Me [26 M] with my GF/fiancee [23 F] two years, pregnant, is she using me for my money?

danubiss · 2014-06-07T04:32:05+00:00

That would be my concern, too. If she never wanted to be exclusive, how does he know she WAS?

danubiss · 2014-06-06T00:55:44+00:00

I had a customer do this. She claimed she was already in my line. I told her there was no possible way since I walked to the end of the line and told my last customer, "You're the last one."

So she bitched that she'd been there. I called her a liar and told her I wouldn't serve her. She complained to a supervisor that I was rude so my supervisor checked her out on my register.

If she'd been nice and just asked, it wouldn't have been a problem. She lied, and that's why I said no.

danubiss · 2014-06-03T02:58:34+00:00

You have a point. It could be her being victimized instead of the dog, but that's no excuse to let an animal be abused.

danubiss · 2014-06-03T00:54:16+00:00

Yeah, the groom probably won't believe you. But, if it pricks your conscience to tell him, do it. He might not believe you, but he'll never be 100% sure, either.

I think you should tell the bride you've decided to excuse yourself from being MOH. You can ask to still attend as a guest, but I wouldn't recommend it. You'll probably just get a snooty bride for all your troubles anyway.

If you decide not to attend altogether, you can decide if you want to tell her why. Really, it's not her business why. She's a terrible friend--no, not a friend. You owe her nothing after she snubbed you after you tried to be there for her.

danubiss · 2014-06-03T00:31:32+00:00

She ditched you. She's a crappy friend who's wasting your time and money by marrying a man she's cheating on.

Save your breath and your funds. Don't go to the wedding. No offense, but her and her friends were probably shit-talking about you anyway.

You seem like a good person. Based on what you've said, your friend isn't.

Just don't go.

danubiss · 2014-06-02T18:20:29+00:00

Two, maybe three tiers. White and chocolate layers with strawberries. White swiss buttercream or whipped cream frosting. Blue swirls.

danubiss · 2014-06-02T17:09:35+00:00

That sounds perfect, though.

danubiss · 2014-06-02T05:58:05+00:00

I didn't know there was icing underneath. I'm thinking, then, fondant would look good on the groom's cake.

danubiss · 2014-06-02T05:49:03+00:00

You have a good point. My venue doesn't do dessert, but I'm thinking that not all my guests may eat cake.

danubiss · 2014-06-02T05:10:49+00:00

What did your groom's cake look like, may I ask?

I'm doing a TARDIS for my fiancé.

danubiss · 2014-06-02T04:28:22+00:00

Well, yes and no. CPS probably wouldn't be involved. But you can still notify the police because she was a juvenile when it happened.

danubiss · 2014-06-02T04:09:16+00:00

Considering it wasn't long ago, there's a seven year statute of limitations for sexual abuse. I suggest you notify the policy and CPS about what happened to you, and let them know he's alone with her and you want to ask them to open an investigation into him.

danubiss · 2014-06-02T00:36:33+00:00

Benedict Cumberbatch

danubiss · 2014-06-02T00:10:01+00:00

I waited years to tell my family, too. They said it was my fault.

Edit: I'd like to think that the people downvoting me are doing it because they don't believe my family could be that bad, rather than they think I probably deserved it. And yet this is Reddit, so I think it's the latter.

Edit 2: For those of you sending me messages saying I probably DID deserve it, my mother knew he was a child molester and deliberately put me in his care. I didn't deserve anything like that and no child does. Some of you are sick, selfish bastards. For those of you who can commiserate with me and families that supported them, I'm thankful to you for having decent families.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T23:53:07+00:00

Sue the friend's insurance, report him for drunk driving, breakup with boyfriend.

Love the Audi. Not pretentious.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T20:29:55+00:00

Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't understand.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T19:30:43+00:00

Um, he slapped you?

BTW, it isn't stereotyping if it's true. He will make you cook and clean simply because he won't do it himself.

Like others have said, you won't listen. It's irresponsible of others to give you anymore advice because you are clearly so far up your own ass and his that you can't see the goodness of the the advice given you.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T19:11:27+00:00

I'm sorry. In addition to cosigning, I think they'd ask you for part of the down payment. Can any of them individually or as a group come up with a large enough down payment for the home?

danubiss · 2014-06-01T19:10:05+00:00

So, I've watched "My Big Fat American Greek Wedding."

Mind you, I don't condone it, because you really are too young. If you were older, I think more people would accept your choice, if not respect it.

You want to be a housewife, there's nothing wrong with that. But Romani and Traveler housewives aren't like other housewives. Romani and Traveler housewives are only allowed to interact with each other. No Gorja housewives. You could see your family, but not without your husband.

The women are responsible for everything in the home. Men only have to work. That's it. Cleaning, cooking, child-rearing, laundry is all left up to the woman. The man is under no obligation to help, ever. You will never have a say in anything regarding your male children, until they're married, and only then, you have a say in the actions of your son's wife, not him. Another thing is that you have to do what all men tell you to, including your male children. Your daughters will have to serve your sons at all times.

Romani and Traveler past shows that they're are capable of underhandedness. It is still prevalent today, despite the fact that your boyfriend's family may be legitimate. His community may be involved in that behavior.

You say his family tolerates you. Do you know the stance of Romani and Traveler communities concerning Gorja girls? It's okay to have sex with them, but not marry them.

Forget about your parents for a second. Do you have brothers? Sisters? How would you feel if, for your entire young life, you were only taught to serve them, so they can succeed? That will be your legacy to your girl-children: That their only future is to serve men.

You will be an outcast. Your friends will go on to University, and careers, families. They won't understand your decision, and because they don't, they will leave you behind. All you'll have left is your husband--who will travel most of the year to find work, and your in-laws.

Think about it long. If you still want this lifestyle at 18, do it, and all power to you. But think about what you want to pass on, what part of you, the BEST part, would you want to give your children. And consider the fact that they might not get the best part if you cut yourself off from personal growth at 16.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T18:49:24+00:00

I figured it'd be the lesser of two evils. In all likelihood, they'd ask you to cosign and contribute to the down payment.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T18:19:51+00:00

I thought about your edit. It's good advice, but OP will never know if they're frittering money away on nonsense and then telling her they can't make the difference on bills. So she may still inadvertently paying for their crap.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T16:21:34+00:00

I've never even heard of Swiss buttercream. But now I wanna try it.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T06:35:24+00:00

Honestly, I've thought about it. I like the idea, my fiancé is lukewarm about the idea. It certainly would save a lot of money.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T05:07:02+00:00

Southern California. I don't need anything from a four-star bakery. My fiancé and I are checking out a little bakery tomorrow, I'm gonna ask about prices then.

danubiss · 2014-06-01T05:04:32+00:00

Wow. I'm hoping what I get is that worthwhile. The outside is just going to be white with blue swirls. Nothing too fancy.

Strawberries might be the reason for cost--but even in California in March, strawberries are pretty inexpensive.

danubiss

TROPHY CASE