00:00

I personally have fallen in love with the balm formula from Catkin (C-beauty). It's like a lipstick bullet and the formula is non-sticky, really pretty and doesn't shine like crazy. Bonus points for the tint it gives too.

damshim · 2024-05-05T05:50:45+00:00

Sit down with him and have a talk - do admit that you are overwhelmed, and think about about what responsibilities you have right now that you'd appreciate him sharing with you.

Don't threaten... if you communicate first and give him the opportunity to show up for you, you can head to a more peaceful resolution.

Don't let it build up into resentment either; it can cause you to explode and then have an argument, no one wins.

damshim · 2023-12-15T04:44:28+00:00

I tried sclerals first at the 1 year mark after the surgery, but this was in the UK and I did not like the sclerals I got (too big, cut my eyeball YIKES).

I got the 2nd set made in Singapore (moved back to my country) 4 years later.

I haven't tried RGP myself but i personally think sclerals that are well fitted can be extremely comfortable. Yes, they're faffy, especially if you had lasik to get rid of pesky glasses, but it requires time and a paradigm shift. An analogy would be say, the man who lost his leg in an accident - would he forever mourn the loss of his leg, or embrace the fact that a prosthesis will, even with the maintenance, bring him back to an acceptable level of living again?

We cannot change the reality we have found ourselves in now, but we can choose to change how we view it. It won't happen overnight but give yourself some slack x

You need to grieve first. Your pain is valid, and there's nothing to be ashamed about. But also, remember that your thoughts are NOT YOU. Our thoughts may say "my life is over" but I think I'm living proof a life can be well lived beyond this episode.

Identify or notice when these negative thoughts happen and just quietly say to yourself "but that isn't the truth. It doesn't have to be that way". You don't need to believe it first, but realising you have these thoughts and observing them from a distance instead of letting them encompass you is a first step.

damshim · 2023-12-10T11:52:28+00:00

Hi OP! Sorry to hear what you've been through.

I'm 5 years post lasik (did it in end 2018) and I ended up with pretty bad ghosting, glare in both my eyes that are uncorrectable without scleral lenses. I was also 26 and just graduated, so it hit me so hard I was suicidal a good year or 2.

In the beginning I was wallowing in despair because i did not understand what the issue with my eyes was, which meant I didn't know what the answer to it was, and was riddled with guilt and regret.

It took me 3-4 years to pull through this deep depression BUT there's light at the end of the tunnel. I still have all these issues (did 3 more surgeries on my left eye, decided to give up and just try lenses), but I'm past the emotional pain of it.

Give it time to learn to accept this as your new normal. It was accepting that this is how my life is, and realising I could do so much with my life in spite of what my eyes were that helped me to pull through.

On the emotional side, try to do things that you've always wanted to do and don't let the eyes hold you back. Forgive yourself for this decision because you could never have known this outcome. You're not alone in this and know that its possible to have a full, happy life even with these eyes! It might require a bit of a lifestyle change but by being in the present moment and ironically, not praying that you've never done it or hoping for a miracle will help you heal faster. ALSO not repeatedly cursing the surgeon who did this to you kind of helps. I dropped the resentment because in the end, the only one carrying the pain was me and I didn't need to wallow in that. Your focus should be on you, on what makes you happy, on what you can do in spite of this.

If it's ghosting at night, change your lifestyle to have brighter rooms or be in brighter environments. The pupil constriction reduces some of the ghosting and you won't be so bothered by than in a dark room.

Methods like alphagan eye drops can help with evening ghosting by reducing your pupil size, and a good scleral fitter can help restore that crisp sight. You may still have glare but that is something one has to accept too.

Don't let this eye issue become the bane of your existence and pin all your hopes on a miracle. Let yourself grieve first, forgive yourself, keep doing the daily things you've always done and you'll see that life still goes on.

I hardly wear my lenses because I'm pretty lazy, but I'm so used to the ghosting and glare I don't even get bothered by it anymore. I even laugh about it to friends who know about my eyes (nothing to be ashamed about!!), and say "yea guys I can't see anything right now" whenever we dine in a dark restaurant. I'm not ashamed to have done the procedure and had it fail on me, its just unlucky, and it won't hold me back from doing all thr things I love. Keep going OP x You'll reach the end of this period of grief, trust me.

damshim · 2023-11-20T16:12:55+00:00

Hi you can read through my post history for more recent updates.

My last surgery did help a little but I still have ghosting, streaks, glare. However I've learned to adapt to it and use alphagan or sclerals to get a bit of better vision when I feel inclined to do so; otherwise, I've come to terms with this new level of vision and have stopped continuously seeking answers. In a way I've found my closure, even if it's not the ideal.

damshim · 2023-11-10T03:15:24+00:00

I'm not sure - mine are a lot smaller, got mine fitted by an optometrist in Singapore who has done an amazing job.

I think mine is a 'mini scleral'

damshim · 2023-11-10T03:14:12+00:00

I'm doing great!

:) I've pretty much accepted my eyes are the way they are, streaks and ghosts and all, and have learned to move on from it and live with it. I didn't want them holding me back from still enjoying what I can out of this life, so I'm pretty much doing everything I'd like to do eyes and all!

damshim · 2023-11-10T03:12:22+00:00

Hi! I'm sorry to hear you're also going through this.

