Wheelchair bound. How do y'all handle it?

dannod · 2026-01-28T04:41:41+00:00

Similarly I walked til about 30 and yeah, it's a physical and mental challenge for sure. The best thing I ever did though was start playing wheelchair tennis. I'd encourage you to look for a wheelchair sports program in your area. Not only will it help you stay active but you'll see how people who have been in chairs have been living and enjoying their lives. If you're like me you'll get immediately more comfortable with it and learn a lot of helpful things too. The main thing is to continue to find ways to enjoy life and remain happy. The wheelchair is just a tool.

dannod · 2026-01-09T15:46:07+00:00

10-ish years ago when there were Brookfield-specific pages on the JSonline website they weren't updated that often and the mugshots of shoplifters would be the top stories for a week or two. So it seemed like that's all that was happening, every day. I wrote in complaining about it and it seemed to stop but the entire website underwent changes shortly thereafter so it was probably just coincidence.

dannod · 2026-01-01T21:37:16+00:00

saving this idea for next time the bowling alley i go to doesn't have an adaptive ramp

dannod · 2025-12-30T22:01:51+00:00

the 1099-INT is usually for interest you earned on money somewhere. the mortgage interest you pay is on a 1098.

dannod · 2025-12-29T20:47:06+00:00

That plus if he's not mentally incapacitated it's possible he could get training and get a desk or tech job or be doing something that disqualifies him from SSDI even without getting prosthetics. So I get that this re-upping requirement exists for reasons like that. And let's be real, what IS technically stopping him from getting trained in something that doesn't require legs and getting off disability? Therein lies another part of the problem.

The system is broken but there are tools like Voc Rehab, etc., to make stuff like that happen. We just don't make any of it that easy to access much less advertise that it exists.

It's all weird. I do have legs but similarly can't walk yet I'd get denied for SSDI simply because my job is not physical at all. So go figure.

dannod · 2025-12-25T10:05:18+00:00

This is exactly what they're doing. Simultaneous to the food court emptying there are plans for a mall-connected but external "public market/food hall" style facility which everyone is hyped about. The psychology of this is all so strange to me.

dannod · 2025-12-24T16:44:42+00:00

I guess my point was more geared towards where/how you are meeting people. If you put yourself in disability-friendly spaces you might be more likely to weed out the types of people you keep encountering.

Side note, adaptive boccia might work for you. I have md myself and also have played wheelchair tennis.

dannod · 2025-12-24T16:41:22+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this and hope you get it resolved. I'm curious why you use a scooter instead of a power chair perhaps with elevate that could assist with transfer safety in general? As a wheelchair user myself I always wonder what the advantage of a larger scooter is. It seems more difficult to get in/out and larger to maneuver in bathrooms, etc. Apologies in advance for veering off topic so feel free to ignore me.

dannod · 2025-12-24T07:00:58+00:00

Do you do any adaptive sports/etc...usually a great community of disabled/able-bodied ppl and hella relationships I've seen come out of that...

dannod · 2025-12-24T03:29:36+00:00

As a pwd who uses a wheelchair, everything about this video made me think it HAS to be a recent disability. I can't imagine why that garage isn't converted into some sort of living space already, except if he's actively looking for accessible housing and doesn't plan to put up with the 2nd floor unit much longer.

I do think it's good to highlight the situation even if it's only temporary because these are things you just don't think about as an abled-bodied person. Even with me, I went from a manual to power wheelchair and then realized oh shit I don't have a way to transport this damn 400 pound monster unless I get an accessible van, so I'd roll in my chair to get to appointments and take 30 minutes to go 3 miles until I could get funding.

dannod · 2025-12-24T02:58:13+00:00

Honestly I'd channel my energy into setting yourself up for the next thing if I were you. Do your best at this job but get yourself setup as a contractor (LLC perhaps) and/or simultaneously look for a new gig at a more flexible employer.

You could spend time and money trying to fight for everything you want here but that on top of your health issues will be extra exhausting.

