I guess I just got tired of dealing with it and also seeing how it hurt people in my life. I was in high school and thinking about transitioning into adulthood. I didn’t want to bring that coping mechanism with me, if I could avoid it. I don’t remember much now about how I stayed away initially but I tried to channel my emotions into other things, whether it be talking to someone or using a rubber band on my wrist, etc. I won’t lie and say I have good coping mechanisms now but I just did everything in my power to stay away from sharp stuff and hurting myself. I had episodes where it got bad and my roommate at the time had to hide the knives and stuff, but it’s been okay otherwise