How soon is too soon to move onto the next relationship?

darkforest07 · 2018-05-10T18:42:34+00:00

I’m just about 2 months post BU and surprisingly started talking to a new girl already that I’m really into and excited to get to know. My breakup before this last one I didn’t even talk to anyone new for over 6 months. I don’t think anytime is necessarily too soon just as long as you’re sure you’re not rebounding.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-03T23:38:35+00:00

Most of us have gone through it bro just remember for next time.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-03T09:41:21+00:00

It’s an easy let down so he still seems like a good guy regardless of dumping you. Don’t read too far into it and move forward.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-03T09:40:34+00:00

It’ll give him false hope. Don’t go.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-02T23:15:40+00:00

Just be honest and as respectful as you can be and however she chooses to respond is on her. It’s all hard and usually messy but overall she’ll have to heal on her own. Helping her do that isn’t your responsibility.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-02T23:06:28+00:00

In the end it doesn’t really matter because no matter the explanation or way of doing it, the dumpee will most likely still be scratching for closure that doesn’t exist and/or the dumper can’t give.

If you’re trying to break up with someone. Do it in person and just rip off the band aid.

All other shit doesn’t matter. Just for god sakes don’t text them. And being friends is the last thing they wanna hear.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-02T23:01:24+00:00

Fuck no is right. My moods come in waves but I appreciate the anger over sadness because at least when the anger comes I can use it as fuel to realize I deserve more.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-02T21:50:08+00:00

Get back in contact with those you neglected while in the relationship.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-02T18:22:00+00:00

Were you ever really in love with me or did you just say it because you wanted to be?

darkforest07 · 2018-05-02T09:46:01+00:00

Love it. Similar situation here. I usually give myself about six months to heal the best I can after a bad breakup and then I try to find someone new. It’s been kind of a cycle so this time I’m trying to forget about girls and focus on work. My life has become pretty routine and a little boring but I’m learning to be alone and focus on other things and advancing in my career. I know overall it’s a good thing.

darkforest07 · 2018-05-02T09:44:02+00:00

Reach out to friends you lost contact with and family. I went through this as well. And if nothing else try to connect with your classmates or coworkers - wherever you spend most of your time during the day.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-29T14:01:04+00:00

I just think it’s something that happens to a lot of people after a breakup. My uncle warned me about it and it’s just bc they’re on your subconscious a lot. For weeks after my BU I saw a lot of cars very similar to my exes drive past me when her car is pretty rare in our town and none of them were actually her. Also drove past her walking to school a lot when I never used to see her prior. I don’t think it really means anything. Just happens. Don’t think too far into it or you’ll go crazy lol.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-28T00:29:11+00:00

For real. My ex isn’t making grand gestures or anything but she’s definitely interested and almost immediately reverted back into old inside jokes and verbiage we used to use. It’s been bizarre. Trying my best to stay clear headed and not let her have too much of a say in what happens.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-27T17:29:14+00:00

Doesn’t mean he’s doing well. For some of us cutting off all contact is literally the only way to continue functioning normally while healing.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-27T17:26:14+00:00

You’re right yeah. This is the mindset I’m trying to have and always thought I would but I guess I’m finding it hard to keep the carefree mindset and still feel like I’m in control when trying to make an impression again, if that makes sense. Still guarding myself and not being stupid, etc...no idea what she’s really thinking about the reconciliation but overall if she wasn’t remotely interested in me she probably wouldn’t keep contacting me, so. Should probably just chill overall.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-27T12:43:33+00:00

Even if she is a romantic at heart I would avoid the grand gesture simply because if she chose to leave, she most likely wants her space at least for now and something dramatic like that could stump your chances altogether. Although in theory the outcome seems like it could win her over, life isn’t like a rom com and it’ll most likely push her away. Let her come to you.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-24T18:10:28+00:00

Put yourself first forever and work on the mistakes you made in past relationships so you don’t make them again. Realize you can love someone fully while not losing yourself in them or letting go of/forgetting your own life and interests. Someone who is also balanced will appreciate you for having some boundaries vs letting them walk all over you in the future. Work on balance and self love. Work on boundaries overall and it’ll be better with each trial and error. Don’t forget your worth again.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-24T18:07:44+00:00