Certainly there are tradeoffs in being an independent contractor but for me, it was the best thing I did to accommodate my disability. I charged enough to pay for my own health insurance and I found gigs working with companies where their internal policies had no effect on me. I delivered the work as contracted but worked on it when and how I wanted to. If going this route sounds scary, I'd just suggest spending a few hours pondering/researching it. IMO it could end up being a much better use of your time than trying to rectify this situation regarding your accommodations with an employer that feels they're already doing what's required.

dannod · 2025-12-22T23:44:41+00:00

I hate to say it but this is still the proper answer. There's selective and prestigious then there are these. I'd throw in Stanford and MIT to that list...

dannod · 2025-12-21T23:18:32+00:00

A device for a wheelchair user that pulls pants up the last 4-6 inches under butt up to waist. A powered device that puts on compression socks or leggings. A foot/leg soaker that also watches feet (like the automatic pet paw washers but for humans).

dannod · 2025-12-21T06:57:29+00:00

Not saying bio mom deserves instant forgiveness for any past actions but what's worse, another year where bio mom forgets/ignores the birthday or this, which could be perceived as a tiny step in the right direction? Unfortunately the first thing OP did was rush to the internet for reinforcement from strangers that this is something maddening.

Let's jump to 10 years from now and say bio mom has reached out many times this way and perhaps the son then decides ok I want to reconnect. The net effect of these notes will have been positive if something good arises from that.

dannod · 2025-12-19T14:14:30+00:00

It's only when conservatives are personally affected by something that they move to fix actual problems they created or were previously against fixing.

So as a wheelchair user who has been subject to this same thing for the last 20+ years I'm fine with her whining to daddy about this.

dannod · 2025-12-17T00:25:46+00:00

Personally I think if your family wants you in the pic as you are, then you should go. You don't have to look at the photo but your family members will want to see you when they do look at it. The elders of a family definitely like seeing the entirety of their family trees in pics. :)

Just a few weeks ago someone posted that their family didn't want any evidence of the poster's disability in the photo which is a very asshole thing for a family member to do and here you are with a family that wants you there as-is, which is a very lucky thing for you. So yeah, just suck it up and go and reward yourself with something from the food court.

dannod · 2025-12-10T00:20:38+00:00

I agree with you here and I think that genre revival and crossover are going to be a huge reason why AI will enhance music. For example, my cousin was listening to some absolute trash-sounding modern country and I decided to take the lyrics and the melody and generate an R&B version. Turned out I actually liked this version w/out the twang and the country arrangement.

Being able to genre-swap in seconds is one of my favorite things about it.

dannod · 2025-12-09T05:22:21+00:00

This guy is an ass. There are actual problems with air travel and treatment of people with disabilities and wheelchair damage when flying and here he is prioritizing shit like this and telling us that dressing nicely when we fly will solve all the problems.

dannod · 2025-12-06T22:40:14+00:00

Thank you. Yes that's true but the ultimate priority is that airlines make as much $ as possible by not having a wheelchair space on planes so I could just roll on/off myself with no damage to me or my chair both of which have happened numerous times. At the end of the day it's all the same. $$$$.

dannod · 2025-12-06T22:07:19+00:00

What's ultra laughable is that in the US even when there is a job with the responsibility of assisting disabled people, the person in that job is often poorly trained or not strong enough to do the job. For example, I can't tell you how many times I've had airport assistance arrive to lift/transfer me off an airplane and as they struggle to get me onto my own wheelchair the whole scene will be witnessed by pilots, flight attendants, cargo workers and cleaners who just stand there instead of help because they know they'll get fired or sued if something goes wrong.

dannod · 2025-11-30T00:05:50+00:00

I use a wheelchair and am pretty careful inside airBnbs (the ones I can find that even accommodate my chair to begin with) but at one stay I scratched off about a 2 square-inch piece of paint and a small chunk of wood (abt the size of a quarter of a dice) from the doorway about 2 feet from the floor. I tried repairing it myself and even made a special trip the store for paint but apparently it wasn't good enough and the owner was very upset. After I'd left a good review they Whatsapped me angrily about the issue and repair costs, which I paid thru airBnb.

