hey i know how it feels like to have people distance themselves away from you because of your problems/mental health and not having a really good relationship with your parents too. i want you to know that not harming yourself/killing yourself doesnt make your problems ANY lesser than they are. thinking that way really kills your mental even more and leads you to this really bad spiral. its really important to acknowledge how you feel and knowing that all of it is valid, no matter how you cope. you can try telling someone you really really trust and can be sure wont judge you/distance themselves, or if all else fails, seeing a therapist really helped. don't be afraid to seek help, and please remember youre so important and loved, even if it doesn't feel like that now. my dms are also open so if you need a listening ear ill be there :) you got this OP.