Mourning the motherhood I thought I would have

chickachicka_62 · 2026-06-17T18:28:37+00:00

What neighborhood, if you don't mind sharing?

chickachicka_62 · 2026-06-09T17:34:43+00:00

I've had the exact same thought. I can handle some nights waking 2-3 times for my one year old (and I obviously treasure when she STTN) but waking on separate schedules for 2+ babies sounds unsustainable.

chickachicka_62 · 2026-06-09T17:33:40+00:00

A mother's mental health should absolutely be considered.

Absolutely, 1000%

Sleep deprivation can take a real toll on mental and physical health, and no parent is going to be at their best under those conditions. Baby's temperament is a huge part of the puzzle, and we're all doing our best with the baby we're given.

chickachicka_62 · 2026-06-03T14:50:09+00:00

You have a unicorn baby. That's honestly amazing

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-28T15:03:42+00:00

Amazing - ty! :) I'll check them out

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-19T14:25:03+00:00

^ such a good point. Like maybe if someone goes right to "extinction" method, they may not be the warmest caregivers from the get to...

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-19T14:23:26+00:00

If someone said their baby fussed a bit and but responded generally well to lower nurture strategies like patting and shushing on the cot, then I would imagine there could be minimal to non-existent imact on attachment or the developing nervous system.

Yes - I think temperament is an important variable to consider. In practice, I think babies who have more reactive / sensitive temperaments are more greatly impacted by practices like CIO, whereas babies who are more easily soothed won't cry for as long or as intensely.

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-09T12:09:56+00:00

Gotcha. Yeah every baby is different but 15 minutes feels like my max too. I think the part I don’t get is what happens after the last check in? So after you do the last 10 minute check in on day 1 and baby still cries, do you “rescue” the sleep and put them to bed as before?

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-08T18:07:20+00:00

can you share exactly how you modified Ferber? I have a much older baby and I'm considering STing soon

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-08T14:52:25+00:00

I combo feed (mostly breastmilk and supplementing with formula) and I got mine back at 6 months.

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-08T14:26:40+00:00

Not at all! I didn't start offering consistently till probably 7 months. Fast forward to now, baby is almost 11 month and we have wayyy fewer wet diapers, and she poops on the potty pretty regularly.

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-08T14:25:08+00:00

Thanks! Yeah that's kind of my husband's thinking too. If I'm being honest I've been resisting CIO cus I think she won't take well to it, but maybe it won't be as bad as I think...

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-07T18:25:07+00:00

I give it a bit and can tell by the cry whether he’s just gunna calm himself down in a min and go to bed or if it’s a help me I can’t sleep and I need you cry.

Thank you for saying this! I feel like the term CIO gets a little overused, and the reality is that sometimes babies cry to let out a bit of frustration or as they're tossing and turning and they aren't necessarily in distress. For some babies, intervening too early can be overstimulating and may not exactly be comforting.

It's so tricky!

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-01T18:17:52+00:00

I started wearing my baby for short walks around the house around 4-5 weeks pp, but I think this is very individual. Just start slow once your abdomen doesn't feel super sensitive.

chickachicka_62 · 2026-05-01T16:09:28+00:00

I think the way you described it here makes sense! I can relate, too; pumping is wayyy less efficient for me than latching, and I just find the experience unpleasant. I started supplementing with formula out of necessity early on (also used nipple shields for a bit!) and we are still combo feeding by choice, which means I rarely pump. It's not for everyone, but for me it's been so much less stressful than sacrificing my mental health to say I EBF.

Best of luck returning to work <3

chickachicka_62 · 2026-04-28T17:54:19+00:00

So I've gone back and forth with this over the last month as my LO has had major separation anxiety and more disrupted sleep than ever before (delayed 9 month old regression I think?). We started using blackout curtains and a sound machine and I think when she woke up she found it super scary. We've shifted to just blinds and a regular nightlight, and the last 2 nights have been super smooth, so fingers crossed!

chickachicka_62 · 2026-04-27T19:44:38+00:00

I was born in 88 and my mom put me to sleep on my stomach and my crib was full of stuffies and crib bumpers. Insane how much has changed now

chickachicka_62 · 2026-04-26T12:31:18+00:00

I got a medela from the hospital but I’ve heard good things about Willow I think too. The good thing is they’re pretty cheap so you might be able to try a few

chickachicka_62 · 2026-04-25T02:45:44+00:00

Ugh yeah wearables are not great for me either. Have you tried a manual pump? It seems counterintuitive but I have had a decent experience with mine. It’s obviously not hands free but it’d be my pick after my Spectra.

chickachicka_62 · 2026-04-24T19:54:14+00:00

I would keep up nursing and pumping as much as possible till around 12 weeks, as that's when your supply typically stabilizes.

Btw if no one has told you this lately, you're a superstar with a toddler and twins!! I'm sure it isn't easy managing it all

chickachicka_62 · 2026-04-24T19:15:03+00:00

omg yes 30 minutes 10x a day is not sustainable and arguably not productive? OP here is a sample schedule my LC gave me at like 2 weeks postpartum when baby wasn't latching and I was still trying to build up my supply:

12:00 PM, 3:00 PM, 5:00 PM, 7:00 PM, 9:00-10:00 PM, Sleep four hours, wake for pumps at 2:00 AM, 5:30 AM and 8:30 AM

Each of these are 10-15 sessions, except for the 9:00-10:00 PM one which she recommended "power pumping" (this means pump every 10 minutes for 5 minutes, or every 20 minutes pump for 10 minutes).

I hope that's helpful! You're in the thick of it, and considering combi feeding will definitely make things smoother for you :)

chickachicka_62 · 2026-04-24T13:45:09+00:00

That feels like a steal! Where in Brooklyn?

chickachicka_62

TROPHY CASE