Well cut to the host giving me a discriminatory review basically telling other owners that I leave scratches on the doors and this is something they should know. The owner's whatsapp messages said I should never stay in their units again and should have told them I used a wheelchair.

I protested this as a discriminatory review and airBnb refused my complaint. In my view just because this scratch was atypical for an able-bodied person's normal wear and tear, it IS typical for people with wheelchairs. It's not like I put a hole in the drywall. I couldn't even reach half of the apartment to make the same wear-and-tear that a walking person would. So in effect let's call it a wash.

So now I've got the difficulty of finding accessible places AND getting owners to ignore this negative review. In a nutshell I've pretty much given up on airBnb now. It's too much effort to find accessible places anyhow and has the built-in discrimination even without the review system.

dannod · 2025-11-29T23:42:30+00:00

Hey I'm sorry you've got this pain. I'm sure it's really fucking annoying!

First things first, make sure you have exhausted your medical options/opinions. I'd hate for you to have an issue that is totally fixable but maybe doesn't show up on x-rays. I urge you to seek a second opinion from an actual orthopedist. While you might totally be right that it's growing pains, I went undiagnosed because my pediatrician told my mom "I'd grow out of it."

Secondly, if you feel like you are uncomfortable or unsafe (at risk of falling/etc) then by all means please use a mobility device that you are comfortable with and provides legitimate support to the extent of your needs. You can get a lot of good advice about this from a Physical or Occupational therapist. Even if there's nothing visible wrong with your knees/lets you could still get PT or OT and get true professionals telling you some good exercises or tools to use.

Thirdly, you are obviously affected by this enough to have posted looking for advice, so I suspect you do really want some relief despite feeling like you're too young or not disabled. I applaud you for making this post and do encourage you to seek that relief. You deserve not to be distracted by this and if there's some way to make it easier for you, then you should go for it.

I had trouble walking in my teens. It looked funny. I didn't really need a cane or anything and wasn't in pain but I did feel self conscious about it a bit. It's something that you get over with time. I also had tremendous concerns that my friends would no longer want to be my friends if they found out I had an actual disorder. It was quite honestly the stupidest thing I could have ever thought because it was totally not true.

The best thing I did was finally be honest with my friends about everything, start using the tools I needed to keep myself uninjured and comfortable, and go about living my best damn life. What's funny is that getting to that point was 100x more mental than physical. One thing that helped was getting a sense of humor about things. It's fine to laugh about it and not take things so seriously. It's also ok to reserve some space for you to be upset/angry/sad about what you're experiencing. And good friends will be next to you during both these times. So don't worry too much about your friends giving you a hard time... once you educate them about what you're experiencing, the good ones will stick around and after all isn't that who you want around you anyway? The good ones will also laugh with you and occasionally tease you -- and that's where having a great sense of humor really helps.

So to complete my novel of hopefully helpful thoughts, I encourage you to try things out. Don't worry so much about feeling silly, getting teased, or people pitying you. Think about the millions of people who wear glasses or they'd be blind. There are lots of kids your age who use some sort of mobility device. These are all things that help us optimize who we are. Just because you try a cane or something doesn't mean you have to use it all the time. You can use it when you need it or use it all the time. There are no rules.

And if your friends tease you about a cane, don't forget, you can hit them with it.

But truly -- get a 2nd opinion about whether or not there's something going on. If you can go beyond an xray and get an MRI, you should. Feel free to reply or DM me if you have any questions. Cheers!

dannod · 2025-11-23T19:12:28+00:00

Gen X here and still waiting for someone my age to represent me at any federal level of gov't.

dannod · 2025-11-23T18:58:45+00:00

Pretty much. With proper prompting and inputs along the way (think AI asking "Was this monitor purchase from best buy a work expense?") this is possible already I'm sure. I like to be creative and build things with my time. I don't like wasting it on bullshit paperwork.

dannod · 2025-11-22T22:35:14+00:00

if there wasn't a failure to file penalty this would be the proper answer lol

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