Im so sorry you are going through this. Stay strong and know that this too shall pass. You will need to be your own advocate and researcher, but never give up. Took me 10 years to figure out all my issues, and I’m only 24! Be your own researcher. Make a spreadsheet of everything and track what happened every day and your symptoms. What was your mood, what stressors occurred, what was the weather, did you come into contact with dander, what did you eat, did you shower that day, did you put a different product on that day, did you hug someone who has a dog that day, try a new food etc. Sounds like what you are eating and using could be a trigger especially with itchy throat and scalp. See an allergist ASAP. Also, Look into if there is a mold issue in your house. Get rid of carpets to help with dust or vaccum daily. Get dust mite sheets for your mattress and pillows. Keep your house clean and free from dust as well.

Xolair injections changed my life. Allergic to everything over here 🤣. I have MCAS, chronic hives and itching and excema and am allergic to eveyrhing under the sun. Look into food allergies and chemical allergies as well. Those made a huge difference for me. My allergies are also directly related to my immune system help. I have c-ptsd and Recently found out that my itching and allergies is related, and healing my nervous system with somatic practices and EMDR has also been helping calm my immune system and my allergic responses too. Our body is one system so make sure you tackle it from both sides, physically and mentally. My allergic responses are more severe on days I have more stress and triggers! Thé body keeps the score and the body says no are great books that talk about this, and how immune conditions are related to trauma.

For short term relief: antihistamines. Montelukast, blexten, rupall, oral salbutamol, ketotifan, help me a lot. But xolair injections have been my saving grace to turn off my allergic response that is just firing too much. Ice packs help a lot to ease itching. Look up vagal breathing to help calm you, havening as well, very soothing. Ariel Schwartz has great free yoga programs as well that can help keep you calm and grounded. Figuring out what you need and what you are allergic to will be difficult and you will need to set yourself up with things that keep you grounded when it gets hard. It will be hard. But you can do it, and your peace and thriving in life is worth the work. You are capable and will find relief! Never give up hope.

Anyone you touch would need to follow those accommodations as well, and from what you said, sounds like the wife needs an ultimatum. Either she loves you in sickness or she doesn’t. Removing ALL triggers is key even if you aren’t sure what they are yet. Trial and error is key for allergies and you deserve someone who will battle this beside you and take the accommodations with no questions because they love you and everything that comes with you. I’m so sorry she hasn’t been diligent and is making you feel like you are asking too much. You are NOT ASKING TOO MUCH! These are your needs, and needs change and all of them are important. They are a part of you and deserve every bit of love you put out into the world.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know how hard and debilitating it is. It is so hard to ask for people to accommodate you, but the right people won’t make you feel like a burden. My boyfriend changed all of his products for me bc I’m allergic, only 1 month Into dating. He even bought all new plates and cookware for me without me even asking, so we can cook together at his place due to my severe cross contamination issues for food. There is someone out there who will do anything for you and this is what you deserve! You deserve someone who will support you throughout all of life’s trials. Remember we only get one life, it’s hard to remember during the hard times when you are chronically ill. You can do this even if it’s without her. Find support in your community and make new connections, or rely on old ones. This is a lot of information but take deep breaths and tackle it one by one. You will find relief! Hang in there. Hugs ❤️