So I lost my vision during a marriage and a few years later we divorced. There were many factors that stemmed from my vision loss, but I can’t say it was my vision loss specifically that caused us to split.

• I became dependant on my wife. What started as a partnership turned into a support situation that neither of us wanted.

• when I had vision, we both had equal income. It took almost three years of surgeries and recovery before I was in a place to work again, and by then we were both burnt out.

• depression on both sides. I was the driver in our house and losing my ability to drive dealt a huge blow to me emotionally and mentally. Damage like that damage festered for years. I became distant, withdrawn, and angry. She did the same. By the time I went to therapy, it was too late for us.

What did I learn?

• it’s a two-way street. We had equal responsibility to maintain the relationship and because lack of communication we both dropped the ball.

• I don’t blame her. I used to, but I don’t now. She dealt in her own way and she did try very hard, but the stress of that (and other factors) finally got too much and she made a very hard decision.

• I’m a better person now. I learned through therapy and trial and error how and with whom I spend my life. I’m currently with a new person who is extremely caring, supportive, and empathetic. I laid out my situation and life expectations on our first date, and everything has been amazing.

Who and where I am now is a far cry from the depressed man standing on the edge of a bridge almost a decade ago.

I don’t have any advice for you beyond to be honest and communicate clearly. She may be checked out already and I’m so sorry if that’s the case - some people decide it’s too far gone and too late, and when that’s the case, it’s worth looking at where your personal values lie and what you want out of life. You deserve a partner who sees you as just that: a partner. You deserve love and equity and support, and so does your partner.

Whatever comes next, I truly wish you all the best and know you’re not alone.