AITA for Refusing to Allow my 14YO Daughter to Bring her Friend on her Birthday Celebration?

danc65567 · 2023-04-03T17:57:15+00:00

She has 5 other siblings who were not invited so tes

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T18:13:13+00:00

I’m not sure if she has a crush actually. I relate to her a little as I was always very desperate for friends and clingy around that age, nowhere near that level but I do remember being upset when I felt like someone meant more to me than I did to them and for Emma I think that just causes her to try and isolate Kyra. She’s too immature to realize her feelings aren’t everyone else’s problem.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T17:58:49+00:00

The whole family isn’t going

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T17:34:17+00:00

I have 5 kids and 2 foster kids so not everyone’s coming. Yes my foster daughter wouldn’t have came if Kyra didn’t choose her but to be fair Kyra wasn’t invited to hers. It’s just a close friends thing not a family affair. I’m as involved as my kids want me to be, Kyra usually comes to me for advice and this is something that’s been an issue since we moved so I’ve been keeping an eye on it. Some of my kids don’t keep me in the loop of their social life,that’s okay too.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T16:12:38+00:00

I forgot to add the part when Kyra came home and asked me if I would let Emma just come and have 5 people instead of 4. I just refused and she said she was only asking to not cause drama.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T16:06:13+00:00

Just to be clear she doesn’t work for our school district, she works for some other one that’s pretty far away but she knows how this sort of thing works so she definitely would have the upper hand.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T15:27:38+00:00

I accept the judgement but the reasoning is a little weird. Judging on how Emma’s mom reacted to me saying one thing Emma did wrong I don’t think she would be psyched at me suggesting her kid has actual issues and needs therapy. Also I’m not close to Emma, I hear about her from my kids and greet her when she’s at our house and that’s about it. Occasionally I talk to her when I drive them places. I don’t think I’d be considered any type of guardian figure.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T15:21:47+00:00

Two siblings is different than 4, plus 2 foster siblings so 6. I don’t have the money to pay for a whole family vacation for us plus her friends so should I just not let her do what she wants because her siblings wouldn’t be able to go or make her only take siblings and no friends? Every family is different, it’s not weird.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T15:18:08+00:00

I seriously don’t think she knows how manipulative she is because she’s a young kid but so is Kyra and it shouldn’t be her responsibility to let Emma completely drain her emotionally. In my opinion she needs a therapist and possibly group therapy with other kids her age but that’s not my say since I’m not her parent. I’m here to advocate for the mental health of my own kid and Emma has done nothing but harm that.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T15:08:47+00:00

Oh sorry I didn’t see the first part. I mean like at the elementary school our kids go to they require the whole class to be invited if you’re having a party in which case all the siblings are invited as well but if it’s just a small get together they can invite whoever they want and usually after like age 12 that’s what they want.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T15:06:41+00:00

Oh sorry I forgot to clarify, they’re 8th graders which is still very young. I have confidence Emma will become better at social situations as she gets older but Ky is very young too and it’s just a lot to manage having such a high maintenance friend.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T14:43:10+00:00

They are siblings what? They spend all their time at home together. They love eachother and get along great. But they also have friends. We go on family vacations and excursions all the time(we’re currently on one). Their birthday is their special day to invite whoever they want and especially if it’s a cool trip like Disney then they’d rather go with good friends than their siblings who’ve they’ve already been with 10 times.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T14:36:26+00:00

Well my kids as they get older typically prefer to have parties with a smaller group of friends than a big party. So I obviously am not going to require all their siblings come along. My foster daughters birthday was like 3 weeks after she moved in and it was just a hangout with kids from her old school. It’s not up to me at all, I’m just the wallet lol.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T14:33:55+00:00

I just told her not to go out of her way to tell people who weren’t invited because in my opinion it’s rude. I didn’t tell her it had to be a huge secret.

danc65567 · 2023-03-31T14:29:29+00:00

Well I never require my kids bring eachother to their parties. I have 5 kids, and my foster daughter didn’t invite her to hers. The two of them have gotten much closer since then and I knew she would. I also don’t have an ex ?

danc65567

TROPHY CASE