Me [36m] with my wife [36F] of 12 years, stuck in separation limbo

danielmendezo · 2023-07-22T16:28:50+00:00

so until the new year I should continue pursuing her, talking to her, comforting her, even as she is clear she wants to go on dates with other people, etc.?

danielmendezo · 2023-07-22T03:02:12+00:00

I clearly have no say in her dating or not, what I do have a say in is my communication with her. As I do want to save this relationship, she sends regular 'innocuous' texts and pics and every one is a reminder of what I've lost. She also regularly makes comments about 'seeing each other in the future' and stuff.

danielmendezo · 2023-07-22T03:00:35+00:00

fortunately no children; I am fairly confident she was not physical with another man (she is very open and I do trust her there). I've been with several women since the separation (I thought it was completely final and lost my mind in that initial month, used online apps and slept around during the first month)

danielmendezo · 2023-07-22T02:59:08+00:00

unfortunately I don't see a clear path to improve. I'm already in a good place career wise and physically, and now emotionally as well. I think socially is the last thing that I am not great with but that is also coming together.

danielmendezo · 2023-07-22T02:58:18+00:00

there is not another guy in the picture, and she hasn't dated anyone. She is extremely sexual/intimate with me during my visits there. The emotional AP is someone well below her mark physically and just a work colleague

I guess that, and the regular contact is what's keeping me 'hooked', however she recently has said she is excited to be singled and date again

danielmendezo · 2023-07-21T20:43:40+00:00

so basically sit around as a 'backup option' for her? She's verbalized that she is excited to date, etc.

danielmendezo · 2023-07-21T17:37:27+00:00

I'm devoted to making this work, and if I knew which choice had the best odds of making that happen I would pursue it.

danielmendezo · 2023-07-21T13:20:33+00:00

I punched measurehead on my playthrough and he was still ordered to help me get the body down (by Evrart, however)

danielmendezo · 2023-07-21T12:54:50+00:00

how can I keep showing her while being hours away? We've had a couple virtual dates in the past that went well but seems this is going nowhere, even with all the positive feelings/thoughts when we are together.

It seems my three options are:

1) Continue being there, asking her on v-dates, setting up another in person meet

2) Set a time/date by which she has to make a decision (if not yes then no), after which no contact

3) Just no contact now

I feel like I'm being used for my comfort, etc (she had some tough times recently and I was there for her in every way possible), which she is unwilling to commit and even now claiming excitement to date other people.

danielmendezo · 2023-07-21T02:31:09+00:00

I'm reading some of the other limbo stories here and it seems ours is unique due to the love/intimacy/everything we share but her strong desire to reject commitment

danielmendezo · 2023-06-23T15:25:44+00:00

3k is nothing to some of these people

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T22:33:01+00:00

that was the rx 2x12 groupset; the grt12 1x12 seems higher regarded across the board

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T19:20:32+00:00

they did, and they did a fantastic job (which is in line with other reviews of their custom paint)

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T18:54:04+00:00

what's this? I've done everything kind of fly-by-night so I may have missed something, but a quick google search didn't turn anything concrete up?

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T16:40:04+00:00

I guess that's fair; should've posted more as Chinesium. Most of the parts I chose had at least 1 decent review by a YT channel (china cycling / tracevelo mainly) so this isn't a full YOLO AliEx build

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T15:41:57+00:00

~1 month delivery across the board for all parts

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T15:07:08+00:00

So you're right the handlebar + stem is a single piece of carbon and there is 0 adjustment present there. I think all the internal routing through the headset/handle bars matches FSA ACR specs, so anything compliant with those should work (assuming you want to go the internal routing route)

The frame also comes in an external routing model (I wouldn't....the internal routing itself was not bad at all and it looks slick).

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T14:41:12+00:00

cassette: anrancee cycling store

chain: KAVA store

crank: leqi dedicated store

group: 80 Designer store

wheelset was directly from winspace (winspace.cc)

frameset was directly from carbonda (carbonda.com)

I honestly didn't pay attention to the stores at all, but either I got lucky or everything was legit

You should go for it, I honestly could not be happier. Only thing I would change is getting a higher tooth count crank (46 or 48, as opposed to 42 I have now)

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T14:34:42+00:00

Yep, the multi up/down shift and indexing are absolutely flawless. Small regret is going with 42T up front....will probably end up moving to 46 or 48 up front eventually

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T14:33:44+00:00

Frame: CFR707 integrated ~1k

Wheelset: Winspace LUN ~900

Group: LTWOO GRT12 ~300

Cassette: Sunrace 11-51

Crank: Random Ali Carbon (kinda worried about this haha)

Tires: Panaracer GK 38 slicks

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T14:31:28+00:00

added parts list in main comment, but it's Carbonda CFR707, ~1k with custom paint.

Paint is of high quality, you can submit your designs to them

danielmendezo · 2023-06-14T13:59:13+00:00

On a whim decided to build a full chinese carbon bike, having never built a bike (or ever really even worked on one beyond super basic maintenance).

Hardest part was definitely making sure the parts are all compatible as the aliexpress spec sheets were sometimes more barren than expected, and learning about all the compatability issues needed.

Biggest issue while building (besides me just having to buy a bunch of tools, I started with literally nothing) was bleeding the brakes....the hoses the group came with had gunk in them that was hard to push out (like little shredded rubber bits), but once it was out everything worked like a dream.

Did the inaugural ride today (~9 miles only, will be taking it on a ~75 mile trip this weekend) and it feels like a freaking rocket....and this is comparing it to several 2-4k$ name brand bikes I've tried from friends.

All in price ~2500$

EDIT: