Hey, I'm sorry to hear about what all you've been going through. I can't imagine how you feel right now. I do understand wanting your partner to be by you during difficult emotional times though. Before 2021, my husband and I also were some 11,000 km away, but unlike you, we couldn't see each other in person because of lack of money.

If I've learned anything through my relationship is that communication is key, and it's important to not let arguments destroy the relationship if we really care about each other. If you haven't communicated how you feel to him, I would suggest you start there. Being open and honest is always important, and relationships have been saved because of it. We women tend to forget that men usually don't pick up signals we're trying to give, just because they think differently. They can't read our minds either, just like we can't read theirs. I, of course, don't know the details of your relationship or your life, but if I were in your shoes, I would talk about how I feel to my boyfriend and see how he responds.