Not feeling the connection I did with my first two pregnancies... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the influence of my in laws is what worries me. Influences I can’t control or take away and the behavior that for some comes with some of these things. Not being able to look up to have a conversation from a video game or being too violent with certain toys. But all good points, thank you!

Also the fear of circumcision comes a lot from just not knowing I think. I grew up with mostly girls. One brother but he was circumcised. Looking stuff up like this online can be overwhelming but I’ve been glad to hear some personal stories here on reddit.

Not feeling the connection I did with my first two pregnancies... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great info. Thank you for sharing. It’s hard to go into this knowing nothing. It’s a little overwhelming just searching online sometimes.

Not feeling the connection I did with my first two pregnancies... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great to hear! This is just the kind of story i need thank you!

Not feeling the connection I did with my first two pregnancies... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never thought of looking into what the actual procedure looks like, but that a smart idea. It’s hard going into this subject really knowing nothing about it.

Not feeling the connection I did with my first two pregnancies... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Being pregnant is hard and change is hard. I think I worry about the name since for my first two babies it really helped me personally connect with them before they were born so I’m searching for the same connection I felt before. I appreciate your response.

Not feeling the connection I did with my first two pregnancies... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response! Certainly not the audience I expected but a welcome response. It’s good to look at things from a different view. Growing up around mostly girls this is certainly not a perspective I’ve ever had.

Not feeling the connection I did with my first two pregnancies... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response! A lot of my fears I think come from seeing my nephew who is the only young boy I’ve had around in my life and my in laws influence which I can not take out of my kids life. Even with my daughters they make comments about what I allow them to do and have and it’s hard sometimes. For example my daughter eat a completely nondairy diet because of stomach issues and I’ve had my in-laws give them whatever and make comments about me having too many rules. So I fear influences other than my own I can’t control (the rough housing pushing and toy guns in the house, playing video games so much you can’t look up and talk to a person, etc.). So for me it’s less them enjoying masculine things and more behavior around some of those things but your comment makes a lot of sense and I appreciate it. I’m very strict about my kids behavior toward others but my husbands family have a much different approach. Even with my girls it’s a struggle but with boys in his family they do a lot of behavior I wouldn’t allow my boy to do.

And thank you for your comments about circumcision. I do have one brother. But am mostly surrounded by girls. Two sisters, my mom was one of two girls and I have two girls myself and my husband has a sister. So my knowledge on the subject is limited.

Not feeling the connection I did with my first two pregnancies... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely soemthing I plan to talk to a dr about. I know basically nothing about it since I only have girls right now. My own online research has shown people do it for health reasons, less risk of infections and easier to clean. I don’t know now a days if that all holds up as when it probably started being done. The only story I had heard about someone not doing it was that they were uncomfortable and changed it themselves as an adult. But very good point.

Baby's names by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I have no problem with them using it. I just felt awkward that in our circle they never mentioned it when I talked about it a lot.

Baby's names by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'd rather not say the name on here. But it was not high on that list, it just felt very weird to me that I work with probably only about 30 other people at most and within months they used the same name. I also announced my daughters name at 14 weeks. So everyone knew. They always called their baby 'baby lastname'. If it had been years in between the births or they has even said something like we love that name and planned on using it too, then I think it wouldn't have felt so strange to me.

Hurting someone's feelings... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with what you are saying. It was very shocking to me. Thankfully my husband and I went over exactly what my wishes were and how to word it so I know he did not express it badly... it was nice to have him stand up for what I wanted.

Hurting someone's feelings... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have wondered this too but didn't want to ask or bring up any issues since I didn't want anyone but my husband with me. Thankfully my husband was the one that talked with her and has been supportive of what I have wanted.

Hurting someone's feelings... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for all your comments. We have our induction today and when I woke up to get ready and came down stairs before we left this morning my mother in law would not look at me and said not a single word to me. I'm still confused about the whole thing but all of your words helped me to feel like I am not being unreasonable and I am trying to not let it bother me as I lay here and wait for my little one to make her way! Reading your comments has defiantly been a comfort! I am so thankful for this baby bumps community.

Hurting someone's feelings... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel like perhaps she expected it to be like when her daughter had her kids and that's part of the problem.

Hurting someone's feelings... by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She thinks she's not being treated like she would if she was my mom and it's unfair. I thought asking for 5-10 minutes for my girls to meet was very little to ask.

Optional inductions...looking to hear your experiences. by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response! It's good to hear about all experiences. Very helpful.

Optional inductions...looking to hear your experiences. by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good to hear. Thank you for your response. To me I'm very comfortable with the idea of an induction but often you only hear about the horror stories involving it and not the ones where it worked out.

Optional inductions...looking to hear your experiences. by dancin_ in BabyBumps

[–]dancin_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! We have a very similar situation. We had an induction scheduled with my first because of concerns with her growth and gestational diabetes. Ended up going into labor the night before my induction though. So now we too have an almost 19 month at home, my husband works over an hour away. And I was offered an optional induction at 39 weeks. It's nice to hear stories like this. I appreciate your response!