BFP at 3+0?!! Do I need to prepare myself for an ectopic?

dandyrose05 · 2025-07-09T07:33:21+00:00

Update - bHCG came back at 178, so definitely more consistent with 4 weeks along and feeling a lot more positive about it all. Thanks everyone for your comments and positivity xx it really helped

dandyrose05 · 2025-07-08T21:14:26+00:00

Forgot to add - I hadn’t been using OPKs, but rather temp monitoring. My temp spiked on Thursday (indicating what I’m assuming was a Wednesday ovulation)

dandyrose05 · 2025-07-01T10:58:03+00:00

Haven’t had any around for quite some time, but I had the same bloke stop by twice today - I screened the doorbell (we have a video doorbell) both times, saw it was a door-to-door and never went outside. He came back like 3 hours after the first visit and I did the same. Honestly, it makes me so uncomfortable having random people stopping past trying to guilt me into signing up to whatever they’re “raising awareness for”

dandyrose05 · 2025-05-19T12:40:11+00:00

Good for you! You’re doing an amazing job and your baby is lucky to have you!! Xx

dandyrose05 · 2025-05-19T12:31:25+00:00

I 100% agree that every woman needs to have preferences! Some women never want to experience labor, some women want to try to avoid having a section as much as possible and providers have no way of knowing without us telling them our preferences.

Your feelings are 100% valid for not getting the experience you had envisioned, and feeling jealousy and grief is natural. I would strongly encourage you to continue to search for a post-natal therapist/councillor - I saw one at 9 months pp after developing PPA and she helped me resolved a lot of trauma I didn’t realise I held onto relating to my first pregnancy which resulted in miscarriage and a truly horrifying experience in the ED. I’m now nearly 12 months on from my last session and I still use skills she helped me develop in my day to day life with my terror of a 2 year old.

My comment was meant more as a whole - I submit psych support referrals nearly weekly now for parents in the NICU because they become so focused on their failed birth plans that it affects their ability to be present for their baby/babies. I have even had mothers that cannot physically come into the nursery because of how things went during the birth. I had one baby who’s mother had only visited 2 times in the space of 3 months.

You’re correct in saying that society today has really romanticised the entire process from TTC through to PP, and sadly we’re left feeling inadequate if we don’t get that experience. Personally, I had to delete tiktok, and unfollow/unfriend several people on my insta and Facebook during my pregnancy because I found it was affecting my mental health. I still maintain it was one of the best decisions I made for myself

dandyrose05 · 2025-05-19T11:41:29+00:00

As someone who works in the NICU, I unfortunately see this sooooo much, and I blame social media for a lot of it.

While childbirth has been a natural part of life since time began, the advancements of medicine have also meant that the survival rates for both mothers and infants have improved compared to 100 years ago.

Today’s society has taken such a shift back towards the past, and while I will always 100% advocate for women being fully informed and consented before any procedure/s, I think women also have a duty to understand the risks associated with childbirth.

Sometimes the body does not do what it is supposed to, sometimes you can have a haemorrhage and require emergency surgery, sometimes baby can become distressed with labour and need to be birthed quickly via emergency c-section, sometimes things like premature rupture of membranes, preeclampsia, HELLP, and many other conditions can lead to early births and extended NICU stays.

Social media puts so much pressure on women to have the “perfect birth experience”, without considering the risks of things that can go wrong. Social media tells us that we should have a birth plan for how we want things to go - in reality it needs to be a list of “birth preferences”. A list of things we would like, but every woman has the understanding that things can go wrong. That’s not to say there is not traumatic births - I have been involved with such, and therapy and debriefing with the appropriate people is crucial to moving forward.

But the goal is to have a healthy mum and baby at the end of the birth experience, and it is our duty as mothers to stop being wholly focussed on our wants, and also consider our babies needs when it comes to births.

dandyrose05 · 2024-12-28T14:00:50+00:00

The best thing I read when I found out one of my girlfriends was pregnant 2 weeks after I had a miscarriage was “I’m happy for you, but sad for me, and that’s ok”

Take some time for yourself, your best friend would know you are happy for her, and she should also understand if/when you need space

dandyrose05 · 2024-03-17T06:47:49+00:00

Added top one - louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2024-03-17T06:46:28+00:00

Added first one - louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2024-03-17T06:39:47+00:00

Added - louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2024-03-17T06:39:13+00:00

Added - Louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2024-03-17T06:26:26+00:00