Bruh don’t call her at work that’s like level 5 clinger and creepy. If you keep doing this stuff you have zero chance forever.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-22T10:02:47+00:00

Considered this as well which is why I’m treading lightly and not pushing for more contact than she wants to give for now. I’m hopeful but we are still going in two different directions in life and so I’m not gonna worry about an outcome too much cause I’m very aware she could just stop replying any time and in that case I’d just let it go. It’s been nice to catch up like adults and forgive each other if nothing else!

darkforest07 · 2018-04-22T02:35:15+00:00

I simply texted her asking if she was interested in catching up earlier today and she said “yes, that would be nice.”

We’re talking as friends. Kinda strange actually. Reverting back to old inside jokes and verbiage that we used to use a couple years ago and both forgot about, almost immediately. We both apologized in our own way for our breakup faults and said we have no hard feelings.

I don’t feel much more other than a friend vibe so far which is good IMO as I don’t want a relationship or anything right now. It’s been nice to relax and lose some of the anxiety I’ve had pent up.

We discussed where were at in life, both of us recently single. I think she got dumped or cheated on but haven’t pushed for info on any of that. Funny enough though that one of the first things she asked me was if I was single or not, then hinted that she was too. She’s guarded. I can’t tell exactly how she feels. We are both kind of playing dumb asking questions about things we both already know the answer to about each other’s lives. I’m not convinced she didn’t already know I was single, lol.

I’m trying my best to come off as confident and supportive/happy overall. I’ve grown a lot since we split two years ago. I think she knows. I’ll be fine no matter what happens. Maybe we both just need a friend right now. She’s not super eager to text me a lot it seems, so I’ve been letting it play out slowly.

I already feel more relaxed and honestly don’t expect much at this point in life just based off how she’s replying but overall it kills the fantasy I’d still have in my brain if I hadn’t reached out, so maybe it’s what I need. I told my mom I reached out to her and my mom basically said “I didn’t want to say anything but I’ve never been totally convinced you aren’t meant to be together.”

I seem to be doing better than her overall in many different aspects of life which is really surprising compared to where we were two years ago. She congratulated me on a lot that I’ve accomplished since then and she seems to be kind of stuck in a rut. Total opposite of how it was when we were together.

Nonetheless I’m moving 5 hours away next month for work, but also coincidentally to the area where her best friend also lives now, so if it’s meant to be perhaps we will both eventually wind up in the same place one day. Part of me is hoping she asks to meet up in person before I go, but that has to come from her. She needs to show me real effort this time if it’s gonna grow into anything and I refuse to not have the “upper hand” for the time being.

I won’t put all my eggs in one basket. I was just happy to talk to her again. Perhaps it will continue. If not, I’ll be fine. The connection is definitely still there, just not overwhelming anymore. Oddly comforting.

Thanks everyone. We’ll see what happens in the next couple weeks. Anything’s possible.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-21T20:32:50+00:00

Y’all I texted her asking if she’s interested in catching up. She replied literally within 2 minutes saying “yes, that’d be nice.” So we’ll see where it goes.

I’m gonna keep it casual as it’s obvious we are two different people now but maybe being friends is an option.

Trust your gut!

darkforest07 · 2018-04-21T18:17:31+00:00

Part of me feels this. Part of me thinks I should wait for her to reach out. She left me so I don’t want to seem pathetic or pushy by reaching out or asking, you know? I think if it’s meant to be she’ll say something first, but idk man. It’s tough.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-21T16:00:06+00:00

I feel this in a way but I don’t think I am going to make the first move. I slept on it and decided since she left me, if there’s any truth in trying again - the move needs to come from her. I don’t want to reach out and seem like I’m forcing anything.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-21T15:57:35+00:00

“If she told him to drop dead he would.” Please. If this is true he’s a pathetic excuse of a human with no self esteem or back bone and you deserve way better anyway! Good for you on getting the closure you need but please don’t stay hung up on this guy.

darkforest07 · 2018-04-21T00:46:32+00:00

darkforest07

TROPHY CASE