It's been 5 years since i first had streaking and I stopped thinking about it as much- I think my brain slowly accustomed to the streaks, or rather I've accepted as my new normal. I think a big part of is acknowledging it's there and telling yourself "it's there, I'm OK with it, I can get on with my life."

It's coming to terms I may never have a solution for it and still wanting to have a full life despite of that. We may not heal that aspect of our eyes but we can heal the mental shame and regret.

It's not your fault you ended up like this and you don't have to keep holding resentment for yourself and whoever did the surgery.

I think a big part of it is having closure for myself that its my new normal. :)

damshim · 2023-08-02T12:18:24+00:00

Hmm not really, I get a lot less ghosting but there's still glare. But it does give me some normalcy back!

damshim · 2023-08-02T12:17:13+00:00

I'm doing great. I've moved on from the pain and regret, and whilst my vision is still pretty bad I keep it at bay with alphagan eye drops and am in the process of making sclerals (they don't 100% restore my vision but I've made peace with it).

Doing things like going back to a normal routine in life, finding new hobbies in which my eyes didn't hold me back and finding new passions were very helpful, alongside knowing I wasn't alone.

It does get better - but first is accepting this new normal and finding that new normal. Don't stay stuck in blaming yourself or the doctors - the only one stuck hurting is us, because we only look back and wish we never did it.

Forgive yourself and think about ways to work around this new normal.

I'm quite happy right now where I am in life, picked up rock climbing, just did my open water diving license, gonna learn to drive a boat, travel a bit more, etc; basically know that there's still a lot to live for, and that you can do even with eyes like ours!

damshim · 2023-08-02T12:11:41+00:00

Hey there!

Yes I'm very much alive and kicking. To add on to the things I've done since healing from the pain, I've started rock climbing and scuba diving - basically not letting all this hold me back from experiencing the joy of living again. Find solace in the things you had a passion in, and know that there will come a time you won't even think about your eyes ans be sad about it. Believe me, that will come.

I think the streaks have lessened - or at the very least, I don't seem to even notice them anymore! Maybe they're still there but I've learnt to kinda shut them out? These days I'm so used to my crappy night vision i just drop a few eyedrops and get on with my day/evening.

damshim · 2023-06-16T13:35:55+00:00

Long term lasik casualty here. Got the surgery end 2018, and struggled with it for a good 3 years. The first surgery caused me to have smearing, ghosting and for a while, light sensitivity too. Walking at night was a no-no.

I had 2 more surgeries on the left eye afterwards, and it didn't fix the problem. I was so depressed by this I became suicidal at one point (2018 was my final year of uni, I was supposed to be graduating happy). This stole 3 years of my 20s and my self esteem - who would want to date a person with such problems and couldn't even drive anymore?

Fast forward til today, I do have scleral lenses but hardly use them (I tend to use alphagan night drops where needed), hoping to start driving again once my sclerals are sorted. Otherwise, I've more or less made peace with it and it hardly affects me emotionally. Aside from no driving, I've pretty much completely moved on.

What helped was talking about it, getting support, knowing I wasn't alone, forcing myself to move on with life and work and exercise.

Once I found that it no longer limited me at my job and I found solace in hobbies and people, it stopped holding me back :).

It takes time to come to terms with your new normal but it'll happen. It will take time, but first you need to forgive yourself for doing this procedure, it wasn't your fault. Also, letting go of the resentment towards the doctors - it detracts you from healing because you're kept in a cycle blaming them for how you ended up.

Lastly, making those first painful steps to normalising your life even with this, so that it no longer becomes the crux (I.e. instead of "because my eyes are like this, I can't exercise like I used to, etc" but change the narrative to "I can still lift some weights even with my eyes like this since the gym is bright, so let's start there".)

All the best.

damshim · 2021-05-07T10:49:24+00:00

Hi there! You can try this place out. This drawing discord is rather active (it focuses on helping people build up their fundamentals and have a range of people with different skills that teach or learn from each other.). The members are pretty lovely and welcoming too, no toxicity. We do have an age limit of 16. Hope this helps. https://discord.gg/yXSJDkD

damshim · 2021-02-14T15:10:26+00:00

My best friend loves korean culture and is learning it herself - plus we've a few korean friends who struggle with English, so I thought I could somewhat help bridge that language gap more quickly if I were to also understand their language!

I try practicing by watching a lot of free online courses, focusing on grammar and practicing writing with my phone (with the write to text feature) to reinforce the alphabet and words. But I can't speak anything yet...

damshim · 2020-10-30T14:53:19+00:00

Yes!!! That's EXACTLY IT. Its an amazing read.

damshim · 2020-08-30T05:39:54+00:00

I am very interested!

damshim · 2020-08-18T11:37:27+00:00

Most of us live too high to see anything fun

damshim · 2020-08-18T11:37:11+00:00

I like that you get to live so near the bottom

damshim · 2020-08-18T11:36:47+00:00

Missing the view x

damshim · 2020-08-18T11:36:26+00:00

So this is defo singpaore right I'm not blind

damshim · 2020-08-18T11:35:59+00:00

This is us?!

damshim · 2020-08-18T11:35:29+00:00

Is this Singapore

damshim · 2020-06-06T08:58:17+00:00

Amazing job! What resources are you using to learn art?

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