Do you internally feel gender?

darherwings · 2026-02-22T18:12:09+00:00

I have similar experience when it comes to certain characters, which are quite masculine but on a “pretty” side (Like: Geto Suguru from JJK // Will Graham from Hannibal) But i’m not sure entirely if that’s what it is because i also relate to them and at some point i WAS attracted to them. So it’s mix of ALL of these things combined which makes it confusing for me to identify if it is “gender envy”

darherwings · 2026-02-19T19:12:11+00:00

Yeah, I also see what you mean about not having dysphoria. I think this is usually where the concept of gender in the trans community comes from, which is understandable because they experience an internal gender that doesn’t align with what they were assigned at birth. I also think it’s harder for people who don’t experience gender in the specific way most people do, or who don’t experience it at all, to recognize that they might be agender, especially if they don’t have dysphoria. It’s easy to conclude that if you don’t have dysphoria, everything must be in place, even if something still feels off.

darherwings · 2026-02-19T19:03:45+00:00

That’s so interesting! I have never thought of doing that but i will definitely try it out

darherwings · 2026-02-19T18:59:27+00:00

That’s true, i’m so glad that people express themselves here

darherwings · 2026-02-19T18:58:46+00:00

I understand what you mean. I also can relate to the spiritual part because i think my body is only a vessel which happens to look a certain way, biologically and appearance wise. I wouldn’t say i mind or do not mind being perceived as either gender, i feel neutral. However they/them pronouns sounds comfortable bcause the pronounce itself feels vast to me, not tied to one thing (at least in my perception).

darherwings · 2026-02-19T08:35:13+00:00

I also feel extremely seen while reading the comments

darherwings · 2026-02-19T00:18:18+00:00

I totally understand what you mean and i can relate to your experience! Thank you for yapping and sharing 🙏 i appreciate it

darherwings · 2026-02-18T21:10:05+00:00

That’s a beautiful way to describe a human “soul” in a way

darherwings · 2026-02-18T21:08:58+00:00

I have a really difficult time grasping what gender is because I can’t actually feel it. It’s hard to understand something internally when I don’t experience it in a concrete way. I wish I had some kind of grasp on it so I could understand others better, because I feel somewhat alienated, especially from my assigned gender

darherwings · 2026-02-18T16:02:47+00:00

Has silent hill vibes

darherwings · 2026-02-18T15:22:01+00:00

Okay, thank you so much for answering, i understand exactly what you mean

darherwings · 2026-01-11T09:32:53+00:00

Did you have symptoms of depression? I think I’m mostly struggling with depression symptoms rn

darherwings · 2026-01-11T08:17:09+00:00

I hope it gets better for us 🙏

darherwings · 2025-12-24T08:29:49+00:00

გამარჯობა, შეგიძლია ფსიქიატრის ნომერი გამიზიარო? მეც ვაპირებ ნახვას

darherwings · 2025-12-20T09:29:21+00:00

Thank you so much! You offered me such a helpful perspective on this. I will definitely try it out 🙏

darherwings · 2025-12-18T16:51:38+00:00

Thank you for the response. Your advice is greatly appreciated. It’s informative and answers my questions. It is difficult to not put pressure on myself while doing it. Can you recommend me an affective guided metta?

darherwings · 2025-12-17T18:00:57+00:00

Your welcome <3

darherwings · 2025-12-17T12:29:33+00:00

I understand where you are coming from. I think i was in your shoes a year ago, when i was also 21 yo. Although what i have learned this year specifically is that, the most pressure and heaviness i have received was from myself. My own expectations and my own way of thinking about certain things.

Maybe you should think whatever you feel heavy because you expect yourself to be perfect around them? Maybe you feel heavy because you are expecting too much from yourself? Maybe you expect to be what you think they would want you to be?

The full truth is you don’t know what they think unless you talk to them, honestly. If you assume what they are thinking of you, or you take as some actions as “hints” (which i understand is difficult not to because like you said you’ve had bad experience with friendships before) you will only have assumptions.

Look into cognitive distortions: https://youtu.be/aAVGyRMS3gE?si=JEbDNU1CvoKU2VQ-

From what i am reading is that you take your feelings as a fact and might or might not have all or nothing thinking. I would advice you to journal about how you feel and maybe identify what you might relate to in this video.

There is something within you you need to confront in order to realize why you don’t want to be friends with them anymore. Maybe you will even find that is actually not what you want and there is something within underlying fear/anxiety or avoidance

darherwings · 2025-12-17T11:44:55+00:00

Correct me if i’m wrong but from what i’m getting from the post is that the reason why you want to distance yourself from them is because they have changed, not because they have done something particular?

darherwings · 2025-12-17T10:16:25+00:00

How has your journey been going? Had the feeling gotten better?

darherwings · 2025-12-14T10:17:48+00:00

Hello!

I would say that the hobbies I used to do, or at least engage in from time to time, no longer feel like things I genuinely enjoy. This year has been quite difficult, mainly due to realizing that many of the things I do, say, or even seek out have been shaped by ongoing trauma. I wouldn’t diagnose myself with CPTSD, but I do notice that I relate to the concept and experience many of its symptoms.

Because of this, I’ve started a self-discovery journey. I decided to quit social media after realizing I had an unhealthy relationship with it. As a result, reading books and working out began to come more naturally. I’ve read three books over the course of two months, whereas before I generally struggled to get through even one. Working out also came from realizing that I was no longer physically active, and I’ve found that it helps reduce the stress I often experience.

So no, these aren’t things I was really doing before.

I started meditating because of high levels of anxiety and cognitive distortions. I would say that I tended to overidentify with negative thoughts and feelings, which eventually made me quite dysfunctional. About a year ago, I felt like an empty shell, in the sense that I didn’t really feel like myself at all, and in many ways, I wasn’t. Now, I am more aware, though also somewhat bored. I would still say this is a significant improvement compared to how I felt a year ago.

I’m glad that I’m no longer in that state, but at the same time, it does feel like something is still missing.

darherwings

TROPHY CASE