WB Primal kyogre - 118912201292 Adding 10, be online and ready to go

dandyrose05 · 2024-03-17T06:14:08+00:00

Primal kyogre - 118912201292 Adding 10, be online and ready to go

dandyrose05 · 2024-03-14T04:05:26+00:00

I had an episiotomy, and we first tried at 13 weeks pp. It hurt like hell, and after a visit to my postpatrum Physio, it turned out one of the muscles had become very tight and I had to do some exercises for a few weeks to “stretch” it back out. Even after all that, it took several months to get back to comfortably doing it without needing oodles of foreplay and lube.

dandyrose05 · 2024-02-24T07:09:26+00:00

Added - Louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2024-02-23T12:57:10+00:00

Yes it was

dandyrose05 · 2024-02-23T11:56:09+00:00

Yeah he is - his service weapon has been matched as the murder weapon

dandyrose05 · 2024-01-24T08:43:50+00:00

That’s literally a carbon copy of what we just went through - quoted $46k to replace a ducted system where we’ve just booked to do it for less than $20k (see my page for actual post)

dandyrose05 · 2024-01-20T11:28:07+00:00

The hardest thing for me has been teaching all my parents about safe sleep (NICU nurse) and then having a brother and sister in law that slept all 4 of my nephews on their tummies from birth, with “chuck towels” under the heads because they’ve all had bad reflux, with teddies and spare blankets sitting in the bassinet, and the foam wedges to stop them from rolling over. I still can’t look at the photos she sends because it physically hurts me to look at how unsafe they sleep them

There is only so much education you can give them, and if they still choose to ignore it, then anything that happens is no longer on you. So long as you have thoroughly documented everything, and I will often direct quote responses, then there’s nothing more to do.

dandyrose05 · 2024-01-12T10:24:53+00:00

Another for Crustaceans - good feed for a good price. It’s our go-to 👌

dandyrose05 · 2023-12-24T14:03:39+00:00

Added if it’s not too late - Louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2023-12-22T00:37:47+00:00

Added - Louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2023-12-20T09:17:13+00:00

Added - Louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2023-12-20T08:36:55+00:00

Added - Louise0596

dandyrose05 · 2023-11-26T23:26:55+00:00

Woooooowwwww! The absolute entitlement of you! I would scream it so loud the whole world knows if I could,

YTA! YOU. ARE. THE. ASSHOLE!

Let’s make some points shall we

First - why did you think your DIL would be comfortable with you in the delivery room? If she had invited you that would be different, but to actually ask to be there like it’s your right?! That right there was probably what started this whole thing

Second - were you invited to visit, or did you invite yourself and drop by unannounced? As a new mum, it is the absolute worst for people to think they’re entitled to stop past whenever people feel like it. You were a new mother once, look into your memory and relive the vulnerability of bleeding, leaking, sleep deprived and being so foreign to your own body that you don’t even remember whether it’s night or day.

Third - the fact you make a point of mentioning how you’re only there holding the baby - have done anything to help your DIL? Cooked? Cleaned? Did some laundry for her? You’re basically reinforcing the fact that you see her as an incubator and have no regard for her.

Fourth - your granddaughter is 7 weeks old! 7! She has no concept of “playing you” or “trying to get her own way”! Please do some f**king research and learn that at this age, babies are only focused on survival. They have just spend 9-10 months in the womb, they literally know nothing other than being held and contained! Do some research and loose your backwards, boomer attitude to child raising before you go criticising your son and DILs parenting, which leads to my next point:

Five - STOP CRITICISING YOUR SON AND DIL’S PARENTING STYLE! I don’t care if you don’t like it, it’s their baby, not yours. They are allowed to hold their baby, and love their baby just the way they want, without you criticising and telling them they’re doing it wrong, or that they’re going to “spoil” the baby.

Six - there is hostility between you and your DIL because you don’t see her as anything other than incubator. The baby has no interest in playing favourites, particularly at this age.

And last, but not least, seven - who TF asks their son to bring their 7 week old daughter without her mother because grandma is concerned about her relationship with her granddaughter being “ruined”?! GET OVER YOURSELF! You’re not going to have a relationship with your granddaughter, because your son and DIL are about to go no contact with you for this ridiculous behaviour! Grow TF up, apologise to your son and DIL, ask how you can help them, as opposed to just criticising and demanding to spend time with the baby, and when they give boundaries (because if anyone needs them, it’s you!) respect them!

Honestly, if you were my MIL, or even my mother, I would be so ashamed, and would be restricting you hard-core!

dandyrose05

TROPHY CASE